


All My Sins Need Holy Water

by Sam_Haine



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Violence, Car Sex, Crying, Drunk Sex, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Fist Fights, Gratuitous Smut, Heavy Angst, High School, M/M, Oral Sex, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Physical Abuse, Porn, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-13
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-03-17 21:38:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 60,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13667799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sam_Haine/pseuds/Sam_Haine
Summary: After everything that's happened in Hawkins, Indiana, Steve Harrington is not okay. Billy doesn't want to care about the pretty boy downward-spiralling. But somehow he does. A lot.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I NEED HELP!!!!!! HARRINGROVE HAS GOT A HOLD ON MY ASSSSSSSSS!!!!! THIS MIGHT BE A ONE SHOT.... OR A TWO CHAPTER SOMETHING. Jejdbekdjwlsndn

All My Sins Need Holy Water

 

Billy felt his head spin a little as he knocked back his umpteenth shot of tequila for the night. The mass of hot and sweaty bodies all around him vibrated with the loud noise screeching through the speakers. Bon Jovi was screaming something about "living on a prayer" and the guitar rifts had Billy feeling some type of way. He loved the rawness of the lyrics. He head banged to the beat of the drum and knocked back another shot. He felt a cold hand run down his slick chest, straight down to his muscled torso, his leather jacket wide open for the girls to drink in. 

"You falling asleep on me Billy?" Hanna Gosling grinned, her smile wide and her blood red lipstick perfect. Her eyes were glazed slightly and she looked a bit inebriated, which was exactly why her hand was currently feeling up the hard bulge in the front of his low waisted jeans. He twitches and smirks down at her, downing another shot. He runs a slick hand through her dark hair and tugs on it firmly, pulling her head back to plunder her mouth. 

"Shots Hargrove!" 

The annoying voice of Tommy rang through the clustered air and over the loud pounding music. Billy broke the kiss and turned around, grabbing the shot and downing it. Jesus Christ he knew he needed to slow down but fuck, Neil had been a dick all evening and he just wanted to get really fucking wasted tonight. The party was Kyle Afernee's, a guy at school. They weren't close but Billy was the coolest kid at school at the moment so, his invite came by default. 

"C'mon baby, kiss me..." Hanna whines petulantly, hanging off of his shoulder. He tries to shrug her off but she's got a hold on him. It's better to ignore her and just try to enjoy the party. There are other guys around them, rocking out to the metal blasting throughout the house. It seems a good enough idea to just get lost in their mindless chatter. 

"You guys see Harrington?" Mason cackles, gulping down his beer. 

"Yeah, I saw him when the party started." Tyler, a guy on the basketball team replies indulgently. 

Billy doesn't really care about Harrington at the moment but his ears perk up anyway. 

"He was with Danielson last I saw him." Tommy snickers but there's a hint of disdain in his voice. 

"Danielson... as in, Matthew Danielson?" Billy scoffs, as another shot goes down the hatch. Hanna is grinding her ass on his crotch in possibly the most unappealing way but he's too buzzed to be affected. 

"Yeah." 

Matt Danielson was another popular jock at Hawkins High. He played ball with them and was a star player on the team. Matt was cool and he usually hung out with their group- Tommy, Billy, Tyler and the rest of the jocks. But recently he'd been blowing them off to hang out with Steve. And whenever they had practice, Matt would act like a freaking security guard around Steve, keeping the rest of the team from the squirrely brunette. It was kind of lame at first, but then Billy got the feeling that it was more like Matt keeping Steve away from everyone else. The guy practically had Steve hung up on his shoulder in the hallways, at their lockers, in class. 

Billy didn't give a fuck, but he didn't appreciate what Matt's actions did to the team's performance on the court. He and Matt had even come to a head a few weeks back about it, yelling at each other in the locker room while Steve sat in the corner near the benches with his head down and his arms wrapped around himself. The only reason why Billy even gave a damn in the first place was because the coach had made him team captain- and he'd be damned if his team wasn't on their A game. A demotion wouldn't sit well with Neil. 

He'd tried multiple times to get Steve alone to talk to him about his poor performance but Matt was always around. And every time he attempted to corner the skinny brunette when Matt wasn't around, the guy would just make up some weird excuse for why he couldn't stay to chat. Harrington's behaviour as off late hadn't been normal either. Ever since the fight at the Byers' house and even before that, Steve had been acting all weird and out of sorts. He dozed off in all of his classes, constantly got in trouble for missing assignment due dates, walked out of some classes a couple times and had otherwise been absent or MIA for the rest of the semester. 

"Hey, Hargrove- you with us?" Ryan slurs, snapping uncoordinated fingers about three centimeters away from his face. He blinks and shakes his head. 

"What?" 

"I said Wheeler and Byers just walked in." Tommy croaked, swaying to the beat,some of his beer sloshing and spilling out of the can. Billy grimaced dramatically in that typical asshole way.

"Ugh, the Princess and the Freak. Why did Afernee invite them?" He questions more out of honest curiosity than anything. 

Tommy shakes his head and his tongue makes a clicking sort of popping sound.

"Well, Wheeler got some clout when she dated Steve for a while. I think she's more popular than him now." 

Billy rolled his eyes and finally gathered up the energy to peel Hanna off of his body and place her on the living room couch. She slumped there and didn't move. One of her other friends, Tina or whoever sat with her and tossed Billy a nasty glare.

"M'going for a smoke." He mutters to the guys and the crowd splits like the red sea for him to walk to the front door. 

His hands are already searching and feeling through his pockets, trying to find his Zippo and his pack of cigarettes. He takes a minute to breathe in the cool and clear air outside. The smell of newly cut grass is fresh in his nostrils and he can almost taste the oncoming rain on his tongue. Kyle's street was lined with huge beautiful suburban houses, all neat and nice with manicured gardens and exquisite porches. They've all got at least a two car garage space and Billy's brow raises into his hairline. He really shouldn't be surprised since he almost always visited the area for frequent house parties; the rich side of Hawkins was definitely the place to be at midnight. 

He hears voices as he lights up his cigarette. 

"... like a little slut huh?" 

"No, I swear it wasn't like that-" 

"Really? Then why was he all over you just now?"

Silence follows for a while. At least until-

"Answer me!" 

Geez, somebody was getting yelled at, Billy realized, snickering to himself as he took a long drag, slipping the Zippo back in his pocket. The voices sounded like they were coming from the back- no, just the side of the house. The side with the big ass water fountain and the colourful, flowered hedge. As Billy got closer, he could hear someone sobbing and whimpering quietly. The sounds weren't quite distinctive so Billy tried to get as close as possible without being seen. He opted to hide behind a thick bracket of bushes that had been sheared decoratively. 

"He wasn't-" 

"Don't fucking lie to me!" 

Billy frowns and has to squint to make out the two figures in the distance. It doesn't take him long to realize that it's just Matt and Steve. Steve's pressed up against the house with his left hand clutching his face while Matt stands next to him, practically looming over the other boy cos he's so fucking tall. 

"I swear to God Steve, if you lie to me one more time-" Matt growls and Steve shakes his head. 

"I'm not, Matt I promise! We were just talking." 

Steve's voice is soft and shaky, like he's sobbing but trying to talk at the same time. His hands are wrapped around himself protectively and his head is down, hiding his face. He's shivering out in the chilly December air. Well, he's got on those tight fitting, high waisted blue jeans and a soft, white crop top with a navy blue stripe on each sleeve. Billy hates to admit it, but Steve's flat tummy looks good in that crop top; smooth, creamy and ridged slightly with muscle, all exposed. Billy can imagine kissing that flat stomach. He shakes his head as the couple starts arguing again.

"You're a whore." Matt scowls, grabbing Steve by the hair and yanking him in for a harsh kiss. Steve's hands immediately come up to push Matt away and ends up being slammed against the wall of the house instead. He gasps out in pain as Matt's grip on his wrists tighten. 

"Matt- stop..." Steve whimpers out weakly, struggling against the bigger boy. 

Matt doesn't seem to care though; he slots a knee between Steve's legs and increases the pressure there. Steve cries out as Matt bites his neck hard and moans while grinding down on Steve's crotch. 

"Please- stop..." Steve cries out, pushing at Matt's shoulders.

"What? You don't wanna fuck me? Huh? Is that it? You found someone else to fuck with huh? Is it the same guy you were all over earlier? It's him isn't it? Joey?" Matt snarls at the weak brunette.

"You're drunk... please just- just stop. I want to go home Matt." Steve chokes out, shoving Matt's rough hands from his crotch. Literal tears are streaming down his face now and he just wants to go home. He hated when Matt got like this. So far, he'd already gotten three bitch slaps for his troubles. The left side of his face was still hot and burning from the stings. His lip was swollen, his eyes burning and his face hurt. He made a split second decision and shoved Matt back hard, nails digging into the guy's neck. And, well, of course that didn't sit well with Matt. 

"Bitch!" Matt spits at him before a swift fist catches him right in the temple. He gasps out in pained shock. Black flashes in front of his eyes for a hot second as he falls to the floor, knees colliding with the hard concrete. 

Billy's no stranger to a fight, hell- he's been in enough to know when it's serious and when it's not. He's also no stranger to abuse, whether it's domestic or otherwise. So, it isn't shocking that he can clearly tell that this argument wasn't just some conflict between two guys. They were together, the whole school knew that; but Matt seemed to have all the say in the relationship. No wonder Steve looked so shaky and afraid whenever he was around him. It took Billy a few seconds to register that Matt had knocked Steve to the ground and a few more to wake the fuck up. 

"Hey!" He hollers, coming out from the bushes to approach them. Steve was still struggling to his feet but Matt rounds on him, his amber eyes flashing with a mix of panic and unadulterated fury.

"The fuck d'you want Hargrove? We're a little busy here." Matt sneers, fist tight around Steve's upper arm as he pulls him roughly to his feet. The boy whimpers at the rough handling. He doesn't look at Billy, but Billy can still see his face; red handprints all across his left cheek, tears glistening on his skin. For some reason that makes Billy _incensed_. 

"Busy beating up on guys smaller than you? Is that what you mean Matt?" Billy shoots back, his voice dropping octaves lower than his usual tone, making Steve flinch. He's standing at Matt's side; swaying on his feet, shoulders hunched, still clutching at his face in shame. Billy can see the abject dear and discomfort in the boy's pretty brown doe-eyes and something inside him twinges a little. 

"It's none of your business. We were just talking. Right Steve?" Matt snaps defensively, a possessive hand on Steve's shoulder. Steve just nods dumbly, still not looking Billy in the eye. It's frustrating and sad at the same time. 

"So flooring someone, that's your idea of talking?" Billy pushes, his eyes glinting dangerously as Matt's fingers dig into Steve's shoulder, making the boy whimper. 

"He didn't mean it Billy. It's okay- I'm okay.." Steve finally says quietly, that soft tone doing things to Billy. He just wants to get Steve as far away from Matt as possible. He can tell that Steve doesn't really mean what he's saying. The boy's long fingers brush gingerly against his own face and he touches his lips a few times to see how swollen they are. He looks so small and scared standing next to Matt. 

"No, you're not." Billy grounds out, never taking his eyes off of Matt. 

"Look, this isn't the basketball court Hargrove. You're not team captain out here. So I suggest you go back to the party before I kick your ass." 

Billy nearly breaks his deadly glaring facade to have a nice long cackle at that but he doesn't. Steve and Billy are the only two people standing there right now, who know about Billy's aggression. He's not as tall as Matt, or as muscular but, he's still strapped and he's had years of experience in the field of combat. Hell, going home everyday was a warzone. And Neil was much more skilled in kicking ass than Matt was. He really wasn't ready for Billy.

"Matt, just- let's just go." Steve whispers softly, meekly in Matt's ear but he gets shoved off.

"The fuck did you say? I'm not leaving here. If Hargrove wants a fight, then I'm ready. Ain't no bitch!" Matt spits at the boy.

Billy wastes no time. He charges at Matt, knocking him to the ground, practically pouncing on him like a lion. Matt grabs on to his jacket but Billy's got the upper hand. His fists rain down on Matt's face, punching until Billy hears a crunch- the cartilage in Matt's nose snapping. He sees blood- Matt's hands try to fend him off- Steve next to him trying to pull him off the bastard. 

"Billy- stop! Stop it!" 

"Get off me!" That's Matt choking on his own goddamn blood.

He doesn't hear a damn thing; just keeps swinging punches until he hears loud voices erupting in his ears. It's probably half the party watching and cheering him on. Tommy, Ryan and Tyler and a few other jocks from their posse rush up to separate them. 

"Holy shit!" Tyler cackles; quite a pointless quip within the context of a fight but he helps Ryan wrestle Hargrove. 

"Come on man!" Ryan grunts, pushing Billy back. Tommy and the others are holding Matt. His face is a bloody mess and his nose looks broken as fuck. There is some deep satisfaction in that from Billy. Tommy grimaces down at Matt and then raises an eyebrow at Billy.

"The hell happened Hargrove?" 

It's then, Billy chooses to look over to Steve and his heart drops. The brunette is curled up against the wall, his entire body shaking, his dark eyes wet. He's looking right at Matt; the bloody face, the purple eyes that'll be black by morning, no doubt- hell, the broken nose. It's the Byers house all over again and suddenly Billy feels sick. 

"S... Steve..." He whispers, as movement starts back up all around him. He hears someone say they need ice for Matt and some girl screeching for the ambulance. 

All he can see is Steve. 

The crowd clears up, leaving him there with the near catatonic Harrington. He feels someone prodding his back but he shrugs them off until they give up and walk away. Steve doesn't stare directly at him but his hypnotized gaze falls somewhere right next to his face. The boy backs away from him a little and Billy freezes. 

"I-" He starts but can't seem to finish. Steve looks all too traumatized by the whole thing. 

"Stay away from me." Is all Steve mutters before standing on shaky legs and trudging away from the scene.


	2. Who Cares When It Feels Like Crack

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Something's different about Steve and Billy knows it. Just doesn't know what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep......

Who Cares When It Feels Like Crack 

 

"Sorry about that." Matt mumbles softly, thumb finger rubbing gently over the red handprint on Steve's pretty pale face. Dark, soft-brown eyes glisten and blink at him sadly but Steve has a small smile on his face as he shakes his head at the older guy resting on his lap. 

"It's okay. I'm fine." The naive brunette reassures, lithe fingers carding soothingly through Matt's wet hair. They were lying peacefully on Steve's bed, draining the rest of the night away after... after Hargrove went crazy. 

After that crazy altercation at Kyle's party, Steve had driven Matt to his place as his parents were MIA as usual- to clean up and look after his boyfriend. Billy Hargrove had done a number on Matt's face; and if he was being honest with himself, Steve hadn't expected anything less. Billy was a brute. A big stupid macho show-off who just didn't know when enough was enough. Hell, it had barely been a month after _his_ beatdown at the Byers' place. And his face still hurt a bit even though his bruises had completely healed. 

Steve didn't know how much of their conversation Billy had heard, but- ...whatever Hargrove thought he was doing didn't help the situation at all. Sure Matt batted him around a little, but that was only when Steve really did something bad to make the older boy angry. And... Joey Bancroft _had_ been all over him at Afernee's party. But- that was _none_ of Hargrove's business. Why the hell did he suddenly feel the need to be Steve's knight in shining armour? _Just over a month ago the Cali boy had no problem smashing a fucking plate over his head._ It was annoyingly hypocritical. 

 

"M'gonna fucking kill Hargrove when I see him at school." Matt growls but his voice sounds all warped and weird because of the wrapping across his nose. Billy's fists had snapped the cartilage but Matt seemed to bounce back quick from it. He didn't seem to be in that much pain- then Steve remembered the three lines of coke they'd done before the party. No wonder Matt had been so high-strung all night. The aggression, the rough handling, Matt putting his hands on Steve; was all just drug-induced behavior. Steve sighs. 

"Please Matt... can't we just forget it? Billy's nothing but trouble." He begs timidly, feeling Matt's large, calloused hands squeeze his thigh. He winces hard as the older boy digs his nails into the bare skin, fingers hooking into the edge of Steve's black underwear. Matt springs up from his lap and rounds on Steve dangerously to glare at him. Steve backs up a bit, eyes wide with fear as dark green eyes flash warningly at him. The guy's face is a mess of swollen bruises, lacerations and scrapes. His nose bears the worst of the damage but he still looks dangerous and threatening. 

_"You taking his side Steve?"_ The much bigger boy scathes, Steve bracing himself back on his arms, legs pulled up close to his body as Matt's eyes stalk his every move. 

"N- no, no. Of course not. M'sorry..." He stammers, keeping his eyes lowered as Matt continues to size him up. 

It's a while before Matt finally cools, eyes doing nothing but glowering at Steve as he makes the pretty boy suck him off as an apology. 

He's got nothing but Billy Hargrove on his mind.

*** 

Anyone from the outside looking in would see Steve for who he really was. 

A lost, confused, pathetic excuse for a human being who'd allowed his world to come crashing down because of a few bumps in the road. It seemed like a dream... an extremely old memory of a time when he'd once been King of Hawkins High. When the girls would swoon and fall all over themselves for the pleasure of his company. And when the guys all glared at him with envy because he was practically royalty. "King Steve" had been the moniker. 

At least, that was until Nancy Wheeler came into his life and fucked everything out of orbit. Now, he wasn't even half the King he used to be. He'd changed himself, changed his asshole ways and had readjusted his life for her and around her. Only for her to call it all bullshit in the end and leave him high and dry to hook up with Jonathan Byers behind his back. Of course, other things were going on at the time- the whole Mind Flayer and Demodog fiasco. He was still suffering from PTSD from that. And then the whole issue with Barb. Somehow he felt a type of resentment towards Nancy's red haired friend even though she was dead because of all the friction she'd caused between him and Nancy. It took him a while to let go of that resentment and when he did, that's when everything went to hell. 

He'd sworn up and down that he was okay with Nancy leaving him to be with Jonathan. Had told the kids over and over that he was fine with everything and that the awesome Steve Harrington couldn't be broken so easily. He'd even told Nancy that it was okay and that she'd be okay- reassuring _her_ as if it was her heart _shattering_ by the minute. That night- after he'd dropped Dustin off at the Snowball dance- Steve would _never_ reveal this to anyone but... he'd gone home- locked himself in his room... and had cried the entire night until he fell asleep. 

Being cheated so badly had messed him up. 

_Bad._

Call him weak or pitiful but... after that whole dark period, Steve started hanging out with Matt. Matt and Steve had been casual acquaintances for a few months, teammates on the basketball court and all that. But melancholic and desperate for validation and worth... Steve had practically let himself be _absorbed_ into Matt. The blonde, green-eyed boy had made him feel good when they'd first started talking. Ironically enough, they'd hit it off at a house party in Loch Nora. Matt had been mesmerized by Steve's body and Steve had practically glowed under the attention he was receiving. It made him feel important, loved... _wanted._

At least that's how it started out. 

 

.................

 

The slam of Harrington's locker door wasn't unusual especially when the tired-looking brunette was done with Billy's bullshit. In fact, the loud crunching of metal against metal was a pretty common soundbyte in the locker room after a particularly gruelling practice session. But, today's practice hadn't been _that_ harsh. So Billy couldn't understand why the hell Steve was stomping angrily by his locker and the benches as he tugged his clothes on with conviction. 

Then he heard Tommy and the others snickering. 

_"Hey Harrington, how's your boyfriend?"_

_"Yeah, did he recover yet? Or is his face still caved the fuck in?"_

_"Did you tend to his wounds last night like the good bitch you are?"_

Billy rolled his eyes at the petty, childish banter, slipping on his jeans and belting it low on his waist. He goes for his t-shirt and suddenly Tommy's up against the locker with a loud _bang_ and Steve's hands are clenched hard in his shirt. The brunette is breathing hard and his lips are curled back into a snarl. His eyes are flashing with unbridled anger and honestly, Billy's never seen the pretty boy so _pissed off_ before. 

"Hey- hey- back off! Harrington- I mean it!" He yells at the boy, hands roughly grabbing Steve's wrists, forcefully prying him off of a shocked Tommy. 

Serves him right but right now, he needed to get Steve away from him as possible. 

"C'mon! Out!" 

Billy shoves and shoves at Steve until they're out the gym doors and standing facing each other in the deserted hallways of Hawkins High. Steve glares at him poisonously but Billy only shoots him an unimpressed stare, hands on his hips like a stressed parent who's reached his limit. And honestly, with Steve, it feels like he has. 

"Look, Steve- Tommy's a grade a dick but that doesn't mean you can just go attacking your teammates." He starts and blinks in sheer surprise as Steve scoffs caustically at him, his wet hair falling beautifully into his pretty doe-eyes. 

"That's actually very rich coming from you Hargrove." He sneers in a nasty tone that's not like him at all. Billy isn't fazed though. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

Steve scoffs obnoxiously, shaking his head. 

"Don't act like you're some kind of saint _Billy._ Aren't you the King of 'punch first, talk later'? Don't come down on _me_ for putting Tommy in his place for once!" 

Billy stays silent for a moment, knowing that Steve's not that far off with that comment. Sure, he had an aggressive way about him and he wasn't about to deny that. But he never put his hands on one of his teammates with the exception of Matt- and that had been at a party, not in the locker room. He realizes that maybe this has nothing to do with anything that just happened in the locker room. 

"You sure that explosion back there was because of Tommy?" He sighs, just coming out with it. He sees the flash of recognition in Steve's clear eyes and the scowl that follows is expected to say the least. 

What he doesn't expect... is the venom that Steve spits at him with. 

"It's none of your business Billy. Just like that night at Kyle's party wasn't your business. I meant what I said. _Stay the hell away from me."_

The slam of the gym doors makes Billy flinch as he remains still, head bent low, fists clenched hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u enjoyed.


	3. Trust In My Self-Righteous Suicide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steves going down a rabbit hole he won't come out of if he doesn't get the help he needs. Billy strikes an unlikely alliance with the dweebs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't one of my popular #Harringrove fics although i thought it would be..... but thank you to those who love and support it anyway.

Trust In My Self-Righteous Suicide 

 

Dustin Henderson sighs heavily after hanging up the phone in disappointment for the sixth time this week. There's no rhythm or rhyme to it.

Steve Harrington was ignoring him.

Dustin didn't know what had happened but at least a week after the Snowball, Steve had been distant. He'd stopped answering calls, stopped accepting invitations to play D&D and had stopped being their babysitter who drove them to the arcade every now and then. From what he'd heard, Steve had just been going to school and back home- rarely seen at parties and when he was at those events, he hardly ever spent time with anyone. He'd become obsolete then, in a very tangible way that scared Dustin to no end. Because _his_ Steve was brave and awesome and didn't blow off his friends to live in absolute isolation. 

Something was wrong. And he needed all hands on deck to fix this problem. 

"Lucas? Come in!" He calls into the walkie, sprawled out across his bed on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The speaker crackles after a few seconds.

"Yeah Dustin, over." Came the prompt reply.

"Great! Lemme radio Mike, over." Dustin informs in a professional tone. He doesn't see it, but Lucas rolls his eyes at that and snorts, nodding his head.

"I'll get Max, over." 

Soon enough, there are five kids on the waves, talking in hushed voices because any mission of the party is serious business and their parents don't need to hear the details of their plans. The warm sun is shining down on the small lazy town of Hawkins as they all conspire.

Subject of Discussion: Steve Harrington; AKA Badass Babysitter 

Topic: Steve's been avoiding us

Problem: _Steve's been avoiding us!_

Solution: Call in an SOS and hope Steve comes to their rescue

_No Dustin that's stupid!_

_How is that stupid, Mike?_

_Because we'd be lying to him._

_So we just let him keep on ignoring us?_

_Maybe we should tell him Nancy wants to talk to him._

_What?! No! Lucas that's a terrible idea!_

_That's actually a very terrible idea Lucas. They haven't spoken since the whole showdown at Will's place. He hasn't even answered Nancy's calls._

_Did you ever think that maybe he just wants to be left alone for a while?_

_Hey Max, took you long enough._

They can't see each other... but Max rolls her eyes at Mike's caustic tone.

_Sorry guys, Billy was being a dick. He made me do the dishes and clean up the kitchen._

They all let out collective groans at the mention of Max's older brother who'd been an eternal pain in their asses since moving to Hawkins. Lately he'd left them alone... after the whole fight with Steve. But that didn't mean that Max had escaped his angsty teenage wrath.

 _Ugh, your stepbrother is such a tool._

_Thanks Dustin, but we already knew that._

_Never hurts to hear it again._

That's Lucas and they all grunt in eager agreement. Bill Hargrove was a mean guy who beat up their babysitter and attacked Lucas for no reason. He was a thorn in their side. But he wasn't the topic up for discussion at the moment. No. It was Steve.

 _Seriously guys, what are we gonna do?_

_I don't know Dustin. Maybe do like Max says and give him some space? He was actually a relatively independent teenager before he joined our party._

That's Will and he's had the most sound logic of all of them ever since this little conspiring started. They all groan in envy at the boy's ability to be so smart about everything and Will snickers proudly into his walkie. 

_Okay, but I say we still write a letter and mail it to him so that he knows we're still here._

Dustin sounds so hopeful that they all agree. 

 

...................

_"Daddy!"_

"Fuck yeah bitch!" Matt grunts out harshly as he pistons his hips against Steve's ass. His fingers are digging painfully into the boy's soft hips, and he's got Steve on his knees, face-down, back arched, ass up. This isn't abnormal for the two of them on a weekday- a _school_ day. Matt usually just comes over when he wants to, fucks Steve when and _how_ he wants to and then leaves. And depending on his mood, he either forces Steve to do lines of coke with him or just smoke a roll-on together. 

Right now, Steve's nose has a smudge of that pure white powder on it and a little trickle of blood because he got nosebleeds from snorting. But neither Steve nor Matt cares at the moment though. They're both way too high to care and because he'd snorted more than Matt, Steve's endorphins and chemicals are all out of wack. He can barely function right now to think rationally so he just stays there face down while Matt plows him from the back. 

"Jesus Christ your ass feels so good on my cock!" The older boy groans, mounting Steve higher, shoving deeper into the wasted brunette. Steve whimpers into his pillow, tears and blood rubbing off into the pillowcase. His wrists have burn marks on them from when Matt had tied him to the bed. They got a little adventurous after a few snorts so that was nothing new. But Steve's entire body is on fire from burns and bruises and he always bleeds or ends up a little raw _down there_ because Matt's never gentle with him. But he can't feel a damn thing because of all the coke in his system. 

"Fucking hell Steve- such a good boy for Daddy!" 

Steve's pleasured wail is suddenly cut off by his phone ringing on the bedside table beside them. Matt hisses and bites at his ear before slapping his hand from reaching out.

"I've gotta-" Steve chokes out but Matt shoves him harder into the pillow, yanking his hand roughly out of reach. He cries out as the much stronger boy manhandles him harder into the bed, hips thrusting violently against his ass now. He doesn't want Steve anywhere _near_ that phone when they're like this. 

"This is the third fucking time that phone's rung now. Who the fuck is calling you?" He snarls into Steve's ear, sliding fingers into the beautiful brunette tresses and yanking Steve's head back. The boy cries out in pain but Matt doesn't care. He's pissed off at whoever the _fuck_ thought it was wise to be blowing up Steve's phone while he was busy taking cock like the good whore he was. Somewhere in the back of his head he thinks it's Joey from the party. Or some other guy because he doesn't fully trust Steve to keep his legs closed when he's not around. 

"Gonna fuckin- cum- fuck!" Matt growls before blowing his load deep inside Steve's pretty little abused ass. No warning. And no permission- either asked for or granted. That's just how sex is with Matt because Steve's way too fucked out- _too high_ , to care. The pretty-eyed brunette is passed out before Matt gets a chance to pull out, so he stays inside just a little while longer, indulging in the feeling of shoving his seed deeper into the gorgeous body underneath him. 

Steve Harrington was _his._ No one else gave Matt much power over them like Steve did. Like a lost little puppy that just needed direction and the proper master to give him those directions. When he'd started hanging out with the boy, he could tell that something had been broken in him and that he was lost. A little nudge in the right direction and suddenly Steve was under his thumb. Matt dragged Steve to every party in the neighborhood and spent the boy's money like it was nothing, on booze and blow. The drugs was most of the reason why he kept Steve around. But beautiful, naive little Steve didn't need to know that. He was just too broken to see how Matt was using him. Steve just wanted to be loved... and he craved validation, and attention- the neediest bitch Matt had ever been with. 

And he'd be damned if anyone ever tried to take the boy away from him. 

 

..................

_"You still think we should write a letter?_

_Well, I don't know._

_I'm pretty sure Steve doesn't hate you Dustin._

_Yeah, okay. Later guys. Ugh.... okay, over and out."_

Billy frowns as he presses his ear to Max's door. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop on the kid, he just meant to call her because he'd just finished making them lunch- mac and cheese, his personal favorite. But then he heard her talk about Harrington and well, something about that peaked his interest. Which is why he should've been paying more attention-

"What are you doing? We're you spying on me?" Max demands, her face growing red as her hair as he steps away guiltily from her door. 

"Was just gonna tell you lunch is ready." He scowls defensively, following close on her heels as they head to the living room to eat. Max flops down on the couch next to him and begrudgingly accepts the plate he hands her. They're still butting heads with each other but it's not as bad as before. Billy's calmed down a great deal ever since he apologized to her and her friends and Max has promised to tell him every time she plans on sneaking out. He'd gotten into trouble with Neil for that and although he never revealed that his father had smacked him, Max understood that she'd gotten him in deep waters and had apologized. It was relatively good in the Hargrove house after that. 

The T.V. is on but neither of them is paying attention to it. The sound of forks scraping softly across ceramic plates is the only thing between them. Billy's never been one for subtlety so he just decides- _fuck it._

"So what were you guys planning with _Steve Harrington?"_ He mumbles around a mouthful of food. Max grimaces at him and shakes her head, turning to focus on her plate.

"Nothing." She replies under her breath and he immediately knows why she's lying. It's all spelled out on her face. 

"Nothing? C'mon, I heard you planning some stupid shit with the other dweebs." Billy shoots back a bit too earnestly for his taste but whatever it is Max and her friends were doing, he wanted to know. He had his reasons. 

"Why do you care?" 

He sighs. "Because Max, whether I care or not, Harrington's on the team and he's been... a bit _off_ lately. If you guys know something-" 

"Wait- so you've noticed too?" She exclaims, damn near jumping off the couch in excitement. Billy has to back away a bit in surprise. 

"Well, yeah. He's been distracted lately. And a lot more agitated and _anal_ than usual. It's messing up the team and I haven't told him yet, but... the Coach wants to bench him for the rest of the season." He reveals a bit secretively even though they were home alone. God- now he feels like one of Max's little dweeb friends. 

"Oh crap, that sounds bad." Max winces, setting her plate down on the table. Her face is pulled into a severe expression.

"I suggested that we give him some space so that's what we all agreed on. But Dustin wants to write him a letter. Billy! You _have_ to help us help him." She suddenly gasps, blue green eyes staring him down. Billy scrunches up his face at her. 

"What- with- ... _how?"_ He demands, frowning at her, perplexed. 

_Perplexed was just the beginning._

A few hours later, Billy found himself surrounded by a group of nerds discussing one of the weirdest topics of his life; _Steve Harrington._ What struck him was how everyone in the group seemed to genuinely care about the pretty boy. They all talked highly of him and he saw the shining determination in their eyes to help the seemingly troubled boy. Dustin entrusted him with a letter, to give to Steve whenever next he saw him. And he'd promised to do that at practice the next day. 

He just hoped Steve was in a good mood to take the letter and not reject it because that would totally crush the nerds. 

Then he thought...

 _When the hell did I start caring?_

 

****

Innocent, soft-brown doe-eyes blink up at him, a soft smile on Steve's excruciatingly pretty face as he sits on the bench in nothing but a fluffy white towel. His hair is wet and dark, falling gracefully into his face, making hist skin seem paler somehow. Billy can make out the dark purple bruises on the boy's neck and chest; and there's a reddened bite mark right above his left nipple. Someone's been loving Steve _good_ and Billy had an idea who. Matt hadn't been back to school yet ever since their fight at the party, but Billy guesses that the older boy has been able to get Steve into bed regardless of his injuries. Which only made him feel stupid for even trying to defend Steve's honour. But he sighs anyway- today's run-in with Harrington was not about Matt. 

"Uh... hey." He starts off- so not cool- but Steve greets him with an incredibly soft smile that has him reeling back like he's been slapped. 

_Just last week the boy had been snarling at him to stay away!_

"Hey." Steve murmurs easily, with a dopey look on his face. 

Something about him looks _too chill._

"Err-- the kids... told me to give you this. They said that they... miss you and hope you're okay." He mutters pulling out the letter that's been encased in a dark blue envelope and sealed with a Pac-man sticker. Steve's face falters a bit and he reaches out a shaky hand to accept the letter. His eyes look dark and wet now but Billy doesn't make a big deal out of it. 

The soft, "Thank you" that Steve whispers to him seems all too real and... heartfelt so he doesn't reply. Just simply nods his head and leaves the boy to himself. 

_Something was seriously wrong with Steve Harrington._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep.......


	4. I've Had My Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve reunites with his kids. He's pissed off because Billy's their friend now. Matt's on a dangerous high.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Headache induced chapter

I've Had My Doubts 

 

_"Steve,_

_If you hadn't already guessed, it's Dustin. And the rest of the nerds. We haven't exactly spoken or spent time together in a while and i just wanted you to know that, we miss you- all of us- and we hope that you're okay. D &D hasn't been the same without you, neither has movie night and although she never says it, Nancy misses you too. My Mom hopes you're doing fine and Will's mom wants to have a "family" dinner with all of us soon. Hopper's just about ready to get a warrant for your arrest just to get you to come see everyone. If our constant calls are anything to go by- we miss you. And we don't want to just show up at your house unannounced but- hey, I will if I have to. I miss having an older brother around. _

_Love,_

_Dustin, Will, Lucas, Max and Mike (and everyone else in our miscreant band we call a family)_

Steve doesn't know he's crying until pearly, shining teardrops drip-drop onto the thin notebook paper, soaking it and blurring the blue inked words that rested there like silent missiles cutting into his heart. He isn't sure why he's getting _this_ emotional over some letter by a bunch of kids who he'd only befriended a few months ago. All he'd done really, was help them find a demodog and then burn the hub- he didn't really think those little deeds merited a long-term friendship. 

If he was being honest with himself, Steve would admit to himself that three-quarters of the reason why he'd extricated himself from the kids was because that whole deal had been the result of his relationship with Nancy Wheeler. If he hadn't cared about her so much, he would've never gone to Jonathan's house and he would've never known that there were actual monsters living in Hawkins. 

Ergo, he would've never allowed himself to continue on with the illusion of their relationship for a _whole year._

It wasn't the fact that Nancy had blamed him for Barb's death that made him angry or sad... or a mixture of both. No. It was the mere thought of being madly in love with someone for over a year and giving his all to her only to realise that she hadn't felt the same way at all. 

_Ever._

That kind of betrayal left him cold and empty and devoid of any sense of self-worth. Steve couldn't find his way after that whole Mind Flayer incident and every day that followed felt like he was treading dark, murky waters that sucked him into abyssal zones that he couldn't come out from. In the end, his nightmares always ended with him drowning and dying alone at the bottom of his pool. _The very same pool, Barb had died in._ Those days were the hardest to get up from and Steve would rather deal with it alone than drag Dustin and his friends into his mess. They didn't deserve that. 

Luckily, he'd struck a chord with Matthew Danielson a few months ago. And the older boy provided him with some type of escape. The kind that started with laughter and alcohol induced grinning and ended with a rush of endorphins and a sore body that showed evidence of care, love and attention. Matt showed him what it was to fall crazy into love again, and act like a stupid teenager again. He helped him to forget his woes and when times got especially hard, Matt was there to make him forget. Called him the "best he's ever had" and made him feel like the sexiest person on the planet. Steve fed off of that kind of attention. 

_Craved it like a drug._

But now... it seemed like that drug was wearing off.... And reality was slowly catching up with him.

By running and hiding inside the fortress that was Matt, Steve had severed ties with the people that he had come to care about the most. The people who had fought with him and saved the world with him. The boy he'd taken under his wing- _I miss having an older brother around._ That particular line hit him the hardest. Because he knew that Dustin absolutely _adored_ him. And took everything he said to heart. Then there was Mike, who'd let him into their little group after he secretly confessed that he preferred Steve to Jonathan. It had been totally sweet at the time but looking back on it now, Steve was just glad that he'd been accepted into the party. Will looked at him like he'd hung the moon and the stars and he and Lucas had shared the most unique bond of all. He showed Lucas how to drive a manual, even if he was learning for automatic and Lucas had sort of seen him as a hero after standing up to Billy for him. And where there was Billy involved, he couldn't forget Maxine. Max had been a late introduction to the party but he could see immediately why she fit right in. And after that night at the Byers, she had told him something that stuck with him until now. She'd told him how she wished he was her older brother... and not Billy. 

Something about all the kids looking up to him as if he was this great person made him feel awfully emotional. And he knew then that he couldn't just keep avoiding them-

"Matt?" 

Steve splutters a bit as he opens the front door to reveal his boyfriend, who's got a six pack in his hand and his backpack in the other. The tall blonde shoots him a dazzling grin before pushing past him, into the house. Matt drops everything onto the couch and wastes no time dragging Steve into his arms, pinning him against the door, with his large hands shoving into Steve's jeans. His mouth plunders Steve's soft lips, biting them hungrily and earning a soft squeak from the brunette. 

"Hey baby, where d'you think you're going?" Matt leers as they break apart for air. 

"Just- mm, just going to pick up Dustin and his friends." Steve tries to get out quickly while the taller boy tugs on his lip. His hands push up against Matt's broad, ripped chest, trying to push him away but Matt lifts Steve up by the thighs like he weighs nothing. His back slams against the door as the other boy starts grinding their crotches together. 

"Matt- sto- _Matt!"_ He chokes out, finally squirreling himself out of the strong hold, almost slipping to the floor in the process. He's breathing hard from the exertion of fighting the bigger guy off. Matt takes a cocky step back before regarding him suspiciously with narrowed eyes. 

"The _kids?_ Oh for crying out loud Steve, you're not their parents!" 

Steve flinches at the harsh tone but shakes his head defiantly. 

"Please Matt, I'm already late. I promise I'll be back in a minute." He pleads, already slipping on his jacket and grabbing up his car keys. 

"Fine, fuck you." Matt grumbles, flipping him off before heading up to his bedroom. Steve just rolls his eyes and dashes out the door;

...the letter lying forgotten and open on his bed. 

 

...................

When Steve pulls up to the parking lot at Hawkins Middle school, the scene that greets him instantly incenses and confuses him at the same time. The familiar group of kids- _his kids-_ are happily filing into a _very familiar_ blue Camaro. His brows furrow severely as he puts his own car into park and steps out. Billy's back is turned to him- he's sneering something at Mike- but Dustin sees him first. And the brilliant smile of surprise and shock that spreads on the boy's face forces Steve's feeling of uneasiness into the background- and suddenly everything else doesn't matter. 

"Steve!" 

_Oof!_

A fuzzy ball of energy collides into his stomach and he has to step back in reflex to keep himself from falling. Small but strong arms wrap tightly around him, squeezing his bruised ribs hard. After that, a bunch of cannonball kids just swarm him, barreling him over while Billy turns around sharply- mouth still open from whatever he was arguing with Mike about. Their eyes meet for a brief second before Dustin gets in his face, punching him hard in the shoulder. 

"Where the hell have you been?!"

"Steve's alive!" 

"I missed you!" 

"What the hell Steve?!" 

Steve takes everything in stride, suddenly feeling whole again at the familiarity and grounding he feels when he's around people he cares about. It's amazing and he's about to cry so he shakes his head and just laughs to play off the wetness springing to his eyes. 

"Hey guys, I missed you to- Dustin, quit punching me!" 

He rubs his ribs where there's a tender bruise in the shape of Matt's fist under his pastel pink polo. It hurts like a bitch but he doesn't give anything away. 

"Are you okay?" Max asks curiously, her clear eyes trying to read his face in the same way her stepbrother does and it's somewhat unnerving. 

"I'm fine." He shrugs nonchalantly, slipping his hands into the pockets of his loose fitting blue jeans. 

"Are you sure you're okay? You weren't answering my phone calls and I didn't know if you were alive or if a dem-" 

Dustin's on a rampage until he nearly lets the word "demodog" slip and they all sort of turn sharply to Billy who's standing a few feet away, eyeing them cautiously. As if on cue the blue-eyed boy looks away, opting to light up a cigarette instead while he waits. Steve shakes his head and looks away.

"No, trust me, it wasn't anything like that. If it were, you guys would be the first to know." He answers honestly and Dustin lets out a huge sigh of relief. 

"So... you're not mad at us or anything?" Will mutters quietly from the back of the group, his face a mix of happy and sad emotions. It instantly crushes Steve and he pulls the boy into a small hug, ruffling his hair.

"No- it's got nothing to do with any of you guys... I just- needed some time to myself." 

Their puzzled faces looks back at him cautiously and he feels his cheeks become heated.

"So then, what was it? If it wasn't us..." Mike presses and Steve winces as he looks at the boy, remembering Nancy. It's a sour, bitter pill to swallow as he realises that he could never truly escape her. It was a daunting thought. 

"Nothing. I'm fine. Just dealing with school stuff guys, nothing serious. I'm okay, seriously. But I do feel terrible that you guys had to send a letter to get to me." He chuckles nervously, scratching the back of his head.

"Well, we missed you moderating our D&D nights. It's always more fun when you're there." Dustin admits, the bright grin he's had since seeing Steve plastered on his chubby face. 

"Yeah, especially when you're clueless and we have to explain _everything_ to you." Lucas chips in, the teasing tone in his voice a refreshing sound. 

"Glad to hear you missed my stupidity." Steve deadpans, elbowing Lucas playfully. 

"That and you losing every campaign." Mike adds and they're all laughing and bright eyed and _for once_ everything is right in the world. He doesn't feel any pressure in the back of his mind or in his heart; no pounding, throbbing mess in his head and his stomach doesn't twist up uncomfortably with anxiety. He isn't coldsweating and he doesn't feel as if he's about to pass out. Jesus, he's missed these kids. 

"By the way, _what_ is up with _that?"_ He mutters quietly, gesturing at Billy with his chin. Hargrove is leaning against the side of his car, staring off into the distance, the yellow evening sun glowing through his blonde curls. He almost looks... peaceful in that setting. A thin billow of grey smoke slithers wispy near him. They all grin at him sheepishly. 

"Well, you were out of commission and he apologized and we needed a ride home." Dustin spills, Lucas nodding vehemently behind him.

"We didn't have a choice. Jonathan was at work and Will's mom was busy so Max asked Billy. Hey, in our defense, we were out of options and he was the _last_ resort." Dustin argues defensively as Steve raises and unimpressed brow at him.

"He's been getting better. Y'know, working on being nicer to people." Max mutters, looking a bit defensive herself. It was appalling and amusing to see them try to find redeemable qualities in one, Billy Hargrove. Like they were fetching for good stuff and had to scrape the bottom of a very murky barrel. 

 

"Oh, I- wait, he _apologised?_ " He has to backtrack on what he'd just heard. Billy Hargrove making amends? That was unheard of. Because for Steve, the guy was still a total dick. Looking for fights with things that didn't concern him- like Afernee's party. And interfering with beef that he and Tommy could have settled by themselves. He was still a fucking thorn in Steve's side so to hear him making good with the little dipshits- _his little dipshits_ rubbed Steve the wrong way. He could feel his hackles raise and his attitude turn sour and he has to bite his lip to keep from cursing.

He sighs tiredly instead.

"So, do you guys still need a ride home? Or is Billy already taking you?" 

Dustin scoffs and snorts obnoxiously loud. 

"Are you kidding me? I'm going with you." 

There's a scramble and suddenly they're all fighting for shotgun in Steve's BMW. Max shakes her head and rolls her eyes but not before giving him a sincere hug.

"Glad you're back." She mumbles, waving goodbye to the guys and climbing into the Camaro. Billy refocuses his attention to them and immediately his eyes meet and lock with Steve's. They're walking up to each other casually, as if some invisible force is pulling them together, and all Steve wants to do is run the other way. Billy had a terrible habit of seeming like he could hear and see all of what was inside Steve's head. It was disconcerting to say the least. 

"Guess I'm off the hook." Billy says easily, taking one last strong drag before dropping his cigarette to the ground and smashing it under his heel. 

"Guess you are." Steve levels at the other boy with a hard edge to his voice.

"Y'know, it wasn't enough that you took my place at school, and my spot on the team- you just _had_ to take my kids too." 

The confused frown Billy sends him with the shake of his head is laced with innocent amusement at first. Then something akin to realisation flits across his ocean blue eyes when he sees how serious Steve is and he shakes his head, looking away with a soft chuckle. 

" _Your kids?_ I think you're takin this babysitting job a bit too seriously Harrington."

Steve takes a threatening step forward. 

Billy doesn't move an inch.

"I'm serious."

"I was just giving them a ride home. No need to get so defensive." Billy sneers, that jerkish part of him coming back in full swing with Steve's presence. It was like Steve was a _magnet_ for bad behaviour. Steve fixes him with a deadly glare, lips curled back and his nose scrunched angrily. It almost looks as if they're about to have it out right there in the school's parking lot- the kids are all looking on curiously. 

...but then Billy scoffs quietly and walks away from Steve with a shake of his head and a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. 

 

...................

The house is eerily quiet as Steve steps past the threshold, keys in hand. He's still smiling warmly at the memory of dropping the kids home. He recalls their genuine smiles and happiness as they animatedly discussed plans with him for the rest of the week. They d even made plans for the weekend but Steve wasn't sure of what he could commit to. Telling them he was fine when he really wasn't was a bad move. But he didn't ever want them thinking he couldn't hold his own. They practically worshipped him so being weak was a terrible look for him. At least, it was outside of closed doors. 

_Behind them_ was a different story.

There is smoke coming from his room and a hellish orange glow dancing against the walls like everything was on fire. 

"Matt!" He yells and bursts into the room to see his boyfriend standing over his metal trashbin with a lighter in his hands and a no emotions on his face. His eyes are devoid of any sort of feeling and he just looks up at Steve with an ugly sneer on his face. 

"What the hell are you doing?!" Steve's in hysterics looking around the room for water to put out the fire. He finds a glass on his bedside table and doused the flames into he bin until there's nothing but blackened paper lying at the bottom. His eyes catch sight of a half-singed blue envelope and he gasps.

"No!" 

He drops to his knees and digs through the burnt mess to find soiled pieces of the kids' letter to him. 

"Why the hell did you do that?" He cries, tears springing to his eyes.

Matt grabs him by the wrists and hauls him off the floor with one rough yank. He grunts hard as his back collides with the wall and pain reverberates from the back of his skull. His vision blurs for a second. 

"You said you'd be back soon." Matt scathes, breaths panting and harsh in his ear. He tries to push off the wall and push the taller, bigger boy away but ends up getting a punch to the temple. The impact floors him and he has to shake his head to get his bearings for a few seconds. 

"Matt- wait-!" He gasps as a swift kick lands into his ribs. 

"These kids don't love as much as I do. And I deserve more of your time than they do! Don't fucking play me Steve!" Matt bellows and Steve's heart races at how _angry_ the boy sounds. He's never been this mean before; his eyes are vacant and there's a smudge of white on his nose. He's fucking high as a kite. 

"Please-" Steve whispers, eyes finally settling on the pile of white on his work desk, a few rolled up dollar bills lying next to it. 

"Baby- stop, you're-... you're fucking high right now. Don't do this-" He stammers actually shrieking as large hands grip and pull on his hair, bringing him face to face with Matt who does t even seem to be listening to him. He smacks Steve and the action itself is _mean_ and meant to hurt. His lower lip is busted- he can feel it. His tongue is caught between his teeth and it cuts on the sharp edge, blood dripping from his mouth. 

"I'm the only one you need bitch! You hear me?! I'm the one who brought you back from feeling sorry for yourself! You're nothing without me!" 

Every word is screamed into his ear making his head throb. The room is spinning and he feels his stomach hurl. 

"I- I'm sor- sorry.." He tries to placate but Matt isn't having any of it. He drags the smaller boy by his neck, over to the table with the coke. A strong knee jams into the small of Steve's back, knocking the breath out of him. His rapidly swelling eyes see Matt's fingers rolling a dollar bill haphazardly. Jesus no! He doesn't want to do that right now!

"No! Matt- stop.. please!" He sobs feeling Matt shove the rolled paper in his face. 

"Fucking snort it, bitch." 

The elbow that comes down on the back of his neck makes him comply in a heartbeat. The powder burns in his nostril like acid as he inhales deeply, choking out a wet cough. Something hot runs thickly down his nose and he doesn't have to look to know it's blood. 

_"I own you, slut."_

It's the last thing he hears before passing out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep


	5. But It's Just The Price I Pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy doesn't know what Steve means to him. Or why he cares so much. Steve is a passive participant in his own life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jesus this fic is creeping.... :(

But It's Just The Price I Pay 

 

It's bleary and agonizing when he blinks open his eyes slowly. Well- his _eye._ His left eye is a swollen, throbbing, purple mess and the other one is just barely open. His face hurts; from his cheekbones to his lips, the bridge of his nose to his forehead. When he tries to move he feels the uncomfortable pull of his skin under a thick coat of dried blood. Some of it cakes thickly under his nose, making it hard to breathe. When his fingers brush over the surface, white dust comes off on his fingertips and suddenly he feels sick. His stomach twists and he throws up right there on the floor. His mother is going to murder him for messing up his carpet but that's the last thing on his mind right now. His throat burns as nothing but bile comes up, past his lips, from his nostrils. It feels worse than the worst hangover he's ever had. 

His room is dark. The curtains are drawn and there's no light coming from anywhere. It's also eerily quiet; so much so that his tiny pants of pain and groans echo loudly in the small space. His clothes are off- he now recognizes, feeling a cold draft of air whisper unforgivingly over his bare skin. The carpet scrapes roughly on his stomach, the pressure immense on his bruised and aching ribs. His ass hurts like a bitch and it's only when he reaches behind himself to check, he realises that he's bruised raw down there. He and Matt probably fucked like animals in their cocaine-induced high, Matt taking his pleasure without giving him much as always. He's a... complex boyfriend. 

Regardless of the fact though, it doesn't make Steve feel any better about his current state. He whimpers, trying to get up, his knees shaking with the effort. A stabbing pain slashes his lower back and he gasps out loud. A tear slips out of his bruised eye and it burns for a while. He gets to his feet- it's a task to stay there- the room is a spinning, black mess. A lancing pain throbs through his skull and he feels his stomach twist again. _How much time had passed? And where the hell was Matthew?_ He catches sight of a small smear of dust on his work desk and frowns hard at it. The coke was _gone._

All of it, gone. 

He couldn't remember what day it was, much less how much they'd snorted but he knows somewhere in the back of his mind that Matt had brought over a good bit. At least five grams. Jesus fuck, he was slipping off the rails. _Fast._ Coke was something Matt had introduced him to- the result of a drunken night full of tears and Matt fucking him gently for the first time. The morning after, Steve had woken up to the older boy snorting the white powder with a bill and a razor in hand. It took a while bit after some coaxing, he'd gotten Steve to try it. The first time was bliss- both the drugs _and_ the sex. 

The second time was Steve in a begging fit- he'd seen Nancy kissing Jonathan in the parking lot that day. Matt didn't have any on him, so Steve had raided his father's drawer for money and bought some on his own. The older guy was impressed and Steve liked how he praised him for being such a good boy. A couple of snorts later and he'd forgotten all about them.... and _her._

It wasn't an addiction. He didn't feel the need for it every other day. He never actively went out looking for cocaine. But when he got his hands on some, he definitely didn't let it go to waste. Alcohol was more his pick of poison. It wasn't as damning as coke but it sure fucked him up on a good day. Matt was the addict. And when it got bad... it got _bad._ He'd always heard of Matt's temper and he'd seen bits of it here amd there- like at Kyle Afernee's party. But last night had been an eye opener. He put his hands on Steve a few times before- a bitch slap here, a few punches there. None of the bruises remained though. After a while they'd disappear and then everything would be okay. 

_But after last night... Steve wasn't okay._

He steps into the shower carefully, chest constricted, with only his pathetic sobs for company.

 

.................

 

The crisp squeaking of fresh kicks dig into the newly waxed floor of the gym, echoing loudly in the large space. The team is high on energy today and the coach looks pleased as he monitors the guys running laps and completing drills like a perfectly well-oiled machine. They're all fit and in shape, with determined fires in their eyes. The team captain looks good, corraling his teammates to push through practice. Billy's already drenched in sweat, his blonde hair matting to the back of his neck from the wetness as he runs around the court for the tenth time. He's looking around the gym- the coach thinks he's being a good captain- but he's really looking for a certain brunette. 

No luck. 

Steve's been MIA for an entire week now, missing at least ten hours of practice that were necessary for their big game in the next two months. Billy wouldn't be as worried as he currently is if he hadn't been alerted by Max to the fact that Steve had started avoiding them again. She'd told him the day before that Dustin had tried calling again but there was no answer. They d even skipped school once and had gone to Harrington's residence only to find the doors all locked and the curtains drawn. Steve's car was nowhere to be seen. 

The thing is, Billy had seen Steve's car. It was parked in Steve's regular spot, three spots away from Billy's own Camaro, but Steve himself was nowhere to be seen. Matt had returned though, much to his chagrin and he'd fallen back into the team's old banter as if nothing had happened. His nose still looked a bit crooked from where Billy's fist had smashed it and the Cali boy felt some satisfaction in that. Matt was a total asshole- not that Billy wasn't one- but Matt was on another level. Billy wasn't stupid or naive; he'd seen the dude _floor_ Steve at that party. 

"Hargrove, get your head in the game!" Mitchell Flanagan hollers at him as the ball bounces right past him and into the hands of his opponent's. He blinks quickly and shakes his head, trying to do as Mitchell said. He's on shirts today- sadly- while Matt's on skins. It's a rarity that he's ever playing in shirts but so 've they're down one man- aka Steve Harrington, he figures anything can happen. He chases after Tyler, who's got the ball but the pursuit fails and Tyler sinks the point. 

_"Shit!"_ He hisses to himself, hands on his knees as he stops to catch his breath. A jeering snicker erupts from behind him. 

"What's the matter Hargrove? Can't keep up with the pros?" Matt taunts, dribbling the ball in a circle around him before shooting another point. The coach's whistle bellows for a timeout. Billy's not a pussy. He's not going to back down. 

"Pros? Last time I checked I played b-ball in Cali with the _real ones._ But good try Danielson." He shoots back, eyes steely as they burn into Matt's green ones. There are annoying ooh's in the background from Ryan and the others but he ignores it. 

"Don't get your panties in a twist Billy. Just having some fun. Ever heard of that?" Matt chuckles easily, launching the ball at him. He catches it with his speedy reflexes that beat back any form from the rest of the team. He's not faded.

"Alright ladies, hit the showers. Practice is over." Coach Bell calls from the sidelines. 

Their banter unfortunately, is not. 

Matt continues prodding and jabbing at him with derogatory remarks and jokes that any Neanderthal without a brain would laugh at. Tyler's hollering so... case in point. But Billy just shakes his head. Matt's game is child's play; he's a veteran when it comes to antagonizing. 

"You were good today. Guess that beatdown I gave you last time had you compensating. Good game." He snorts humorlessly while slipping on his jeans, his white t-shirt just hanging off his neck. 

"You caught me with my back turned. Trust me Hargrove, if we agreed to a fair fight you'd lose." Matt sneers, his face dropping into a more serious glare as he buttons up his shirt from across the bench. Billy can make out finger nail scratches down his pecs before the material covers it up. 

"I'm up for a fight any day. But, I don't fight fair." Billy intones, putting on his t-shirt. 

"Is that right?" 

"Yeah. Especially when it's against a guy taking advantage of someone way smaller than him." 

The rest of the team is littered around the locker room, some paying close attention to the war of words while others just get ready, minding their own business. Matt growls low in his throat at Billy's cocky grin. 

"It's not advantage if the bitch deserves it." 

The way he refers to Steve flares a fire in Billy's stomach that disorients him for a second, wondering why it made him pissed. He doesn't particularly like Steve, doesn't even know the guy. Certainly doesn't want to know him, but he doesn't hate him either. And call him a hypocrite but seeing Steve collapse under Matt's heavy fist that night had forced some kind of protective instinct onto him. One that he didn't want... or one that he didn't know what to do with. One thing was for sure though; he hated Matt's guts with a passion.

"Harrington's a big boy Billy, he can handle a few punches." Matt says after Billy doesn't respond for a while. 

"I don't care how much of a _big boy_ you think he is. Find a punching bag instead." 

Suddenly Matt is standing beside him, muttering under his breath so that no one else can hear what he's saying. 

"Seriously Hargrove, what is your big fascination with my boy? Huh? You want in on that piece of ass? Don't be shy, you're not the first guy to ask me for a taste."

"You're sick." Billy growls, slamming his locker and rounding on the taller boy. Matt laughs in his face. 

"No, I'm not. I can see it. You like Steve. Don't you?" 

"Sure, I like him well enough. I just don't like you. At all." Billy answers smoothly, his eyes unblinking and his voice steady and low. He props his arm up on the lockers next to them and stares Matt _down._

"You know what I find interesting? You driving his car when he hasn't showed up a _day_ for the past week. What's up with that huh?" 

Matt's cocky grin vanishes and he's suddenly emotionless. Staring at Billy like a stone statue with blank eyes. He looks a bit pissed off now and Billy feels satisfaction for having rattled his cage. 

"I'm gonna tell you one last time, stay out of my business Hargrove. That includes Steve." 

 

......................

As if on cue, Steve does return the next week, looking pale, exhausted and thinner than he was before. There is faded bruising around his eyes that looks suspiciously like he'd been in a fight. And his hair isn't styled; it's just casually flopping on his head, over his face and into his eyes like dead, wet fronds as he struggles to keep up with the rest of the team. His knees knock together as he stumbles after Billy, fingers just grazing the ball before the other boy sinks a three-pointer. The rest of his team cheers but Billy feels no glee in stealing that score from Steve. 

The guy can barely stand on his feet much less make a basket. 

Matt isn't there today, for some unknown reason but Steve is. And he looks terrible. Billy can see it in his pretty doe-eyes. He's _worn._ His tiny green shorts hikes up his thighs as he plays on, revealing deep purple bruising on his pale skin. Some look like hickies and the others just look like old fashioned belt bruises. As if someone had whipped him there. Billy tries his damnest not to think of Matt hurting the boy again but he can't help it. Because he _does_ see it in his mind. He does see Steve crying and faltering under Matt's brutal fists. And the images burn his retinas. 

"Harrington! Take 5!" 

The sharp blow of the Coach's whistle breaks him out of his thoughts and he watches distractedly as Steve frowns at the man before limping off to the locker room. Everyone else continues playing but Billy can't focus. He's got Harrington on his mind and the thought is just as annoying as the boy. _When the hell did Steve's welfare become his problem?_ Wanting to win the championships was a lame ass excuse. He didn't want to win that bad. If he did, he would've asked the coach to replace Steve with one of the extras. But no. Instead he'd begged the coach to give the boy chance after chance and every time he did, Steve just went ahead and proved exactly why he didn't deserve to be on the team. 

"Hargrove, Steve is sloppier than usual today." Bell says, walking up to him, clipboard in hand. Billy stares at the man for a few seconds, dumbfounded. 

"He just- ....he's... going through some stuff." He tries and immediately curses himself for sounding so stupid. He's run out of excuses for Steve and he knows it. And coach Bell knows it. 

"Earlier he couldn't even give me ten laps. And he almost tripped and broke his ankle a few minutes ago. I've got a standby on the list who's been really impressive lately. He works really well with you."

"Who, Stan? Oh- come on coach. Stan's a good player but-" Billy starts to gripe but Bell shakes his head, sighing heavily.

"We're running out of time. I can't count on Harrington for a win or a pass or anything. I wish I could give him the benefit of the doubt but-" 

Billy's been expecting this. 

"Let me talk to him. Just gimme a second." 

He doesn't wait for the Coach to say anything again as he rushes off to the locker room. The first room he passes is empty, but he'd been expecting that. Steve's locker is usually closer to the showers. A few more brisk steps again and-

 _"...-says you like it like that. Why don't you show me huh? Show me what a good bitch you are."_

Ryan has Steve pinned to the wall by his neck, long fingers wrapped tightly around the smaller boy's throat. His other hand is gripping the hem of Steve's shorts, pulling it up, higher on his thigh, exposing more suspicious bruises. Ryan shoves his crotch harder into Steve's and the brunette whimpers out softly. Steve's hands are fisted in Ryan's shirt, pushing weakly against him but Ryan's way stronger than him at the moment. 

_"C'mon gorgeous. He said you'd like it."_ The slimy bastard hisses in Steve's ear making him turn his face the other way. 

"Get off of him." 

Billy doesn't even know how his voice dropped so low. He just knows that there's a fire in his gut so big, it might just come out of his fist and end up in Ryan's face. His jaw is clenched tight as Ryan blanches and backs away from Steve, no doubt more concerned that he'd been caught trying to... violate Steve. Billy takes a dangerous step forward and Ryan immediately takes two steps back. 

"Get out." 

He's gone before Billy could say anything else, leaving Steve panting weakly with a spooked look in his big, dark eyes, lithe body still pressed up against the wall. His chest is heaving as he swallows. _He's scared._ Trembling hands reach down to tug his shorts lower, cheeks coral from being so exposed. What kills Billy, is the fact that Steve looks more ashamed than Ryan, when it should've been the other way around. He goes to step closer but Steve flinches hard, stopping him in his tracks. 

"S- ...sorry." He mutters dumbly as fresh tears slide down Steve's pale cheeks. The boy just shakes his head, wiping furiously at his face.

"It's nothing." He chokes out, sniffling as he hurriedly starts to pack up his gym bag. 

"Steve." Billy says gently but Steve bursts into tears like he'd shouted it at him. Billy freezes, not knowing what to do in that moment while Steve breaks down, on his knees next to the bench as he tries his best to pack his bag. He keeps his sobs silent and just sniffles through it, pulling hard on the zip. It won't budge. He keeps tugging frustratedly now, little grunts of anger escaping him.

"Here." Billy murmurs softly, reaching down to unstick the zipper. The metal teeth are all unaligned but that could easily be fixed. What Billy doesn't anticipate is his own hands coming over Steve's smaller ones, holding them in his firm grasp and realigning the zipper. Steve doesn't dare say a word as both of their hands travel up the length of the bag until it's closed tight. Billy's fingers burn against Steve's skin and he quickly pulls away. It's hard to keep up the cool and collected look when he's secretly freaking out on the inside. It takes him a while to notice Steve's still on the floor.

"Shit- c'mon buddy, up you go." He mutters mostly to himself as Steve is damn near catatonic. He grips steve under the arms and pulls him up. The boy just gets to his feet like a robot, eyes wide and scared and unblinking. Billy didn't expect anything else. He _must_ be traumatized after what happened. What he doesn't expect is Steve to just crash into him, face buried in his chest as more sobs wrack his frail body. It throws him for a curve and for a minute he just stands there stock still, letting Steve cry into his shirt. 

And maybe he should've just pushed the boy away. Right then, he should've shoved him against the lockers and cuss him out for being so damn weak. Because Billy Hargrove _did not_ have feelings for Steve Harrington! Hell no. He just felt sorry for the guy! _This,_ was too much. Steve goes stiff against his body as he realizes what he's done- almost as if he can hear Billy's thoughts and he quickly shoves Billy away from him. 

"Leave me alone." Steve mutters tiredly before grabbing up his bag and running out of the locker room. 

Billy remains there in a state of shock and uncertainty, the memory of Steve's body against his, a hauntingly sweet one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meow.....


	6. No Way to Take It All Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Steve hasn't been doing so well. Billy doesn't know why he cares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapo

No Way to Take It All Back 

 

Steve spends the rest of the week lying curled up in bed, crying and drying his tears, tissues all around him, spilling onto the floor. He doesn't have the energy to go to his classes where he'll be ridiculed and forced to face further scrutiny anyway. He's scrubbed his body a total of five times already and yet he can't seem to shake the feeling of Ryan touching him and _pressing_ up against his body. The ghost of the other boy's touch crawls like a bug under his skin that keeps crawling and won't get out. He falls asleep abruptly and snaps wide awake a few seconds after because creepy aliens and pretty girls making a fool of him haunt his dreams. They create nightmares in his head that he can't seem to escape and it makes him physically sick that he can't seem to get a grip. 

His eyes droop closed for a few minutes and he sees nothing but blue jeans, a white shirt and long blonde waves. It's bliss for a moment and he can _breathe_ again. Sparkling, ocean blue eyes stare softly back at him and he blinks in pleasant surprise. He _knows_ that face, those eyes, those luscious lips. _Billy Hargrove, no doubt._ In his dreams, he doesn't shy away from the mesmerizing Californian boy. No. Unlike all those times in the locker room, Steve _runs_ to him, arms outstretched, fingers grasping, searching for a lifeline. In Billy, he finds a kindred spirit who understands him. And doesn't punish him for who he is. He has no idea why he feels that way about the very same person who smashed a plate over his head and left him concussed for weeks. He just knows _how_ he feels when Billy's near him, or talking to him... or _touching_ him. 

He goes over the memory in his head as if it's on repeat. That time in the locker rooms when Ryan had- ... _he can't- won't think about that!_ But Billy had come out of nowhere and had saved him. And then he did the one thing Matt _never_ did; understand. He was pretty sure if Matt had walked in on that scene, the older boy would've punched both of their lights out. Then again, Matt was also the kind to share his food- so to speak. Steve can't recall how many of Matt's friends that have come up to him looking for a rough romp in the sheets, revealing that Matt was the one who gave them permission. But he knows that Matt's always tried to play it off as a joke. 

Steve never found it funny. 

But Billy- when he walked into that room, he looked _pissed_ and his eyes were hooded and his lips drawn up in a snarl. He looked like he cared and for some reason that puzzled Steve to no end. It was no secret that he'd been the target of Billy's aggression ever since the guy moved to Hawkins. They had a rocky history... no matter how short it was. It was rocky and full of pent up anger and envy and- look, Billy _didn't like him!_ And the feeling was mutual... even if Steve secretly wished they could've been friends at least. 

They weren't. 

So why the hell was he being so nice? 

 

......................

A few days later, they found Ryan beaten up with a broken nose and a bloody mouth. Billy was as nonchalant as ever when they found the boy trudging hauntedly down the hall with his shoulders hunched in and his bag strapped tight on his right shoulder. He's looking warily at everyone out of one bruised eye- the other one is swollen shut with a fractured socket that's been recently repaired. Tommy was absolutely thrilled at the idea of Ryan getting his ass beat- thinking that it was because Ryan stole someone's girl- but Billy knew better and he scoffed at Ryan's discomfort as Tommy and Tyler gawked in stupid awe at the boy's rearranged face.

"Hey Hargrove, thought you were the coolest but I guess Ryan takes the cake for that one." Mitchell jokes, typical locker room banter as they start down the hall towards History class. 

Swinging his one strap over his shoulder, the boy just grins and locks eyes with Ryan who quickly looks away.

"I guess he does. Congratulations on your... _battle scars."_ He admits easily, knowing that Ryan is currently _quaking_ in his shoes. The look is enough to make the guy scamper down the hallways, bumping into other students as he rushes by. Tommy and the others take off after him- the completely opposite way to their class. Billy doesn't follow, too tired of their ignorant simplicity. Ryan looked bad.... terrible. But he had it coming. 

That had happened a few days ago, but the memory was still fresh in his mind and goddamn he'd be lying if he didn't say it made him smile a bit. Ryan was at the 7/11 out on Brisbane- an even smaller town just a few miles off of Hawkins. He'd been leaning up against his car, shoving something hastily into his pocket as another man walked briskly away. Billy had rolled hisbeyes then at how obvious they made it look. What else would they be doing? If he were a cop they'd already be so fucking busted. He remembers revving up his Camaro as he pulls into the space right next to Ryan's Ford, the guy paling as he notices him. 

Everything was short and sweet after Billy got out of his car.

"We're gonna have a little chat." He'd said, practically dragging Ryan off to the side of the building. 

"Look man- wait! What the hell-!" 

Ryan's protests don't bother him none. 

"Been meaning to talk to you for a while, but you scampered out of that locker room so fast..." Billy taunted as Ryan loses his shit.

"I already apologized!" The boy cried out but it doesn't matter. He slams him against the wall.

"I'm gonna tell you this _once_ Graves, so listen up. But before that, I'm curious."

A small struggle and then Ryan concedes.

"Where the hell did you get the idea that it was okay to rape Steve Harrington? Hmm? _Answer me before I snap your arm three different ways in three different places!"_

"The hell man- I didn't _rape_ him!" Ryan cries out as Billy twists his right arm at an awkward angle, his face pressed into the stony wall of the building, cracked and peeling paint coming off on his cheek. 

"Left to your own devices you _would've._ So tell me! Cos I heard you man. You said _he_ said it was okay to do it. Who's he? Matt?" Billy pushes, snarling in Ryan's face now. 

"Yes dammit! Jesus! Matt said Steve was a whore and he'd take anything from anyone with his permission! Wasn't my fault-"

Billy grabs Ryan by the hair and smashes his face into the solid wall. Ryan screams and blood sprays against the white surface, bright red and looking like airbrushed art. The satisfaction Billy feels is _immense._ But it's nothing close to the anger boiling in his gut. He's fucking _livid._

"So you asked Matt to what? Fuck Steve? Huh?"

"Yes- fucking- you broke my no-"

 _"I don't fucking care."_ Billy scathes into Ryan's ear, turning him around and punching him a total of three times in the face- which is already a bloody mess. 

"You actually walked up to a guy and asked to fuck his boyfriend... and the sleaze said yes. You're twisted Graves. You and Danielson. Fucking sick." He growls planting a swift fist into the guy's temple, bringing him to his knees. He sees the opportunity and he takes it without hesitation. It's a low blow but Billy wants to make sure that Ryan doesn't use his dick for a while. His shoe fits perfectly between Ryan's legs, making him gasp out in pain before collapsing on his side, hands clutched over his jewels. He takes a step back- assessing the damages with an indulgent smile. But the smile doesn't reach his eyes as he leans down over the sleaze, his voice deathly serious.

"You ever touch him again, I'll put you in a wheelchair for the rest of your life." 

****

Back in the present, Billy blinks slowly, the memory dissolving in the back of his mind as he takes out his notebook. Steve's chair is empty, _again._ He feels a twinge in his chest and sighs, not used to all these feelings that just batter him when it comes to Harrington. It seemed that lately, his head's been filled with nothing but thoughts of the beautiful brunette. He thinks of Steve's tiny body squirming under Ryan's and it makes him angry and sick. He thinks about Steve's little smile when he gave him the letter from the kids. The soft "thank you" the boy had muttered from those soft, pink lips. He thinks of dark, chestnut hair fluttering gracefully in the wind. And when he goes to sleep at night, big, soft brown, doe-eyes haunt his dreams. 

"Steve Harrington?" 

Billy blinks fast. 

Oh.

That's just Mrs Keller doing roll call. He watches as the woman glances up at Steve's desk and shakes her head in disappointment at the empty space. She writes something in a notebook on her desk and Billy frowns. What was that about? Keller goes on to teach her class; Continuity and Change in 18th century Europe. Billy hated this class with a passion. He tries to suffer through it with minimal participation and funny doodles in his book as he waits impatiently for the clock to strike two. 

When it does, Billy quickly packs up his things but waits for everyone to file out. Keller is still at her desk shuffling papers and stacking books as he walks up to her.

"Hey beautiful." He grins, much like the Billy of old. Thirty-two year old Victoria Keller narrows her green eyes up at him and purses her lips. Unimpressed.

"What do you want Mr Hargrove?" She drawls tiredly. He hikes his bag higher up on his shoulder and gets down to business.

"I saw you write something in your book when you saw that Steve wasn't here." He mutters gesturing at her black and white notebook. She glanced down at it as well and sighs.

"And?" 

"W- ...and, what was it? Is he gonna get in trouble?" Billy presses, cheeks inflamed as she eyes him suspiciously.

"Well, your classmate has been absent for a total of three days. Consecutively. And that's just this week. I know his home situation isn't ideal but he still has to attend his classes." 

"Wait- what about his home situation?" Billy cuts in, curiosity at 9000. She blinks at him, looking regretful that she'd said anything.

"Crap. Look Billy, this isn't information I'm supposed to be revealing to random students. What I can tell you, is that if Steve doesn't start attending classes regularly and doing his assignments, then I'm going to have to bar him from examinations." 

Billy blanches.

"But that means he won't be able to graduate." 

_Why the hell do you care so much?!_

Keller sighs heavily. "Yes. I don't want to do it but, I've held out for as long as I can. I'm going to have to inform the Principal." 

"Wait no-!" 

She raises a perfectly done brow at him. 

"I can help him. I'll get all the assignments to him and I'll make sure he comes to his classes and everything.."

_You'll do what now?!_

Damn his subconscious was a bitch.

_You're the bitch, bitch._

"Shut up." He mutters to himself.

"Excuse me?" Keller intones sternly and he quickly shakes his head. 

"No- ...nothing! Please Mrs Keller, before you go to the Principal."

 _Hmm, please and Mrs Keller? You must really like this Steven._

That was his subconscious being a little bitch again.

Keller sighs, resting her chin thoughtfully on her intertwined fingers, elbows propped up on her desk. She could go either way here. 

"Okay Mr Hargrove." She finally says and Billy's eyes widen at her.

"I don't want to fail him and you're one of my best students, despite the fact that you have zero capacity for tact and poise... fine. I'm giving you three weeks to help Mr Harrington. Three and if there is improvement, I'll keep this to myself. But, if there isn't... well, my hands are tied." 

Billy nearly kisses her but restrains himself. 

_Tact and poise, Hargrove._

"Thank you. You're a real angel y'know that?" 

The look she sends him has him chuckling, his hands up in mock defense. She rolls her eyes and starts pulling out papers and files for him to share with Steve. He can hear his subconscious being a _major_ bitch while he waits.

_So concerned for poor, darling little Steven. Aww, Billy-boy, you've gone soft. How cute._

Fucking subconscious Billy was even more of a dick than conscious Billy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep


	7. I'm Just The Girl Next Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes to Steve's house. He should've known this wouldn't be easy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drug induced chapter

I'm Just The Girl Next Door 

 

Steve couldn't suppress the big, stupid yawn that escapes his jaws as he lies sprawled out on his belly, sleepily swiping at his eyes. The bed feels soft under him, and the blanket feels snuggly and fuzzy around his legs and his pillow is just warm enough. The sun is gone even though it's only 4:47PM; but the clouds cover the sky, thick and grey and the rain is pounding on every available surface outside. The loud drops pelt against his window panes and his curtains aren't drawn so the the dreary rainy state outside casts a perfect greyscale in his room, making everything seem black and white, with a bluish tinge. 

It's been a few days since he's last spoken to Matt. Danielson is out of town for a couple of weeks with his parents. Texas; his family felt like a vacation so they just packed up in the middle of the week and left. Matt hadn't even discussed the move with Steve. He'd just left and then called after a few days from San Antonio. Steve was upset for a while but after his last beating, he was afraid to argue with Matt about anything. So he'd just kept his mouth shut and wished his _boyfriend_ a happy vacation. Matt's vacation also coincided with Ryan's advances. Of course Matt would let Ryan fuck him because at least like that, he knew no one else could get with Steve. That made him angry too but, again, he didn't want another bruised rib. 

He hears a knocking at his front door from all the way downstairs and his head perks up from the soft mountain of pillows and blankets. Who the hell would be at his house in this weather? At the sound of another round of insistent knocking, Steve scrambles on all fours off the bed and onto the carpet and rushes downstairs.

"Hold on!" He yells at the door, glaring at it as if it's doing all the knocking. His limp has gotten a bit better lately but that doesn't mean his legs don't twinge a little when he walks or runs. He's damaged goods; _mentally and physically._

The door swings open and....

.....he's shocked to say the least. 

Dumbfounded at best. 

_What the hell was he doing here?_

"B- ...Billy?" 

"Hey Harr- ... _nice shorts."_ The blonde replies with a wolfish grin, blue eyes glowing silver in the grey rainfall. It's almost breathtaking. 

Billy's standing before him, in dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt and his hair is all wet and curly like noodles. _Completely gorgeous._ But Steve doesn't dwell on the fact too much. He notices Billy's bag, which means that he'd been at school. There's a stack of books in the boy's hands and Steve is just confused. He frowns at Hargrove and looks down at himself to realize he's got on nothing but a tiny pair of soft, baby pink cotton shorts. He hasn't been alive enough lately to do the laundry so he's been wearing what's at the bottom of his closet. Just his luck that his arch-nemesis is the one to see him in the frigging thing.

_Fuck!_

"Wh- what're you doing here?" He mumbles, blushing profusely, hands trying and failing to cover up his modesty. He's also aware of Billy's attentive eyes on his bare chest and his nipples start to tingle- he'd like to blame that on the coldness from the rain. Billy seems to shake himself out of staring and glances at the rain all around him. 

"You mind letting me in man? I'm fucking freezing and it's wet out here- and these are heavy." He grunts gesturing at the stack of books in his arms. Steve hesitates for a second before quickly stepping aside and letting Billy trudge right in, leaving watery footprints across the pale green and white tile. Steve quickly closes the door and grabs a mop, soaking up the water as Billy surrenders the books on the couch. 

He turns around, his wet hair dripping down the back of his t-shirt but he doesn't notice. He's too busy eyeing Steve's body while the boy mops and grumbles cutely to himself. He doesn't know where the attraction comes from- he's never had a thing for guys. Or Steve, more specifically. Billy should've known Steve would be pale _all over._ From his feet to those _long,_ Bambi legs- that are smooth, creamy and hairless by the way. Billy suspected Matt had something to do with that, but he isn't complaining. Makes Steve look like a gorgeous model. Then he's got those little, _pink_ shorts that cut too high on his thighs. Jesus, half of his ass cheeks are out on display for Billy's roaming eyes. His chest is pale too; lacks any sort of tanning contours that makes him just look soft and waxy and _beautiful._

"Billy-" 

"Hmm?" He has to blink a couple times to shake himself out of his reverie. He quickly looks away, wondering if it's too late and if Steve had already caught him staring. 

"Why are you here?" Steve asks timidly, pulling on a fluffy, white robe over his half-naked form. Where the hell did that come from? Billy shrugs a bit robotically, hands slipping into the pockets of his jeans. He has to remind himself that he and Steve have possibly the most rocky relationship in the history of relationships. So, he can't slip up and go all care-bear-Billy on the boy. 

_No matter how much his bitchy subconscious says he wants to._

"Got assigned to be your tutor. As per Keller's request." He answers gruffly, taking a seat on the couch next to his books and bag. 

Steve's still standing there awkwardly.

_Jesus, how uncomfortable can a person look in their own house?_

"Tutor? I- ...I don't need a tutor." The pretty brunette protests in the most passive way possible. Billy scoffs at it and shakes his head.

"She begs to differ- and honestly, I'm gonna have to agree with her. I mean, 36% in History and a fail in English? I'd say remedial sums it up quite nicely." 

He fucking _sees_ the moment Steve's face crumples at his harsh words and he immediately regrets taking the aggressive approach. Soft brown eyes blink sadly at him as Steve shakes his head, running a nervous hand through his hair. 

"Th- ...that c... can't be right." 

"Afraid it is. You would know that though, if you were actually attending classes. Look, I'm not here to inspire you to be a good student or whatever, Harrington. I'm just here to keep you from being barred from exams." He sighs, as Steve takes a cautious seat on the couch opposite him. Steve looks absolutely devastated now but he masks it with a thin veil of frustration. 

"How can I be barred? I've gotten B's in everything else. I mean they may be minuses but-" 

Billy cuts off Steve's loud thinking.

"I don't think it's about the grades really. Keller made it sound more about the attendance... or lack thereof." He explains and it's not cruel or meant to be nasty. It's something to make the boy feel better about the situation. Billy sighs and looks Steve in the eye. 

"Har- ...Steve, ...look, if you're scared to come back because of Ryan-"

"Don't!" Steve bites out harshly and Billy only flinches a little. Steve quickly looks down into his clasped hands in his lap, chewing on his lower lip nervously. There is that look of abject shame and humiliation on the pretty boy's face again and it makes Billy sick. 

Makes him want to mess up Ryan's face _all over again._

Makes him want to go over there and... he doesn't know- _comfort_ the boy. Hold him? Tell him that everything's going to be okay. That there's nothing to worry about as long as Billy's around. But he restrains himself as Steve pants quietly on the couch, head in his hands,skin pale. 

"You don't have to worry about him bothering you anymore. I took care of it." He finally mutters, flinching hard as Steve's head snaps up to look at him with widened, doe-eyes, his hair flopping into his face.

" _You took care of it?_ What- did you- do?" 

"What d'you think?" Billy scoffs, shaking his head at Steve's naivety. Sometimes it was adorable and other times, it was just plain stupid. What else was Steve expecting? 

"Well, I guess you haven't changed, Huh? Not really. Still beating people up, still a bully." Steve has the _gall_ to say to him and he instantly flares.

"What I did to you was wrong. And I'm sorry for that. Believe me Steve I am. But Ryan? He had that coming. I mean- you didn't actually expect me to let him get away with that, right?" 

Steve scoffs again and Billy wants to kiss that fucking look off his fa-

_Slap!_

He meant slap! 

_Yeah, sure you did._

Oh Jesus, not you again!

_Yep, it's me old friend._

We're not friends!

_Don't get your panties in a twist, I'm just calling it like I see it. You want to do the same to him just like Ryan did._

Shut up!

_Admit it; you want to spread his legs open and fuck up what's in between those perky cheeks. You're no different than Ryan._

I said shut up! 

_Haha, you're hilarious Hargrove. I can't blame you though. He does have a completely fuckable body. And that pretty face? I bet he sucks cock like a pro._

Christ. 

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me Billy. I didnt need your help that time. And I didn't need it before that. And I can take care of Ryan by myself." Steve insists, a little growl escaping him. 

Jesus this boy was the bane of Billy's life in Hawkins!

"So if I hadn't shown up, you would've been able to push him away. Huh? You could've fought him before he ripped your clothes off and raped you in the locker room? Is that it?" Billy presses, heart clenching as Steve winces at his harsh tone. He's sure the words hurt more though. He's glad. He _meant_ for them to hurt.

"Why do you _care?_ Steve mutters weakly at him, staring him down hard. His pink lips are pulled into a severe pout and he looks like he's on the verge of crying like a little kid who's just been told that they can't have candy or whatever. It's endearing and goddamnit Billy can't _stand_ Steve when he's like this. So fucking adorable and sweet and beautiful and-

_When the fuck did you fall in love with Steve Harrington?_

This time, he has no answer for the voice inside his head. He sits there, blinking dumbly at Steve, his jaw working, grinding quietly as the tension builds between them. 

It's not love if you want to punch his lights out, is his late response. The voice only cackles harder.

_It is when you want to punch his lights out and then hold him close to your chest._

Fuck. 

Billy shoots up from the couch, hands on his hips, scoffing and shaking his head at Steve who backs up a little bit, a scared look etched permanently on his face it seemed.

Jesus Christ this boy was frustrating! 

"I don't. Care." He admits with a stuttered sigh. It's the worst lie he's ever told. 

"Then wh- ...why are you here?" Steve whispers, looking down at the carpet, his voice wavy with emotion and his eyes glistening. Billy can tell the boy is trying his damnest to hold in tears; he feels it in his fucking chest and it's hard to breathe for a second. 

"Look I just don't want you failing school to be on my conscience." He grumbles unreasonably. 

"Why would my failing school be on your conscience?" Steve frowns and Jesus Billy just wants to hold him and shake him. _Hard._

"Jesus Christ Harrington would you just stop?! Geez, it's like you're- .... you're... just ughhh!!!" 

It's the most incoherent and stupid Billy's ever sounded in his entire goddamn life and he wants to strangle Steve for it. God this boy made him crazy! He told Steve as much.

"Yeah well, you're not the only one who feels that way about me." Steve chuckles humorlessly, an abject sadness in his faraway eyes. Billy immediately feels terrible for saying it and he shakes his head.

"I don't.... I don't actually feel that way Harrington I- don't actually want to strangle you. But goddamn, you make me _crazy."_

They stay in silence for a while, Billy standing and staring down at Steve and then everywhere else around his mansion of a house; and Steve just sitting there in a dejected heap with his fingers nervously twisting together. It's awkward- as it should be. Steve just wants to run back to his bed and bury himself in the sheets. Wants Billy to leave and never talk to him about this again. He also knows that has failing. And that he needs this. Fuck, why did it have to be Billy though? 

"If you think I make you crazy now, just wait until you start tutoring me." He finally mutters with a hint of humour that has Billy's blue eyes lighting up at him. The boy's lips quirk up slightly and he drops his tense stance, shaking his head with a small gurgle of a laugh. 

"I'm always up for a challenge." 

 

...................

 

They're on Steve's bed, oddly enough. And Billy doesn't want to ruin the moment but it just feels fucking weird sitting there with his legs crossed- Steve just next to him on his stomach, ankles twined together, focusing hard on a paragraph of text from a notebook. He's got a pencil in his mouth, chewing it softly while reading the extract. His dark lashes brush across his cheekbones as his gaze lowers and the smooth cut of his jaw ticks every now and then. There's a fading bruise on his jugular and Billy hates the feeling of envy he feels towards Matt in that instant. 

"Okay, I'm done." Steve finally announces proudly, as Billy pulls the pencil out of his mouth. 

"Stop chewing my pencil Harrington." He grumbles, wiping Steve's spit off on his jeans. Steve snorts at him and stuffs his hand in the bowl of popcorn in between them. 

"Okay, so what did you get from reading Metternich's view on the Congress of Vienna?" 

Steve screws his nose up at Billy and shrugs. 

"I dunno. He sounded like he needed to get laid." 

"Oh for cry- Is that what you're gonna write in the essay?" Billy demands tiredly, scrubbing his fingers over his eyes. They've been at this for just over an hour now and all Steve's been able to do is write one decent introduction. 

"I told you I wasn't good at this stuff." Steve mumbles sadly, his face planting into the mattress frustratedly. 

Billy's stern glare softens and he sighs, shoving the books a little distance away. He gazes at the back of Steve's head, eyes following the waves of his beautiful, dark hair, and the nape of his neck that's littered with fading bruises. Jesus, did Matt _have_ to mark his territory so.... violently? He wants to put his own mouth on the skin there and suck his own brand into it. He lets his eyes wander lower to the boy's back, the wispy white jersey he's got on riding up a bit, revealing the pale, smooth small of his back where there are dimples. Billy wants to rub his thumbs into them. He's still got on those fucking tiny pink shorts and his ass looks damn good in them. But the blue blanket covers up most of it. 

"It's okay dude." He forces himself to say, closing the text quietly. 

"We can take a break and work on English in five. How does that sound? Hmm?" 

Steve's head raises up from the mattress and he grins brightly at him. 

"Okay." 

Billy rolls his eyes, almost leaning back against Steve's pillows but then holding himself back. He and Matt probably screwed in this bed. Fuck, he was probably on Matt's side, seeing as Steve was so comfortable on his end of the bed. He wrinkles his nose at Steve.

"What?" The boy asks innocently, shoving the bowl of popcorn closer to Billy. 

"D'you guys fuck on this bed?" He demands crassly and almost laughs out right as Steve balks. The brunette quickly scrambles up from his relaxed position and sits with his legs tucked neatly under him. 

"Th- ...that's none of your business Hargrove." He snaps and it's almost dizzying, the sudden shift in emotion.

"Hey, I need to know, because if you do, then we can take this to the dining table or somewhere that hasn't been... _tainted_ by that loser." Billy pushes, quickly sliding off the bed and standing with his arms crossed as he looks down at Steve expectantly. There's a pink blush adorning Steve's pretty face as he looks down into his lap.

Jesus this was uncomfortable. 

_You're making it uncomfortable._

Fuck, I thought you were dead, he tells the voice in his head.

_Nope, still very much alive and kicking._

Why are you tormenting me?

_Why are you tormenting the pretty bitch? You know he damn well gets fucked and bred on this bed. It's got newly converted virgin all over it._

Matt does not _breed_ Steve. Don't be disgusting. 

_Oh, believe me he does. There aren't any condoms in this room. I know you've noticed._

So he probably just jacks off on Steve's belly or his face or something. 

_You see the ass on that boy? Believe me Billiam, he seeds that thing good._

"Okay fine, we... we've done stuff on here. But, that was weeks ago, I've changed the sheets since then." Steve mumbles, his cheeks red as Billy shudders looking as if he's breaking out of his own thoughts. 

"You're sure." Billy grouses as he sits back down on the bed, looking a little heated under the collar now. Steve thinks it's because of the subject that they're on. Bit it's really because Billy can't get the image of Steve being fucked raw and bred by a thick cock out of his head. He could just imagine the pretty boy crying out in ecstasy as he pounds into him. Could see Steve, the morning after, walking with a limp and thighs glistening with _his_ cum. 

_Yep, you wanna fuck the boy._

"Of course I'm sure. I'm not some kind of savage that sleeps in his own soiled sheets. Who do you think I am?" Steve mumbles cutely, eyes staring hard into his English notebook. 

But you sleep full of someone else's cum don't you?- Is what he wants to say. But he stops himself from doing so. 

_You are so screwed Hargrove._

"I know." He mutters, answering the voice in his head more than Steve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't do drugs kids


	8. I'm Gonna Make It Bend and Break

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy's quickly falling for Steve and he's not quite sure how to feel about that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Been a while... got an extension on an essay and I started this last night  
> ....

I'm Gonna Make It Bend and Break

"Do I really need all of this? I mean it's just one test." 

"Damnit Harrington, yes you need all of it! It's three essays in two hours, each worth twenty-five marks- don't give me that look man..." 

"What _look?"_

"Like you're constipated or something. You know the work- it's all in that huge head of yours. All you have to do is write it." 

"I'm not _constipated-_ you take that back!" 

"Really?" 

"Look- I know I know the work. I just don't think I really need all these damn pens." 

_"Oh for crying out lo-"_

Quite a funny way to start his morning, Steve had to admit. 

Billy Hargrove sending him off to the exam room with a stack of file pages and about fifty pens- that all looked _new_ by the way. It was weird for sure. Just last week the two had been fighting and throwing words at each other on the court, Billy always seeming to have the upper hand in every confrontation. But now, in the past two weeks, things had calmed down considerably. Steve was grateful for that, even if he didn't show it. He guessed they both owed the momentary peace to Mrs Keller. 

To his utter surprise, Billy had actually been a decent teacher. Things started off tense the first few days and most of that Steve blamed on himself. He hadn't gotten used to the constant presence of another guy staying with him at home, especially in his room since Matt went on vacation with his family. And Billy's rough, jilted attitude hadn't helped either. They'd sit on Steve's bed for hours calculating equations and drawing up graphs, practicing expositions and arguments, all the while Billy kept a safe distance from him, grunting out the answers to questions Steve had asked shyly. 

Steve couldn't _blame_ Billy for treating him like that. He'd been just as jilted, if not cautious. Whenever Billy moved too fast or reached close to him for a pen or a book, he'd flinch hard. And if Billy noticed, he didn't say anything. Which only left Steve feeling more dumb. So he'd grunt back harshly at the blonde, grumbling at him whenever he pointed out a mistake. 

_"You forgot to open out your brackets."_ The blonde would mutter. And Steve would yell back at him in embarrassment,

_"Jesus- I know! Could you just let me do it on my own?!"_

Fast forward to three days later and they'd both gotten over their petty barely matured rivalry over a couple of beers and a small "sorry for yelling at you" from Steve to which Billy had immediately replied, "It's cool, you got it. I shouldn'tve pushed you." Call it divine intervention or magic or whatever, but after that small moment of civility, they'd both quashed the stupid conflict and decided to focus on getting Steve ready for his exams. Steve still couldn't understand why Billy wanted to help him though but, he wasn't one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He knew he needed Billy's help, And Billy knew it too. 

"Hey Steve." 

Steve blinks quickly, breaking out of his reverie to acknowledge the person who'd just spoken to him. 

_Nancy Wheeler._

Jesus, they hadn't spoken to each other since that whole Mind Flayer thing. He remembers telling her that it was 'okay' that she'd practically cheated on him with Jonathan and feeling utterly defeated when he went home that night. She was the reason he'd ended up in bed with Matt. 

"Okay class, I want silence. Your question papers are on your desk. The time is 10:00, you finish at 12. Good luck." Mrs Keller announced, her eyes raking across Steve, stopping on him for a minute before looking at the rest of the class. 

Steve sighs and picks up one of the million pens Billy had stocked him with.

 

..................

 

Billy swore he wasn't lingering outside Keller's class room waiting for Steve. 

At least that's what he told himself. 

Anyone else would call bullshit and call it for what it was. Billy was waiting for Steve to walk out that room hopefully with a smile on his stupid face. Billy didn't want all of his efforts to go to waste. 

_You sure about that?_

Oh fuck, not you again.

_You bet your sweet ass it's me again Billiam._

What d'you want asshole? 

_How about some answers noodle curl?_

Answers? ....and who the fuck are you calling noodle curl? You're not even real!

Billy's never felt so insulted by the voice in his head in his entire life.

_If I'm not real, why are you still answering me. Who's really the crazy one, hmm?_

Oh for fucks sake, would you just shut up and leave me alone! Billy retorts, his attention perking up as the door opens to reveal a student. It's not Steve and he deflates visibly. 

_Aww, that's sweet. You're worried for him aren't you?_

No.

 _No? Are you sure?_

Jesus don't you ever take a rest. Leave me alone!

_So you're not gonna be worried when he comes out of that room sniffling like a baby trying to hold in tears because the exam was hard? Because he knows he failed? Again?_

Alright y'know what- 

"Oh- sorry I'm s-" 

There's a sharp pause when the person who bumped into him looks up from her books and meets his deep blue gaze. 

Nancy Wheeler. The chick who broke Steve's heart and ran off with freak Byers. 

Of course it would be unfair of him to reduce her to just that. He didn't know her, nor did he know the circumstances under which she left Steve. And that was none of his business. But she did cheat on the guy, so... there was that. The whole school heard about the break up and somehow Steve had become the brunt of the joke... and not Wheeler. Billy's best guess was that a lot of the other guys had been anticipating and hoping for Steve's downfall so that they could run the school. Guess Nancy helped them with that. 

"Billy." She grunts out curtly. Her ice blue eyes glint at him in a sort of intimidating way but she doesn't say anything else. He figures she's still mad about the whole showdown at the Byers. 

_Of course she is. You attacked her brother's friends and beat her not-so-boyfriend to a bloody pulp._

Would you please shut the hell up?

"Wheeler." He intones, bending down on one knee to retrieve the books that had fallen from her hands. 

"Th- thanks." She mutters slowly, eyeing him suspiciously as she accepts the stack of books, ice blue eyes piercing ocean bay blues. 

"No problem." He replies, clearing his throat uncomfortably, shoving his hands into his pockets trying to feign nonchalance. 

For a minute, she looks indecisive, as if she wants to say something more but also wants to run away while she's doing it. Billy hasn't got the time for empty conversations that could very well turn into nasty arguments and he's pretty sure she's still pissed at him so he resumes his position of leaning against the wall just outside Steve's class room. His attentions turn to the opposite side, away from her, where Carol and her friends are giggling and talking down some of his teammates. Tommy's also there grinning like an idiot. 

"Y'know Mike told me you apologized to him and his friends." 

He turns his head to see that Nancy's still standing there awkwardly, thumb tapping away nervously on the books in her hands. She continues when he remains silent. 

"And... I- ...I saw you talking to Steve earlier this morning." 

"And what?" He finally sighs, not one for beating around the bush. 

She blinks at him for a few minutes, lips slightly parted, her eyes wide. 

"And... I dunno, you didn't seem to be fighting with each other." 

He scoffs. "Well we're not exactly camping buddies now but, we can be civil." 

That earns him a short, humorless chuckle from her, but a chuckle nonetheless. 

"That's... that sounds great. He could use a friend right now." She mutters almost to herself. He hears it anyway. And suddenly everything becomes much clearer. 

He sighs heavily. 

"Look Wheeler, I know what you're trying to do. But you can't validate cheating on the guy by trying to get me to strike up a friendship with him just to make you feel good about yourself. This isn't my business." 

Her pretty blue eyes widen by the time he's done and her cheeks are red with hot embarrassment. He almost feels bad for her and goes to apologize but the words don't come out. Because he's right and he knows it. Whatever happened between Steve and Nancy was not his business. He was just trying to help the guy graduate. 

_Yeah right._

Shut up you!

Nancy doesn't say a word as she turns on her heels and walks down the hall with her head down. Billy feels a bit bad for reality checking her like that but he brushes it off. The girl needed to talk to Steve about whatever was still on her conscience. 

 

*** 

 

Steve practically bounces out of the room as the clock strikes twelve... just as Nancy retreats down the hall. He startles Billy who'd been looking in the other direction.

"Hey! You- ... you waited for me?" The brunette swallows, positively vibrating as he approaches Billy. 

"Took you long enough. I just wanted to see the paper." Billy grunts all tough and stern but Steve sees through it. He's just as nervous as he is, Steve realizes as Billy snatches the question paper out of his clutch. He watches as blue eyes scan the paper a total of six times. The silence and lack of reaction makes Steve's anxiety kick up to 100. 

"Well? What d'you think?" He pushes, tip-toeing from behind Billy to peer at the paper over the boy's shoulder.

"Jesus calm down, gimme a sec." Billy grouses, eyes still riveted on the paper whilst simultaneously trying to shrug Steve off of him. 

"Yeah, this was a good paper." 

"Look, I put down all the points I had to argue right there!" Steve informs, pointing excitedly to where his chicken-scratch is scrawled in blue ink under each question. Billy has to brush him off again like an over-excited puppy but he hears the laughter erupt from his chest and it's the purest he's ever felt to giddiness since coming to Hawkins High. It's only then he realizes that he and Steve are huddled together in the hallway over a test paper, Steve squealing happily as Billy confirms all the answers that he'd written down. 

"I told you U.S Foreign Policy was going to come." 

"You did, didn't you?" Steve reminisces gently, wistfully. It catches Billy off-guard, how genuine Steve sounds. Makes his chest constrict a bit. 

_Told you, you're getting soft._

Billy quickly clears his throat at the sobering thought and pushes Steve away, holding him at armslength. 

"Okay, okay. Calm down Harrington, Jesus." He mutters, shoving the paper into Steve's chest. He misses the way Steve's face falters slightly but the brunette quickly masks it. To say that he's hurt by Billy pushing him away would be a bit overdramatic but he can't help but feel sad at how quickly Billy realized that Steve had gotten too close. Just like everyone else lately, Billy seemed to need that distance from him. But, he figured, it _was_ his burden to bear. It was his own fault that he'd become Hawkins' hottest piece of garbage. 

He shrugs it all off with a soft smile, taking the paper and folding it neatly into a small square. 

Billy's already walking down the hall.

"See you at practice!" Steve calls after him, smiling even as Billy ignores him. 

 

.........................

 

After his terrible performance at the onset of the season, Steve had been benched indefinitely by Coach Bell. It didn't really come as a huge surprise to him, he _knows_ why his play had been crappy in the past few months. Matt had gotten Steve caught up in his drugs and it had affected him. Bad. Not to mention the constant berating and the... abuse. Steve _hated_ calling it that. 

It was more like, Matt's anger going out of control... and Steve being in the way at the time. It's not like Matt _wanted_ to hurt him. He'd been Steve's saviour ever since Nancy and he should be grateful. He _was_ grateful. Just... sometimes he acted like a brat and Matt would have to put him in his place. He could understand that. 

In any case, Steve was grateful he'd been benched because he couldn't bear the thought of having his medical records show evidence of cocaine abuse. He had no idea how Matt was able to carry on playing so confidently while doing drugs but he guessed the guy's money talked. Not that Steve didn't have money but, his parents wouldn't dare waste a dime on him if he ever got caught. Matters aside, Steve was still required to sit on the sidelines and help out wherever and whenever he was needed- part of Bell's sporting disciplinary programme.

"Come on guys! More speed! I need more energy from you ladies!" Bell hollered across the court, the guys already fifteen minutes into the game.

Tommy's side is shirts- thank God- while Billy's on skins, as per usual. Steve's eyes follow the agile movements of Hargrove's body, gracefully sliding across the court, shooting baskets as he went. The others had _nothing_ on him. Sweat dropped in glistening streams down his naked torso, looking like Adonis as he sank another three-pointer. He high-fived Tony Norris in celebration and earned a sharp praise from the coach. Steve feels a slight twinge of sadness and longing as he remembers being the star of the team not too long ago. 

"Alright boys take five!" 

Steve straightens up from his slouching position on the bench as Bell gestures towards the cooler. 

Oh right. 

He's supposed to be on cooler duty- handing out bottles of high-octane, fruit water to his _teammates._

Sighing he gets up and sticks his hand in the cooler filled with ice and drinks. He doesn't dare look up at the guys he's serving because he's not exactly proud of being their servant. His pride is spectacularly damaged and he can't stand the jeering looks Tommy passes him. 

"Thanks Harrington. Maybe you should become a waiter after you graduate." Tyler cackles, snatching the green drink from Steve's hand. 

" _If_ he graduates." Tommy mutters under his breath. 

Steve just sighs, ignoring them as he continues to pass them their water and whatever else. It kills him, the embarrassment. But he'd be damned if he lets Tommy and Tyler get to him. Or Donovan or Randy or Adam. The whole fucking team is poking fun at him now. And he tries hard to think of something pleasant. Billy's still on the court talking to Bell, so at least he doesn't have to listen to the blonde slander him for a while. He thinks of moving out of Hawkins and taking up residence in some other quiet town where nobody knows his name or just how worthless he really is. It's depressing yet oddly fulfilling... thinking of a life far away from here. 

"Hey Steve, where's Matt? You got him on lockdown?" Andy chuckles, swallowing down about half his bottle in one gulp. 

Steve scoffs quietly. 

"Heard you're a real whiny bitch." Donovan taunts, wicked and amused sneer on his face. 

"Oh he _is,_ isn't he?"

Steve rolls his eyes at them, playing with the crushed pieces of ice in the cooler. Bell is still talking to Billy on the court, so he's easy pickings for the guys gathered at the benches. He just wants to crawl into a hole and die. He wants Matt to come and take him away from this torture and embarrassment. It's hell walking the hallways and the gym by himself. He's never felt so isolated before. 

Guesses it's because he's always been King Steve. 

But one blue-eyed, brown haired girl and a slimy petal faced monster ruined all of that. 

A skeleton is all that was left. 

Ryan is amongst the group but he stays in the back, eyeing Steve suspiciously but keeping his mouth shut and his distance far. It's shuddering to say the least, seeing the boy who'd tried to... violate him in the locker room. Like a deathly secret that they both shared in even if Steve didn't want to share anything with him. Made him feel grotesque and fucked up inside. A hand pressed hard on his chest has him reeling back sharply, sitting down hard on the bench. 

"Hey-!" He gasps out in surprise as Adam pushes him down with an evil sneer. Huge brown eyes glare up at them and they start to water, unfortunately for Steve. He tries to blink the irritating wetness away. 

"Aww, you gonna cry? Huh?" Adam taunts and the rest of them laugh. Tommy looks a bit guarded as his jeering grin slowly dissipates. He ends up walking away from the rest of them, back onto the court where Billy is... Billy whose blue eyes are suddenly focused on Steve. 

Steve feels a familiar ache of nostalgia in his chest because at one point, he and Tommy were good friends. He'd lost all of that because of Nancy. But... he shakes it off like he always does and glares harder at Adam. 

"What're you gonna do Harrington? Hm? You gonna fight me?" The jerk sneers, wringing his fingers in Steve's t-shirt. Steve growls and grabs his wrist hard, twisting it and shoving Adam back as he gets back to his feet. 

"Leave me alone." 

"He's not gonna fight anyone." Tyler spits, eyeing Steve dangerously. 

"He's already lost two fights to Billy and freak Byers. Little Stevie can't get the job done." 

Ryan snickers loudly at that before walking off to join Tommy on the court. Steve can feel his insecurities rising to the top like molten lava seeping through the cracks in a volcano. It's humiliating and irritating how mercilessly he's being picked on. He's pretty sure he'd paid for his sins of bullying Jonathan when his girlfriend had run off with the guy. He guessed he was wrong. 

The whistle blows.

"Alright girls, get your asses back on the court! New drills!" Bell suddenly yells and there's a collective groan from the team as they start filtering slowly back onto the court. Adam leaves last, his dark green eyes narrowed at Steve as if to say, "this isn't over Harrington." And Steve believes him. 

He sighs, shakily sitting back down on the bench, head in his hands that are propped up by elbows on his knees. Two weeks. Two weeks since Billy had forced him to come back to school and start attending classes again. And those two weeks had been nothing short of torture. It was only this morning when he'd done that test, that he'd thought things would actually be good. Turns out he was grossly mistaken. 

"Why so glum, Harrington?" 

He looks up to see Billy strutting towards him, looking cheeky and smugly satisfied about something, much to Steve's dismay. He quickly goes to fetch Billy his drink but the other boy waves him off with a flick of his wrist. 

"I can get my own water, pretty boy. Unlike those other pussies." He jokes, turning back to shake his head at the other guys currently getting yelled at by Bell for not being energetic enough. 

"Sorry." Steve mutters, looking down into his lap. 

Billy makes a face at him like he's repulsed or something and Steve cringes inwardly. Jesus, _why the hell did he feel so inefficient whenever Hargrove was around?_

"Whatever." Billy replies, whipping around again to see who was laughing like a hyena as Bell yelled at them for slacking off and clowning around. It's Ryan and his lot, wrestling and all that petty macho shit instead of running laps. When he turns back to Steve, he sees the boy's pretty brown eyes riveted on Ryan... and how happy and carefree the guy looks. Steve looks down at his lap, fingers playing distractedly with the hem of his tiny green shorts. There's a faint redness on his cheeks and Billy knows it's not a blush. 

It's shame. 

He grits his teeth. "Practice is almost over. You wanna shoot some hoops after?" 

It's an olive branch extension with a fucking white dove perched at the end of the branch. He feels some type of way watching Steve practically crumple like paper under the weight of _everything_ around him. It must be hard, being the King of Hawkins one day and then trash the next. Billy doesn't know the feeling since he's always been at the top, wherever he went. But watching it progress within and around Steve was like... watching a tragedy unfold without being able to stop it. A car crash waiting to happen. 

*

When the gym clears out, Billy's surprised to see Steve finally on the court, dribbling and shooting hoops for warm ups. It's a familiar feeling and he immediately feels the competitive side of him blossom like a flower. A fucking badass... flower. Why the hell did he just think of himself as a flower? 

_Cos you're turning soft._

Oh Jesus Christ not you again! 

_I hope that's not what you say when you actually see the lord._

Billy rolls his eyes. 

"You gonna play by yourself or....." He jokes easily, relishing in how startled Steve looks at first. 

But then the brunette grins and it's the most gut-wrenching thing Billy's ever seen. Harrington's smile _actually_ lights up his fucking face. His brown, doe-eyes practically sparkle with playfulness. His fluffy hair falls into his face gracefully, over his eyes, making him look even more beautiful and Billy can't help but _rake_ his eyes over those tiny, green, _short_ shorts. The boy's pale Bambi legs are shaven completely smooth and they look fucking _divine._ Say nothing of his cute, perky ass. 

_Okay, wow... that wasn't gay at all._

Billy can't even be angry at the voice in his head. Subconscious Billy was right. 

Damnit. 

"Thought you had better reflexes than that?" Steve teases as Billy misses the ball he tosses at him. 

"I wasn't ready." Billy protests but he's chuckling like a maniac, chasing after the ball. Steve is quicker though and he breezes past Billy, grabbing up the ball and shooting it at the basket. 

"He shoots! And he scores! Hargrove is eating dust!" Steve commentates dramatically, pretending to echo the chants of an excited crowd. Billy shakes his head. 

"You're stupid." He laughs, hip-checking the unsuspecting boy, stealing the ball from him. 

"Hey! Not fair, I was still celebrating!" Steve gasps childishly, tagging after Billy like a puppy. He manages to block Billy from scoring after taking a gigantic leap to the hoop and smacking the ball the other way. It makes Hargrove gape at him, equally pissed and impressed.

"Ha! Gotcha!" Steve hollers as he hangs on to the steel ring for a few seconds, doing a couple pull-ups, flexing on Billy. It's excruciatingly smug and hot at the same time. Billy can't help but lick his lips at the sight of Steve's trim and compact body hanging carefully from the ring. Steve's grey basketball tee has ridden up completely so the boy's pale tummy is all out on display. 

_Looks like he's right. Gotcha!_

"Fuck this..." Billy growls under his breath as he chases after the ball. Steve's still hanging leisurely from the hoop so he takes aim. He doesn't make the basket but the ball smacks Steve square in the face, right where he was aiming. Billy hears an undignified squeak and then a hard thud as the brunette crashes to the hard floor. 

_Shit. I think you killed him._

Billy rushes over to the boy, who's lying face down on the floor, his pretty legs kicking out as he rolls from side to side in pain. Both hands are clutching over his face. Billy kneels beside him, cautious hand on his shoulder. 

"Fuck- Harrington, you alright?" 

Steve whimpers weakly, scrawling up on his knees and elbows like a caterpillar or something- still clutching his face. 

"Shit, did I break your fucking nose?" 

Billy's mortified as Steve groans, squirming around.

"Jesus hold still! Lemme see! Harr-" 

In a flash, Billy is shoved to the ground on his back and Steve is scampering away, grabbing the ball and scoring another basket. 

Wait- what?! 

The brunette dribbles the ball, cheeky grin on his stupidly adorable face as he approaches a still-shocked Billy lying prone on the floor. 

"And the crowd's going wild! He scores again! Harrington, one hundred points, Hargrove, one!" Steve cackles, eyes tearing up at the corners from laughing too much. 

I don't fucking believe this. 

_He played you good!_

Billy doesn't appreciate the inner voice laughing at him, glaring hard at Steve- whose nose is perfectly fine by the way! There's a childish glee in the boy's pretty eyes and Billy can't help the stuttering feeling in his chest. He was being cute. Steve had pranked him to score a shot and he was being fucking cute about it. 

"How the hell do you have one hundred points?" Billy grouses, struggling to his feet with an exaggerated effort. 

"Cos I have one hundred points. Get over it Hargrove." Steve grins, spinning the ball on one finger. 

"You couldn't make one hundred points even if you fooled me a hundred times Princess." Billy taunts good-naturedly. 

"Is that right?:

"Yeah." 

"Okay fine, California King. Let's start again, whoever scores the most, is the champ." Steve challenges with a devilish wink that has Billy questioning his entire existence. He tosses the ball to Billy who grins just as torturously, throwing the ball behind him without a care, his steely eyes trained on Steve permanently.

"Oh, we're not gonna do that." Billy slurs, looking like that evil smiling clown from King's novel. 

Steve's face falls slowly as Billy starts advancing on him like a hungry mountain lion stalking its prey. The brunette cautiously starts to back away, pretty doe-eyes wide and bright like a deer, hands outstretched in front of him. 

"W- ...wait. Billy, I- ...I was just kidding..." He stutters, gulping as Billy gets closer. 

_Too late._

Billy starts chasing Steve around the court and their basketball game turns into tag. Steve is running fast- he's always been a quick kid- but Billy's gaining on him. He can't outrun pure muscle and soon he can feel Billy's presence hot on his heels. He squeals in absolute delight as the other boy's hand swipes across his back. 

"Bil-!" Steve's shrieks echo in the gym as Billy pounces on him, taking him to the floor. 

They tumble hard on the waxed gym floor, but Steve doesn't take a hard hit because Billy's arms manoeuvre him around quickly. Instead, his back takes the fall and he grunts hard as the breath is knocked out of him momentarily. Billy's heavy body on his makes it harder to breathe though and as soon as Steve blinks up, he almost touches noses with the blonde. 

They're _that_ close. 

Billy's positioned directly between Steve's long legs, the boy's shorts hiked up so high that it looks like his underwear. Billy's hand accidentally brushes the exposed skin of Steve's thighs and they both freeze. 

_Oh yeah Hargrove, he's a real boy._

The sound of his inner voice is sobering and Billy's never been more grateful for it. 

He quickly scrambles off of the gorgeous, panting brunette, standing tall above him... and boy, if it isn't a sight to relish. Steve under him, his pretty legs spread wide, sweat glistening like diamonds on his pale skin, chest expanding and contracting cos he's out of breath, his long, dark hair wet and all over his face. 

Jesus Christ. 

But Billy's a quick motherfucker who grips reality just as quickly as he loses it and he shakes his head casually, outstretched hand offered to help Harrington to his feet. The boy is unsure at first but a slight nod from Billy has him all wide-eyed and trusting again. He timidly reaches for the hand and tries to downplay the small gasp that escapes his throat as they touch. His hand looks so much smaller in Billy's, pale and fragile... 

...Kind of like his existence at the moment. 

He's at eye-level with Hargrove once more and they both quickly look away from each other. The huge clock on the wall says it's half past fucking time to go home and Billy has to book it. Neil's gonna kill him. He quickly packs his gym bag.

Steve probably has to go too, but not because it's late; no- he doesn't have anyone waiting at home for him. He just starts silently tossing his stuff into his bag, opting to shower when he gets home. 

It seems like Billy's doing the same. 

*

When they both get out into the parking lot, both at their respective cars, Steve turns to Billy, the golden evening sun shining in his pretty eyes, a hesitant smile on his pretty lips. 

"This was fun. We should do it again sometime." 

Billy doesn't look at him for a while, eyes focused hard on his keys, as if he doesn't know which one opens the car or which one goes in the ignition. He should've known Steve would want that. The boy's too naive for his own good. Things had gotten out of hand at the end there and Billy had been close to fucking losing it and kissing him... hard. It was an easy trap to fall into. 

_Steve's an easy trap to fall into._

He hates mushy-squash. Soft and sweet and cotton candy pink. 

_That's what Steve is... mushy-squash,... soft and sweet... and cotton candy pink._

He hates the voice inside his head.

"It was practice. Coach Bell's idea... but yeah. We should." He replies coldly before getting in his car, revving up the engine and speeding out of there. 

He doesn't _need_ to see how Steve's face falls from it's hopeful glow to a grey, sad frown. 

Or how he physically deflates in abject disappointment at the words. 

But he looks into his rear-view mirror anyway. 

Steve hasn't moved from his spot yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blep


	9. Pages Between Us Written with No End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With Matt gone for the while, it only gives them time to become better friends... at least that's what Billy tells himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this in a drunken haze... fuck life rn bruh

Pages Between Us Written with No End 

 

_94._

What? 

_94._

Maybe I should check this over again... with Keller, Steve thinks to himself, standing out in the hallways just outside of class. He's got a few papers in hand- most of it's in his untidy scrawl. But it's the _94_ circled in red ink that captures his attention. His eyes flick down to the name on the paper at the top. It says, _Steve Harrington._

Holy shit. 

This was _his_ paper.

 _He'd_ gotten the 94 in the history make-up exam! 

Holy fuck!

"Oh my God..." He whispers excitedly to himself, looking up around him out of reflex. 

His excited grin dissipates when he realizes there's literally no one to celebrate his achievement with. So much for that. He sighs and shakes his head but continues to paw through the papers to check out the minor corrections Keller had made. Jesus, Billy Hargrove should really become a teacher or something, Steve tells himself. The blonde had been really meticulous in helping him with the areas he had the most problems in and they'd gone through each one with a magnifying glass. Steve had thought it was just Hargrove being annoying and spiteful but, as it turned out, the boy had been right. 

Billy made Steve smart.

_Wow, what a feat._

"Steve?" 

The brunette is startled out of his thoughts by a familiar call of his name. His heart sort of collapses in his chest as he turns to see Nancy Wheeler walking up to him, books in hand, timid smile in her face. She's got on black jeans and a white t-shirt with a dark green hoodie over it. Steve doesn't have to think long to realize that it belongs to Jonathan. The dude really likes dull colours and hoodies. Turned out to be Nancy's favorite thing too, he guessed. 

"I've been meaning to- ...to catch up with you." She tells him, all flustered, tucking that short, choppy brown hair behind her ear. She does that cute blinky thing she always does with her eyes and Steve dies a little. Her lips are pulled into a shy, dark-matte, plum smile. Since when had she started wearing lipstick to school? Steve can't help but imagine that she was much more confident with Jonathan around. A confidence _he'd_ never been able to give her. He sighs, forcing a polite smile.

"Hey, ...um, Nancy. What's up?" 

She looks a bit miffed by his detached response but doesn't lose her smile, gesturing to the papers in his hands. 

"Is that Keller's test?" 

Steve freezes. 

And suddenly he was back to ground zero. Back to the world where Nancy treated him like the idiot he really was. Where she made a task of ridiculing him by "marking on his essays" and poking fun at how he'd failed Chem. Most of it probably wasn't intentional- God knows Nancy Wheeler was a saint- ...but, those times when she'd called him out in his failing track record, had been exceptionally cruel. And it brought him back to a space where he was just worthless-Steve again. 

"Uh... yeah." He answers dumbly, folding the paper in half. 

"I um... I heard you had to take it a second time." She reveals but it doesn't sound spiteful or condescending. Just a statement. 

Steve's mortified anyway as she flicks her chin at the paper. 

"Can I see it?" 

"Uhmm... I- ...uh, sure." He replies, his skin tightening uncomfortably as their hands almost touch when she takes the offered exam. 

It's torture, watching her and waiting in stark silence as her pretty blue eyes scroll across the words, and gradually widen as they go along. By the time she's done, her mouth is wide open and her eyes are huge and blinking up in surprise at him while he's a mess of nerves and nausea. He's cold sweating and his fingernails are cutting into his clenched palms. 

"Well...?" He chokes out, cheeks red. 

"Oh my God Steve! This is so great! Congratulations!" She gasps out with a blush on her cheeks and a sincere smile. She pulls him into a tight hug that's less than platonic but extremely genuine and he doesn't know but the touch feels... _freeing_ somehow. He let's out a deep breath he'd been holding in and grins into her hair. 

"Thanks Nance." 

"This is incredible. You beat me." She gushes and he almost chokes... again. 

"What-?! No, you're lying." He insists, shaking his head as he tucks the paper into his backpack. 

"I'm serious Steve. I scored a 92. I'm not mad, I always knew you had it in you." She reveals and suddenly her excited voice drops into something more of an admittance. It's a confession of genuine feeling and suddenly he feels stupid for thinking of her as putting him down. She was a tough girl, so maybe that's how she came across to him. Billy was more understanding when it came to tutoring him. Which was totally weird considering the guy was a brute. He shakes those thoughts out of his head as Jonathan approaches them. 

"Hey- ...oh, hey man. How's it going?" Byers almost blanches when he sees Steve. He's got his backpack slung on one shoulder and a dark blue t-shirt on with long white sleeves poking out from under the shirt. Nancy shoots Jonathan a look and then glances at Steve nervously. 

"Hey man, how's it going?" Steve tries not to sound like he's dying of embarrassment by the second but he guesses they can sense his discomfort.

_He actually wants to crawl into a ditch and die._

"Fine man, it's been... good. Haven't seen you around for a while." Jonathan replies, wincing as he realizes how that could have come off. Steve shakes it off. Has to remind himself that he's trying to move on. He's with Matt now and he's happy and Matt's his boyfriend now. Of course he's still hurt by Nancy's betrayal but she looks so genuinely happy with Jonathan, he can't bring himself to fight it. They were _meant_ to be together. 

"Uh yeah... yeah, I just needed to recoup from some injuries I got in practice. I'm fine now though." He reassures, thinking of Billy literally coming to his house and dragging his ass back to class. The thought comes with some sort of fondness and he feels confused for a few seconds. Nancy seems to know what's on his mind, oddly enough.

"I saw you talking to Billy Hargrove yesterday. Are... -are you guys friends now?" She asks, trying to sound non-intrusive but totally does anyway. Steve doesn't particularly mind.

"Oh, ...that. Yeah, he's been... helping me with... with practice. Y'know, to get back on the team." He mutters, shrugging his shoulders as if it were nothing. Both Nancy and Jonathan balk at him, their mouths agape. 

"You were kicked off the team?" Nancy splutters, her eyes wide and sad for him. He didn't want or need her pity though.

"Yeah nah, more like... benched until further notice. Hargrove's been training with me so that I can... get back in shape." 

Jonathan's brow raises high into his hairline but he says nothing. 

"Oh, ...whats he like?" Nancy finally says, her voice a bit too curious. Steve winces.

"He's an alright guy, if you get past the mullet and the cologne." He jokes, a mental picture forming in his head of Billy choking him out for talking shit about his hair and cologne. He blinks the mortifying thoughts away before turning back to Nancy and Jonathan. 

"That sounds about right." Nancy nods as the bell rings for the end of break-time. 

"I've gotta go. Practice." He announces weakly, feeling a bit relived and a bit sad. He doesn't know _what_ to feel at the moment. Nancy has a similar look on her face while Jonathan just looks emotionally constipated as usual. 

"Will- ...will You have lunch with us?" Nancy blurts out and both Steve and Jon look at her with furrowed brows and surprised eyes. Steve glances at Jonathan. 

"I... I dunno Nance... I-" He starts but Byers cuts him off.

"Yeah, that'd be cool Steve." The boy mutters quietly, a forced smile on his face.

Steve gulps hard and shakes his head for a few seconds.

"Umm, I'm not sure guys, ...but... I'll try?" He chokes out and it's the best he can do for the moment without passing out from the awkwardness of it all. 

Nancy's beaming smile makes his hopeful answer worth it.

 

.......................

"Lock it up ladies! C'mon!" 

The gym smells like sweat and musky cologne and new plastic and paint. Steve finds all of these, perfectly nauseating as he sits on the sidelines, playing with a clump of crushed ice from the cooler in his hands. It's idle and completely childish but every time one of his teammates make a sly comment about him, he pelts them with the ice and chuckles with smug satisfaction as some of the pieces hit their targets.

"Harrington! What're you, five?!" Coach Bell grumbles, giving him an exasperated glare. 

Steve shrugs innocently and rolls his eyes, hitting Tommy right in the ass with a particularly large clump. 

He's _bored._

"Tyler- cut it out!" Bell shouts again, stomping onto the center of the court to break up a playfight that's broken out between Tyler and Ryan. Steve rolls his eyes and flicks a _tiny_ piece of ice at the coach. It lands but is much to small for the man to notice. Steve, snickering, counts it as a win. 

He looks over to the corner of the court where Billy's half naked as usual, hands on his hips as he's deep in conversation with Travis Bennett. Travis is a good looking fella with a cute face and golden brown hair. He's not that far off from Steve in terms of build and their shorts are almost the same length. 

_Almost._

Steve can't understand the sudden feeling of annoyance as the boy chuckles at something Billy said before putting his hand on Billy's _bare_ shoulder. What's more is that Billy doesn't even seem put off by the touch or by how close Travis is. He's got his gorgeous blue eyes heavily lidded as he grins sexily at the other boy. Travis is also shirtless and he's got a rock hard body with a perfectly muscled core and well-oiled abs. He's also tan, much like Billy which makes Steve think that they both somehow share the Cali heritage. Steve feels his chest burn at the sight of them and he picks up a huge clump of ice. It's practically a _baseball_ of ice. 

He's got one eye closed, the other one open and focused on Billy's perky ass with his pink tongue stuck out in concentration. He holds up the piece of ice and takes aim, immediately regretting his decision because Billy suddenly turns around...

...And promptly gets nailed in the nuts. 

It's hilarious. 

And scary. 

Steve gasps, hand clasped over his cute mouth, doe-eyes wide. 

Hargrove doubles over in pain at the impact and collapses to the shiny gym floor on his knees, hands cupping his goddamn nuts. Travis is left with his mouth hanging wide open as Steve looks on in shock from the benches. The whole team erupts in thunderous laughter as they turn their attentions to Billy... who's still groaning on the floor. Coach Bell rounds on him frustratedly with one of his eyes wincing harder than the other. 

It's hilarious and comical. 

"The fuck!" Hargrove groans in the background as Bell approaches him.

"What d'you think you're doing boy?! You crazy?! This isn't playtime Steven!" Bell fumes, hands on his waist, clipboard in hand. 

Steve knocks his knees together, biting his lip innocently, blinking at Bell with his big pretty eyes. His hands are clasped around his legs, playing with his knee-high socks. 

"I didn't mean to..." He mutters defensively as Billy glares up from the floor. His blue eyes harden at Steve who pales visibly as the blonde starts getting to his feet. Travis tries helping him up but he brushes the boy off as Tyler and the rest pester him. Ryan looks oddly satisfied and Steve wants to chuck an even bigger piece at the guy's head. 

"What the hell's gotten into everybody this evening? You're all acting like children!" Bell hollers, blowing his whistle. Everyone shuts up immediately, falling into line at a single flick of Bell's wrist. 

Everyone except Billy... who's still trying to stand properly. 

The chunk of melting ice is on the floor next to him, already forming a small, clear puddle. 

Steve blushes as their eyes make contact but Bell quickly calls for his attention. 

"Hargrove, take ten on the side and try not to strangle Harrington." 

Billy limps over to the benches, his mouth pulled into a taut grimace and his fists clenched hard. He takes up residence in the space next to Steve, a little distance away. 

"Harrington, apologize to your Captain, the rest of you, I want laps in the field. Now, c'mon, out!" Bell orders, shooing the guys out of the gym. He turns back to them. 

"How's he my Captain? I'm not even on the team." Steve protests like a little brat and Bell fixes him with an even sterner look while Billy just sends him a withering glare, still trying to catch his breath. 

"Apologize. _Now._ " Bell's tone Brooks no argument and sounds as if he's talking to a pre-schooler. It's humiliating, especially in front of Billy but Steve concedes anyway, with a huge sigh. 

"M'sorry Hargrove." He mumbles to the blonde who looks a tiny bit smug now. 

Bell clears his throat and raises his brow at Steve. 

"Sorry for what Steven?" 

Steve rolls his eyes and stomps his feet a little, all petulant and pouty. It was an accident! 

"I'm sorry for hitting you in the nuts." He grumbles, not missing the withering sneer Hargrove sends him. Bell sighs tiredly, like he's fed up with everything and shakes his head. 

"As punishment, Steve you'll stay with Hargrove until he's better enough to join us outside in the field. Keep it civil in here." 

Steve slides a little further away from Billy as the Coach stomps out of the gym. 

 

*

"The hell's your problem man?" Billy groans, pressing an ice pack Steve had gotten for him to his crotch. The initial impact had worn off but there was still some soreness in the area. 

"I was bored." Steve shrugs all unaware and stupid and adorable. Billy can't fucking _stand_ him! 

_He just hit you in the nuts. The last thing you should think about this kid is adorable._

Billy rolls his eyes. "Fuck off." 

"Hey, I said I was sorry." Steve protests defensively, cracking open the seal on one of the energy drinks and passing it to Billy. 

"I wasn-" He pauses. Telling Steve that he was actually talking to the voice in his head wouldn't do so well. 

He sighs, taking a swig from the bottle.

"I swear there's something wrong with you man."

"There's nothing wrong with me!" Steve protests.

"You see me nailing people in the nuts when I'm bored? No!" 

Steve growls to himself and picks up the discarded basketball from the floor. Billy's still on the bench, hand between his legs, eyeing Steve suspiciously. Steve dribbles for at least two minutes before running around the court, drilling through invisible players and then slamming a shot through the basket. He does that stupid hanging thing from the steel ring again and Billy's eyes follow the way the boy's lithe body swings in suspense before dropping to the floor. Steve grins cheekily at him, bending down to pick up the ball. 

"See that?" He boasts proudly, balancing the ball on his index. 

Billy smirks despite himself, removing the ice pack from his crotch. 

"Yeah I did. Turns out you can play ball. Especially when you're by yourself, with no one to play against." 

Steve's face falls instantly and the boy turns around, bouncing the ball a few times before sinking a three-pointer. He grabs up the ball again and just bounces it around idly. His shoulders have dropped considerably and his head is bent low. Billy clicks his tongue and shakes his head at his own insensitivity. 

He instantly feels bad. 

He slowly gets to his feet from the benches, his balls fricking sore as a motherfucker- fuck you very much Harrington. Steve's still facing the basket, spinning the ball on his fingertips, lost in his own thoughts. His hair looks beautiful from the back, long and fluffy, rich and chestnut brown. The long strands travel all the way down his neck and hide into the back of his t-shirt. Billy doesn't realize he's right up against Steve's back until Steve's body goes rigid against his front. 

Silence falls all around them. 

Steve can feel Billy's warm breath on his neck, making the little hairs there raise with excitement. Billy reaches out and slides his hands along the length of Steve's arms, holding him tight and compact against his own body. He gently positions Steve in perfect alignment with the basket and raises their arms.

"You've got this." He whispers in Steve's ear, lips brushing the shell sensually. 

"Just center it." 

Steve breathes in tandem with Billy, exhaling when he exhales and inhaling again when the other boy does. They're like a well-oiled machine now. 

"And shoot." Billy hisses in Steve's ear, lips deliberate in their brushing against Steve's neck now, just under his ear lobe. 

They both aim at the basket and he can _feel_ Steve gasp as the ball goes in. But he doesn't let go of Steve's hands. Nor does he distance himself from the boy's neck. He can feel his instincts forcing him deeper into the crease in the boy's shoulder, but sheer will has him restraining himself from going there. He knows if he does, it'll all be over for him. Steve was that addictive first whiff of coke that ruined a person for the rest of their life. And Billy wasn't immune to addiction. It ran in his family like a cheetah on steroids. 

"You're a good shot, Steve." He whispers into the boy's ear instead, his hands slowly slipping from their grips. He ends up backing away cautiously from the brunette, as if he were some great threat... and in all honesty, he was. A threat to Billy's very existence. 

"Don't let anyone tell you different." 

Steve finally turns around, his dark eyes glistening. 

"Even you?" He asks meekly, pretty porcelain face blushing a cotton candy pink. 

Billy grins at him- Cheshire cat style. 

" _Especially_ me, pretty boy." 

Steve nods quietly and sits right next to him on the benches, their shoulders almost touching. He wraps his arms around his bent knees and sighs, looking over to Billy. 

"I'm sorry for damaging your goods." 

Billy snorts at that, amused. 

"It's cool princess. But, just know that if you ever do it again, you're a dead man." 

Steve chuckles and nods. "That's fair. Does it still hurt?" 

Something about Steve talking about his dick directly makes Billy squirm and not in an unpleasant way. Which is exactly why he screws up his face at Steve. 

"Well duh, but I'm not talking to you about my dick. The hell Harrington?" He remarks scandalously. Steve just rolls his eyes though and shrugs.

"Just wanted to know if you needed another ice pack." He murmurs, playin with the laces on his sneakers. 

Billy sighs. "I'm sorry." 

"For what?" 

"I dunno. For always snapping at you. Y'know I don't really mean it right?" 

Billy wants to believe that the scoff Steve lets out isn't meant to be mean but he's not one to delude himself. He should've expected the boy to react like that. His apologies don't mean shit when he keeps committing the same ol' mistakes again. 

"I've gotten used to it. Not just from you... I guess that's what happens when you lose your throne. M'not bothered." Steve murmurs sagely, his tone soft and tired now. He keeps his eyes down at his feet and Billy wants to comfort him. No more fooling himself. Steve is so beautiful and he doesn't even know it. Billy fucking _wishes_ he could be the one to take away all of Steve's worries. 

"I don't care about some stupid fucking throne. Being king in Hawkins is like being a regular in Cali anyway."

"Thanks." Steve snorts but Billy shakes his head. 

"No, I mean... being King doesn't prove a damn thing in this place. You shouldn't worry about shit like that." 

Steve just shrugs weakly. 

This is probably the first time in his life, Billy's ever been so interested in someone so... dull and grey. And that was in terms of company. Steve was lively as hell on any other day... he knows. But right now, if it were anybody else, Billy would've already left them to their own devices. But something about Steve drew him _in._

And he never wanted to leave. 

"Steve- ...I have to ask,..." He starts but pauses in hopes of not making the boy angry or whatever. 

"Ask what?" Steve murmurs, pulling out a energy drink from the cooler. 

Billy swallows. "Does he still hit you?" 

There's a huge pause from Steve after that and Billy immediately regrets asking something so stupid. Steve freezes beside him, bottle in mid-tilt, his lips frozen on the rim. The brunette swallows some of the purple water and slowly closes the bottle. 

"Listen... what- ...what you saw at Kyle's party, was nothing..."

"I'm not stupid Steve."

"He got angry. I was... in the way. He didn't mean _any_ of it."

"D'you really believe that?" Billy pushes. 

Steve scoffs and shakes his head. 

"Yes. He's a good person. You just don't see it." 

"You were gone for a few days. He was driving your car. Where were you?" 

"This an interrogation?" Steve demands testily and Billy's never heard the boy speak with such venom. 

"No, no man. Those little dweebs are just worried about you. You've stopped answering their calls. Again." 

This is the first time Billy's ever been on the "calm" side of a conversation and he finally sees a reflection of himself in Steve's cagey-ness. It's telling. He lashes out when something's really going on. He guesses Steve does too. 

"Yeah well, I'm seventeen. Don't always got time to _play_ with thirteen year olds." Steve spits harshly and even Billy can tell he doesn't mean a word of it. He sees the boy fighting with a tempest inside himself and it's like looking in a goddamn mirror. 

He decides to do something he's never fucking done because he believes that Steve doesn't deserve what Matt's been doing to him. It's like a last minute ditch effort of trying to save the boy from his evident destruction, even if Steve never asked for his help. 

"M- ...my dad, he's like Matt." 

Jesus fuck that felt like it _hurt_ to reveal.

He can feel Steve's gaze on him and his skin prickles with discomfort. He knows if he looks up at the boy, he'd see the horrified expression and hear the "oh my god I'm so sorry." But Steve does neither. 

Instead he just hums in acknowledgement and shakes his head. 

"Sounds terrible. Why does he do it?" 

"He's angry." Billy shrugs.

"So angry that he'd abuse his own son?" 

_My my, how the tables have turned._

Steve just called it abuse. Cos that's what Matt does to him. 

"People show their pain and hurt in different ways I guess. But there's a fine line between not knowing how to express feelings and pure, outright abuse. For some it's a sickness." 

"That what you think? You think Matt's sick?" Steve asks and it doesn't cone with any hostile heat. 

Billy's relieved. 

"Why else does he do it? I saw him floor you Steve. You're _so_ much smaller than he is." 

"Why do you care?" 

There's that question again. 

Billy's starting to think it's one of Steve's favorites. 

But then... 

_Why does he care?_

"Because I know you don't deserve it. From that moment at Byers' house, I knew you didn't deserve any of it. You just..."

"Got in the way." Steve finishes as if to prove his point about Matt. It works against Billy and he grits his teeth. He doesn't want Steve to be near Matt anymore. But he's a coward, so he'll never admit to the boy how he really feels. How he really wants to protect him and keep him from getting hurt. And from being kicked when he's down. 

Steve deserves the _world._

Billy just wishes the boy could see that. 

"I'm gonna talk to Bell, see if he'd consider putting you back on the team sooner than later. You were never a bad player." 

Steve smiles a little at that and chucks a tiny piece of ice at him. It gets caught up in his blonde curls before melting into nothingness. 

"You sure about that?" He teases and Billy scoffs goodnaturedly. 

"Hell yeah. We make a pretty badass team, don't we?" 

"Yeah we do." Steve grins, his pretty face glowing again. It's beautiful to see. 

"Hey, maybe we should get out there on the field now?" 

Billy nods, gripping Steve's outstretched hand to pull himself up. 

"I got a 94, by the way." Steve boasts proudly as they head for the gym's exit doors. 

"No way, you serious?!" Billy gasps, in total, genuine shock. 

"Yup, guess you really are a good teacher." The boy smiles, winking at him playfully. 

"Shit."

"What? Did I beat your grade?" It's totally cheeky and Steve's only kidding but it's a total shock when Billy nods, his blue eyes wide.

"Holy fuck Harrington. Okay, I'm bringing beer over later to celebrate."

"I _really_ beat you?" Steve squeals in excitement. He looks like he wants to cry with joy. 

It tugs at Billy's chest. 

"Damn straight pretty boy. I got an 89." He sighs, knowing full well that he'd scored a fucking _97_ on the test. 

Steve was happy...

...that was all that mattered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it was gud


	10. This Bright Eyed Honey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A family reunion! Billy reflects. And Steve regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this ish listening to My Heart Will go On... idk why...

This Bright-Eyed Honey 

 

Deep down, Steve Harrington knew he was a good boy. 

He was raised by a few dozen babysitters who pinched him hard whenever he cried and slapped him on the butt when he asked for his mama... his mama who never seemed to be around. His parents were never home and so he'd grown up with no brothers or sisters to play with and multiple grannies who probably trained in the military with how strict they were. They taught him to be a gentleman, to open doors for women and little old ladies; to always say _please and thank you._ And how to treat the girl of his dreams. 

Becoming friends with Tommy made him mess all of that training up when he'd let the boy spray paint "slut" across the cinema marquee. 

At the time, Nancy hadn't deserved it. He'd just read into things the wrong way and like the little, insecure boy that he truly was at heart, he'd jumped to conclusions. A year later and he'd paid the ultimate price; losing the girl of his dreams to the very same guy he'd called "queer." Jesus, the irony. 

But God knew he deserved it. 

At least, that's what he thought anyway. Sitting down with the two of them wasn't exactly how he'd planned to spend his lunch time but, they'd practically dragged him in the cafeteria with them. It wasn't like he had _actual_ plans though. But Nancy and Jonathan didn't need to know about his miserable little life. 

"Something on your mind?" 

"Hm?" 

"Steve." 

"Yeah- um, sorry... spaced out for a minute..." He apologizes, blinking a few times as Nancy's clear eyes regard him carefully. Jonathan is busy biting into an apple next to her. 

"It's fine, I was just asking about Matt."

"Oh." 

"How is he?" Nancy presses, sipping orange juice. 

Steve's been picking at half a sandwich since lunch started. 

"Uh- he's great. Yeah, he'll be back in a week or so." He answers as guardedly as possible. 

It was hard to get used to the fact that Nancy knew about his relationship with Matt. The whole situation was nothing short of awkward. He hated how exposed he felt every time someone brought up his boyfriend. Something about admitting that he was with Matt made his skin _crawl._ Cringe. It made his stomach churn and his head spin. Matt wasn't a topic he liked to discuss with anyone. The last time he'd done that, had been with Billy- and that had been an utter disaster. Everyone always seemed to be suspicious of the guy- like he wasn't good enough for Steve or something. But Steve knew the truth, and that's why he defended Matt every time. Matt had brought him back from the brink. 

Saved him from feeling sorry for himself. 

Matt wasn't the mistake everyone made him out to be.

_Yeah, keep telling yourself that love._

Who the hell said that? 

_Just the logical part of your brain Steven. The smallest part._

Great, I'm talking to myself now. 

"Have you ever been?" Nancy was asking him something. 

"Huh?" 

"Texas, have you ever been to Texas?" She asked again and Steve has to shake the cotton out of his head. 

"No, I've never uh... no. Matt wants to take me there some time though." He reveals, blushing a little as Nancy's eyes sparkle with interest and Jonathan perks up from picking at the core of the apple. There goes that dizzying feeling of discomfort again. 

"That sounds great." Jonathan murmurs.

"So, you know about that little get-together dinner we're planning right?" Nancy asks, a bit excited. 

Steve vaguely remembers the kids telling him about that. Jesus, he's been out of the loop for a while. It's disorienting. 

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, I think Dustin told me. You guys going?" 

They frown at him slightly as if he'd just asked the dumbest question in the world. They were probably right. 

"Well, yeah. I mean, it's not exactly something we can avoid. And I think we all really need a moment to appreciate the fact that we're still here. Y'know, after everything that's happened." She replies, her blue eyes regarding him intently, as if willing him to go.

"You can't... _not_ go." Jonathan says, shrugging his shoulders. 

Steve's on the defensive. 

"No, I know. I was just wondering when you guys are planning to have it. I might have... Matt might be back and I don't want to miss him."

Nancy frowns a little but she nods anyway.

"I get that. But don't worry. We'll make sure to set a convenient date and time. Trust me, we need this. After all, we did help save the world. Or... Hawkins at least." 

Steve scoffs softly at that.

"You guys did. I just got my ass handed to me by the new King." 

Nancy and Jonathan share a quizzical look but he misses it cos he's busy tearing apart a sandwich he never planned to eat in the first place. 

"What're you talking about? You helped those kids." Nancy scoffs scandalously.

"Yeah, plus you helped save my brother when you burned that hub in the tunnels." Jonathan adds, eyes staring into Steve insistently. 

Steve chuckles, shaking his head. 

"That was the kids' idea." 

They're both looking at him with pity in their eyes and he's suddenly self-conscious. It's not like he was fishing for compliments, he swears. It was just the truth. He didn't do shit except maybe corral the kids together when things got out of hand. Like a glorified babysitter. But the truth was, _they_ had come up with the plan to burn the hub. _They_ drove to the tunnels while he was out cold in the backseat. He tried to protect them from Billy and even that, he couldn't do. Max had saved them. 

The bell rings and he hates to leave on such an uncertain note. 

But he does anyway.

 

............

"Billy!"

"No dont ask Billy!" 

"Hey Billy." 

"He doesn't give a crap-!" 

"Bill-"

"Mike shut up!"

"No Dustin, you shut up-!" 

_"Jesus the fuck d'you bitches want?!"_

Billy almost feels bad for the estranged silence that follows his little explosion but honestly, there's only so much of this he can fucking take!

The kids- 

_Little living, breathing parasites..._

The _kids..._ have been coming over to the Hargrove house as of late thanks to Max as if it's fucking "save Steve Harrington Central". They either get there on their bikes or Max strong arms him into giving them all a ride. Then he has to endure all of the arguing and chatter and singing in his car until they get there. And when they scamper out of his car and into the house, it's even worse. Cos now there are candy wrappers and corn chip crumbs on his backseat and on the upholstery. And it makes him want to cry but he has to hold it all in because he's promised to be a better fucking person. 

_You're going soft Hargrove. I told you._

He's currently lying on the couch- well, he _was_ watching t.v. and enjoying himself until those fucking brats- 

_Parasites._

Yeah, until they came bursting out of Max's room like a couple of- 

_Parasites._

Yeah. 

Was a little peace and quiet too much to ask for?

"So we had another plan." Max continues, shoving his feet off the couch to sit right next to him. 

He sighs heavily.

 _Apparently not._

"Another plan for what?" He gripes as the other kids stare at him. It's unnerving. He sits upright quickly, narrowing his eyes at them. They're probably planning to kill him. 

"Steve's been going off the radar again." Dustin sighs, and oh, isn't that a relief. They're back to the subject of Harrington. 

"And this is my problem because...." He states tiredly rubbing at his eyes. 

"Because youre friends with him." Lucas deadpans. 

Billy rolls his eyes. "No, we're not friends, Sinclair. I just tutor him." 

"Wait- what?!" Dustin demands, sounding totally shocked or some shit. 

"You're tutoring Steve?" Mike scoffs as if to imply that Billy's no better off than the guy he's tutoring. 

"I take offense." He snaps.

"How come you didn't tell us?" Max questions, her eyes piercing into him. 

"Um, because it's none of your business." He defends feeling somewhat exposed. The kids eye him suspiciously and he knows they have reason to be. 

"Okay look, his teacher said that he needed help or else he wasn't going to graduate. I was just doing him a favour." 

"I find that hard to believe." Mike says honestly. 

"I find you incredibly annoying." Billy sneers childishly and Max has to clap her hands to get the two of them to knock it off. 

"Guys! Hey- guys! Listen, who cares? Let's get back to the plan of helping Steve." 

"Max is right." Dustin nods, fixing his hat. 

"And besides, Billy being that close to Steve actually might be a good thing."

"How?" Lucas questions, raising a thick brow at Hargrove who huffs in annoyance. 

"Because he can get Steve to the junkyard." 

"To the what now?" Billy blurts out incredulously. 

_These kids were insane._

"The old junkyard just off of Cherry and Mulgrave." Will supplies him efficiently. 

Billy makes a face at them. 

"Are you planning on cheering him up with scrap metal or something?" 

There's a resounding groan and he feels dumb. 

"We've got a plan. All you have to do is get him to the junkyard." Lucas replies, and now they're all blinking at him expectantly with large eyes like fucking haunted owls. 

"So can you do it?" 

 

..........................

"How's my little bitch?" 

Steve rolls his eyes at no one in particular as he curls the phone cord around his finger idly. 

"Hey baby." He grins quietly to himself, lying back against his pillows as he presses the receiver to his ear. Matt's voice over the line is a comfort for him. He hasn't seen the boy in weeks and he's surprised to admit that he's missed that low, almost sleazy growl. His skin prickles at the low chuckle Matt sends him and his stomach tightens a bit. 

"How's Texas?" 

"Well, I don't mean to gush, but it's fucking awesome here babe. I mean the bars, the beer and the bitches. It's great." Matt snorts excitedly.

"Bitches?" 

Steve tries so damn hard not to sound like a jealous girlfriend but he can't help it. 

"Oh, you know, the girls here are so different. They're awesome. Put some of those Hawkins sluts to shame." 

"Y- ...Matt..." He tries but can't bring himself to finish the sentence. Matt catches his drift though and he laughs out loud. 

"Don't worry your pretty little head Stevie. Ain't nobody touched this fine packaging. I've been a good boy." 

Steve scoffs and shakes his head. 

"You're so stupid. How's your family?" 

There's a nonchalant grunt from Matt's end and Steve can picture the boy shrugging, unconcerned. 

"They're all out to some hoedown in a spot called Las Casas. I was supposed to join em but I figured I could use the time to check up on my favorite little bed bug." 

Steve giggles, biting his lip gently. 

"Well this bed bug hasn't had anyone to bite for weeks. When are you coming back?" 

Matt sighs. "I don't know baby. I haven't seen them for a long time. Might be another two weeks." 

Steve pouts sadly and frowns like a spoiled little kid that's ready to cry because he didn't get his way. He kicks at the brown teddy bear staring at him from the foot of his bed and feels bad when it hits the floor with a soft, squishy thud. 

"I can make it worth your while sweetheart. Don't you worry. Why don't you tell me what you've got on?" 

Matt's voice drops a few octaves lower and Steve gets incredibly turned on by the boy's heavy breathing in his ear. It almost feels like he's there with him, on his bed, whispering dirty somethings in his ear.

"What I've got on?" 

_"Yeah baby. Tell Daddy what you're wearing. Where are you right now?"_

Steve can feel his cock stiffen at the sexy dark tone in Matt's voice and his body automatically sinks deeper into the mattress, his legs spreading slightly. 

"M... I'm on my bed... got on your t-shirt and that blue... the blue shorts you love." He moans as his right hand drags gently across the slowly hardening bulge at the front of his cotton shorts. 

_"Yeah?"_

"Uh-huh." 

_"Take them off._

"Hm?" 

_"Take em off, leave my t-shirt on."_

Steve quickly obeys, leaving the receiver on his pillow long enough to slip off the shorts and his underwear. He tosses them somewhere halfway across the room in a heated haze and pulls Matt's t-shirt up his chest, exposing himself. 

"What now daddy?" He whispers into the phone, arching his back a little as he touches his cock. Some lotion would've done wonders for the friction but he just works with spit. He's desperate and incredibly horny. 

_"You touching yourself babe?"_

God knows he is.

"Yes." 

_"Yes...?"_

"Yes daddy. I'm touching myself." He whines. 

_"Good girl. Get your fingers wet baby. Get em real wet and slick... and spread your legs wide."_

Steve whimpers out loud, bringing his hand up to his mouth and sucking in his index and middle fingers. He makes sure to do it sloppy and loud so that Matt could hear him. He moan around the digits and chokes himself on them. Matt breathes out heavily in his ear. 

_"Suck on em babygirl."_

"Mhm.." Steve grunts softly, sucking harder. 

"Are you touching yourself Daddy?" 

Matt's low laugh crackles across the line and Steve's skin breaks out in goosebumps. 

_"Oh I'm all hard and standin tall for my baby boy. Yeah bitch, I'm jerkin my cock off to you suckin on those fingers. Why don't you go ahead and slip one inside now hm?"_

"Yes daddy." Steve whines. 

He spreads his legs wider, toes pointing like a ballerina in the air. His wet fingers brush past his hard, red cock and his balls that are already drawn tight. His hole is just as tight, having been left alone for a while since Matt's been gone. Usually the boy has him all stretched out. He moans and bites his lower lip as the middle finger slides in with little difficulty. He tightens up, his thighs squeezing together as he moans breathily into the phone. 

"Daddy...!" 

_"Fuck.... are you inside? C'mon babe, talk to me."_

Matt sounds desperate now, gasping harshly in Steve's ear, the slick sound of him jacking his hard cock in the background. 

"Yes- uh fuck! Oh my God-!" Steve cries out as his fingers nail somewhere close to his prostate. His fingers aren't ling enough to reach the way Matt's monster cock does. He cries out in frustration but his back arches deep anyway as his cock jumps with a deeper thrust. 

_"Shit-! bitch...! Fuck yeah baby, finger that fucking pussy! Good boy!"_

"Fuck! Daddy-.... I'm gon- ..gonna cum!" Steve wails out, not even embarrassed by how easily he's riled up by just a few whispered moans. The muscles in his thighs contract hard as he thrusts up off the bed, his back arched. Sweat drips down his face from his soaked hair. He cries out hard for Matt when he cums.

_"Fuck yes bitch... cum for me. That's my girl."_

Matt jerks off faster as the sounds of Steve's broken little cries and wails crackle over the phone. He could imagine his boy jacknifing on his bed, creaming himself. That kind of power was eureka for him. To know that he had that much control over Steve. Steve's sobs die down into little exhausted, wet whimpers when the boy is done, gasping little breaths in his ear. 

_"You made a mess didn't you?"_

Steve is silent for a while, trying to catch his breath. 

"I did..." 

_"Clean it up babe."_

"Hmm?" 

_"Lick it up from your fingers baby. Be a good boy."_

Steve hums his approval before sticking the soiled fingers between his wet lips, sucking gently on them. He slurps loudly so that Matt can hear just how good he is. 

_"How does it taste boy?"_ Matt rasps, catching his breath from cumming immediately after Steve did. 

"Good. Not as good as yours though..." Steve answers honestly, laying back tiredly on his pillows. He's got a dopey smile on his face from everything that's happened. 

_"Oh you'll get mine soon baby. This'll have to do for now."_

Steve stretches his legs and smiles softly, his eyes glazed. 

"I miss you even more now." He admits, blushing pink. 

Matt's low chuckle on the other end makes his belly tighten. 

_"Don't worry. The time'll fly. Hey, I gotta go okay babe? My folks are back. I'll call you tomorrow."_

Steve's smile disappears and he sighs. Come and gone like that. 

"Okay baby. Bye." He murmurs, flinching at the click that kills their connection. 

Matt's hung up on him. 

Steve feels the same way. 

 

..............

 

Steve's wearing short fucking shorts again. 

His hair is a fluffy mess of dark brunette strands that fall into his huge pretty eyes. His t-shirt looks a little too big for him but the soft material clings on to the right places. Billy almost doesn't want to tell him about the kids' plan for the evening. He just wants to lift Steve into his arms, carry them upstairs into his room and have his way with him on that big bed of his. Wipe that soft, pretty fucking smile off his face and replace it with bitten lips and screams of pleasure. 

_Christ, get your dick out already._

Shut up you!

"Hey, come in." Steve murmurs tiredly, scratching his head in that cute, nervous way he always did whenever Billy was around. 

"Uh, actually I w- ....why d'you look like that?"

"Like what?" 

Billy narrows his blue eyes at Steve who blushes bright coral. Those pretty doe-eyes try to avoid his gaze.

"I don't... I dunno what you're talking about." Steve mutters guiltily, scratching his neck suspiciously. 

Billy screws his face up.

"Yeah right. I think I have a pretty good idea of what you've been up to pretty boy. You reek of it." 

Steve goes red and shakes his head.

"I don't- ...you're crazy Hargrove." 

Billy shudders as he think about it. No wait- He doesn't want to think about it. 'It' would be Steve and Matt rolling around on his bed, kissing and touching and _fucking._ Something dark and bitter bubbles up in his chest right up into his throat and he feels as if he's about to spew acid. 

"Can we just get started on those essays?" Steve begs, his arms wrapped around his body like he's trying to hide some great big secret. 

"Oh, right. Actually, I was thinking we could go for a drive." Billy mumbles nervously, hands slipping into the back pockets of his jeans. His leather jacket opens up revealing a dark blue shirt that's been left open at the first two buttons to reveal his chest. Steve's eyes rivet to it before shaking his head and averting his eyes. 

"A drive?" 

Billy shrugs. "Yeah, a drive. You've never gone for a drive in this hick town?" 

Steve scoffs, folding his arms. "A few times." 

"Well good. Then let's go." 

"Wait-" Steve stops him before he walks out the door.

"What's this about Hargrove? I thought you were serious about me and getting back on track with school stuff. Are you planning to tutor me in the outdoors? Cos I don't really like doing that cos it's distracti-" 

"Harrington," Billy growls, hands on Steve's bony shoulders. 

"Its just a drive. Now shut up and go put on some clothes. I'll be waiting in the car." 

Steve just turns and stomps upstairs to go find some jeans or some shit that's decent. 

_Fucking Billy Hargrove._

 

.............

 

When Steve realizes that they're pulling into the junkyard, he freaks. 

"Wait- ...Billy what the hell are we doing here?" The brunette gasps, unclasping his seatbelt and looking around wildly as if he's about to make a break for it. 

"Calm down Harrington." Billy warns the boy easily, squeezing his shoulder and then pulling his hand away like he's been burned. 

_Well, Steve is hot._

"No- B...Billy you don't understand. This is a very dangerous place to be in right now.." Steve stammers again, his pretty doe-eyes wide and glistening with a kind of fear that couldn't be manufactured or artificial. Steve Harrington looks as if he'd seen some pretty crazy things in his young life.

"What're you ta-"

_"Steve's here!"_

They're both distracted by Dustin's celebratory shout, the whole band of kids jumping excitedly out of the rusted, abandoned school bus and barreling towards the Camaro. Steve opens the door and steps out, hands on his hips- Mom Mode on. They all screech to a halt in front of him. 

"Whoa!"

"Just _what_ do you think you're doing here?"

They all blush guiltily, side-glancing at each other. Dustin chuckles nervously, his smile wide and incredibly sheepish. 

"Hey Steve... we uh-... we wanted to surprise you..." Will stutters after a sharp elbow from Mike. They knew Steve had a soft spot for the Byers kid. But boy were they wrong if they thought he wouldn't let them have it.

"Guys, this place is dangerous. You _know_ that. Why would you risk yours-?" 

"Any stricter and I'll have to get you a badge and a uniform." 

The voice catches Steve completely off-guard and he has to blink a few seconds before realizing who said it. 

"Wh-... Hopper?" 

Behind him, Billy curses under his breath. 

"They're safe Steve. And we're all here to have fun." 

That was Nancy who'd just stepped out of the bus with Jonathan and Mrs Byers. Steve's just dumbfounded and confused now. 

"Guys... what the hell is going on?" He mutters uncomfortably, folding his arms tight around his body as a cold breeze whisks past them. He turns back to Billy who looks just as perplexed as him. 

"Don't look at me I'm ready to punch one of these kids for not telling me the fucking _police Chief_ would be here." The blonde grumbles eyeing Dustin with a dangerous glint in his eyes. 

"We just thought you needed a break from being stuck in a room with Hargrove doing nothing but stupid work so voila." Dustin grins, his smile priceless and cheeky. Steve can't even stay mad at him.

"Yeah, we figured you needed the day off so, we planned this whole day to have fun and catch up." Max adds, her cheeks blushing and her smile genuine. She's pointedly ignoring the daggers Billy sends her. 

"And you're a naturally boring person so we decided on the classics, water gun fights and tag." Mike snorts in that crass yet sincere way he always did and it makes Steve grin just a little. Ok, Well a lot.

"And whichever side wins, they get to decide your punishment." Lucas snickers and Steve narrows his eyes suspiciously at him, squinting in the evening sunlight.

"What're you planning Sinclair?" 

"Just as an aside, just letting you know that Jane's on our side." Hopper boasts childishly and Steve's face drops in shock as the little girl steps out from somewhere behind Mrs Byers. He glances back to Billy who's currently arguing with the dipshits and then turns back to Hopper. 

"Is it safe-?"

"Yeah kid. It's safe enough for one evening. I know they were planning this for you but I think we can all use the break." The Chief tells him quietly as everyone starts gearing up. 

"Yeah but... does Billy know?" He can't help but ask.

Hopper sighs. "He only knows that Jane's adopted. Doesn't seem to care about anything else after that."

"Oh."

"He's a good kid. Has all the manners of a raccoon but yeah, he's alright."

Steve chuckles at that as they both turn to see Billy aiming a water gun at Max's head, drenching the kid. It's a bunch if excited squeals and laughter after that.

The evening ends up being a mess of their little ragtag group trying uselessly to assemble two teams against each other to get the show on the road. Billy tries to excuse himself from all the fun because bits weird hanging with people he didn't really know that well. He's an outsider, he knows that. But Lucas and Max drag him back into the battlefield as they hide behind rusted and hollowed out cars trying to take out as many of Hopper's team as possible. It's Steve, Billy, Max, Lucas, Will and Nancy against Hopper, Joyce, Jonathan, Jane and Mike. For a while Steve's team have the upper hand, especially with Billy who's aim is as good as Hopper's. But then Jane and Mike- power couple that those two were started going in on them with Hopper and Joyce as dangerous reinforcements and then it's all over. The whole game turns into a splash fest and Steve can't even be angry that his hair is now all soaked to hell. 

"Okay guys, how about something to eat hm? I bet you're all hungry." 

Joyce Byers is an angel among humankind and the food is incredible. They'd set up a picnic sort of table in the grassy part of the junkyard and had covered it with a red and white plaid table cloth. Billy sits next to him and Steve can't help but feel affected by the other boy's warmth. He's taken off his jacket cos it's soaked and now he's just wearing a white t-shirt that clings to his body and his hair's all wet and curled up even more. 

"Quit staring pretty boy." 

It takes him a few seconds to realize what Billy had murmured softly to him and he quickly blinks and looks away, cheeks burning. 

"Sorry. I was just... your hair's all curly." He mutters quietly, smiling despite himself. Billy chuckles.

"You should see yours." 

Steve smiles and shrugs knowing that his hair probably looks worse than Billy's so it's a moot point. 

He nudges the boy with his foot under the table anyway and blushes as Billy nudges him back. 

"So how have you been honey? I know school is probably unbearable right now." Joyce asks as she bites into her sandwich. 

"Uh yeah, it was for a bit... I'm fine now though." He answers honestly.

"Billy's helping him too." Dustin adds and Steve almost chokes. 

_How the hell did they know about that?_

He eyes Billy down but the other boy evades his gaze. 

"That's great."

The chatter starts up about other random things and Steve let's himself get absorbed in all of it. He's tired of thinking and overthinking. Just wants to enjoy this moment while it lasts. He notices Jane eyeing Billy with that deep frown she always got when she felt angry or threatened and it's a bit unnerving. Could she sense Billy's aggressiveness? Did she feel threatened by him? He hopes she doesn't toss him across the junkyard with her telekinesis. 

"What's with the curly haired kid with the angry eyes?" Billy whispers to him, breath tickling his ear. 

Steve swallows for a minute, glancing at Jane before shaking his head.

"Nothing."

"Then why's she staring daggers at me like I kicked her puppy or something?" 

Steve plays it off with a nonchalant chuckle and a slight wave of his hand. 

"So Steve, are we gonna see you after this? Or are you gonna awol again?" Dustin questions, his voice a mean syncretism of genuine concern and dry sarcasm. It makes things a little awkward at the table as everyone looks to him for an answer. His hands start to shake and he accidentally drops his fork, wincing as it clatters on the plate. 

"I'm... um, ...I don't..." 

That's it. 

He doesn't know what to say. Or what to do. It's like he's evaporating under everyone's stares. Joyce looks pained, Nancy too. Jonathan looks bored out of his mind- Steve's grateful for that and the kids all look a bit hurt and pissed, especially Dustin. Only Billy and Hopper appear to be sympathetic, quietly focusing on the food on their plates. He lets out a small whine when he realizes he's still stuttering like a floundering fish and feels his face grow heated with embarrassment. 

Because what could he tell them? What could he say that would make them all understands that there were serious risks involved? That Matt would kill him if he ever saw or _heard_ of Steve visiting the kids again. They were a real source of contention between him and Matt, no matter how insensitive and mean that sounded. He couldn't lose Matt- couldn't lose another relationship again. After Nancy, he was a cracked pane of glass. But if Matt ever left him, he'd be in shattered and scattered pieces on the floor. 

He couldn't-

"Guys he's gonna be busy with all the work I've got him doing. School's orders. Sorry, but as soon as I'm done, you can have him." 

That's Billy. Billy Hargrove speaking whilst quietly holding his hand gently under the table. Steve glances down at the sight of their connected limbs and feels Billy squeeze his hand reassuringly. When he blinks up at the boy, Billy quickly untangled their hands and grunts pointedly before taking the last bite if his sandwich. 

Dustin lets out a damning and defeated sigh of concession. 

"I'm sorry. I forgot that you actually have a life outside of hanging with us." 

"Yeah, we just really miss you." Lucas smiles slightly.

"Even if you're totally annoying and don't know jack about D&D." Mike adds and they all break out in laughter. 

"And you have great taste in music." Will amends, his haunted eyes sparkling brightly at Steve who immediately feels terrible. 

"But _terrible_ taste in tutors." Max jokes snidely at Billy who narrows his eyes at her. 

Steve snorts at that and nods.

"Well you're right about that. Look, I miss you too guys. I'm sorry about how... distant I've been lately but don't ever think for a second that I've forgotten about you. You guys are my family, 'kay?" 

Everyone reconciles after that. 

..........

The sun casts a butter golden light down over Hawkins as the group prepares to leave. Steve, being the good boy that he is, stays to help Joyce and the others pack up. Billy retreats to the sacred refuge of his Camaro so as to not overstay his welcome. The hype of the day has died down and he's well aware that the only reason he's being tolerated was because he was the closest to Steve at the moment. He's not _that_ naive. The metal clinking of his Zippo is a comfort as he lights up a cigarette, patiently waiting for Steve who is currently wrapped in the arms of Will's mom. Billy can't help but notice how unnatural and squirmy the pretty brunette looks. 

_Steve's parents never home._

"Hey kid." 

"Sh- fuck!" Billy hisses as the Chief leans casually against the passenger side. It's a minute before his blue eyes widen at swearing in front of the cop. 

"It's cool. I'm not _that_ kind of cop." 

Billy sighs. "That means you don't have a problem with this?" He gestures towards the cigarette. 

Hopper shrugs. "Just don't do it in front of any other cop. But, that's not what I came here to talk to you about." 

_Gulp._

"No?" 

"No. I just wanted to say thanks for taking care of Harrington. God knows that kid needs it. Hope you really mean it." 

Billy frowns. "What d'you mean?" 

"Lets just say I know why Joyce is exactly one dinner plate short in the kitchen cupboards." Hopper answers, looking around the junkyard, shoving both hands into his pockets. 

Billy blanches visibly and stiffens in his seat. 

"Don't worry about that Chief." He spits harshly, sliding on his aviators. 

Hopper sighs, walking away as he does, but not before clapping Steve on the shoulder. They exchange some fuzzy words for at least five minutes and then Steve's tumbling into his Camaro, endearing smile on his pretty face.

It's pretty hard for Billy to think of anything else when Steve looks at him with bright, sparkling doe-eyes. 

"What Harrington?" He barks out, but it has no real bite to it. 

Steve looks beautiful in the evening sun. 

"Thank you for this evening Billy." The boy says and Billy...

...Billy's never felt so warm before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drop a comment below so that I'll know if you liked it and if to continue this story ...


	11. Been Trying Hard Not To Get Into Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As bonds grow, the tension flows. Steve's too forgiving for his own good and Billy finds himself becoming more and more vulnerable. Hes like a caged bird when he lets people get too close. How long is it going to last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of my assignments are over! So happy I can wrote again...

Been Trying Hard Not To Get Into Trouble 

 

Neil had been extra mean lately for whatever reason Billy wasn't quite sure of. He didn't even care anymore though. He'd stopped trying to find out what he did wrong to make Neil angry ever since he turned fourteen. Nobody made Neil do _anything._ He was just that mean and Billy hated him for it. Hated the man ever since his mother died and it seemed like those feelings stuck with him ever since. 

Apparently he was just an overall disappointment. He'd forgotten to take out the trash, he'd gotten a B- in Physics, he wasn't hanging out with Max enough. It was always _some-fucking-thing_ with Neil Hargrove. Frankly Billy was sick of it but there wasn't much he could do but wait it out until graduation. There was no one who could help him and no one had ever taken his side. They always just looked at his attitude and decided that he wasn't worth the fight. No one in his corner. And he'd accepted that a long time ago. 

"Who were you talking to on the phone?" 

That was Neil, ever so curious about his personal life. Susan and Max were out of town visiting Max's grandparents so it was just him and the old fossil. Fucking worst case scenario _ever._

"Aunt Cassidy." He mumbles, stabbing his fork into a piece of chicken. He hated having dinner with his Dad. It always felt like a fucking interrogation. 

"What'd she want?" Neil snorts, wiping at his mustache with a table napkin. 

_None of your business,_ is what Billy really wanted to say, but he held his tongue. 

"She was just checking in. They put up a memorial in the paper." He mutters instead, feeling his chest clench uncomfortably. This wasn't a topic he liked discussing with Neil- _at all._ April 24th, the day his mother passed away... the worst fucking day of his life. Of course Neil couldn't let him just have this one time. 

"It's been ten years, I think they ought to get over it." The man grunts obnoxiously and Billy immediately clenches his fists. 

"Just like you got over it?" He grounds out, pointedly looking at his glass of water instead of Neil who fixes him with a cold glare. 

"Don't you take that tone with me boy. That family is always bringing up the past as if it'll fix anything. You're better off without them putting stupid ideas in your head." 

Bill scoffs. "'Least they _care_ about-" 

He stops at the sound of Neil's fists pounding the dinner table, making the glassware clatter. 

"What? Were you going to say that they care about you? Don't be so naive Billy. They think you're just as pathetic as they thought I was. I was never good enough for that family and you're never gonna be either. You cut off any communication with them you hear me?" 

"They're all I have left of her!" He yells and from the glint in Neil's eyes he can tell it was the completely wrong tone to use. He's out of the chair and again at the wall in seconds, Neil glaring down at him. He's breathing hard and there's that sort of mad look he always gets in his eyes when Billy's riled him up. He opens his mouth to speak and his tone is grave and dangerous. 

"Now I'm only gonna say this one time; you stay the hell away from those people, understood?" 

Billy barely struggles under the man's powerful grip and tries to even out his panicked breathing. Neil's forearm is a heavyweight against his chest. 

He receives two hard smacks across the face for his troubles. 

_"I said is that understood?!"_

"Ye- ...yes s..sir." He grunts out, trying to block his face from his father's onslaught, tasting metal on his tongue. 

"You're just like your whore of a mother- nothing but trouble. No wonder you miss her so much." 

Neil lands one more punch out of spite and just for good measure. It makes tears spring to Billy's eyes and he can just tell it's going to bruise later. Neil grabs up his keys and his jacket, motioning at the dinner table.

"Clean up this mess and then go to bed. I don't wanna see you for the rest of the night." 

 

...............

 

Steve's got a terrible habit chewing on his lower lip until it's sore. 

He knows that. Usually he'd gnaw so much on it that the skin would peel and there'd be a little blood. He remembers Carol calling him a chipmunk one time for it. He also remembers her saying he had adorable cheeks but... that was besides the point. He chewed on his lips when he was nervous. 

The numbers on the page were starting to move the longer he stare, pencil gripped tight in his hand but his body, unmoving. He could feel the page crumpling under his fist as he blinked for the second time in three minutes. This wasn't making any sense! Nothing ever did in math. He wondered how the hell it all looked so easy when Billy did it, but when it was his turn the numbers turned into hieroglyphics and his brain disappeared. He swallowed, his throat a bit dry as he glanced at the blonde who was standing by his window, looking off into the distance. His left arm was folded over his torso while the right hung lazily off the windowsill, a smoking cigarette pinched between two fingers. 

Lately, Billy's been a little off. Steve realized it a few days ago but he didn't mention anything. It wasn't his place and besides, it was probably him just over-imagining things. But something about the boy's demeanour seemed different. When he came over, he didn't offer Steve that warm, easy little whisper of a smile like he used to. Now, it was just a _"hey Harrington..."_ and then a curt _"later"_ when it was time to leave. Even their tutoring sessions had become a task to get through because of the tension he emanated. But Steve took it all in stride- one, because he didn't want to aggravate the blonde, and two, because he was afraid Billy would become uncomfortable and ditch him for not minding his business. 

He really couldn't stomach another person leaving him. 

But that also didn't mean that he had to like it. Billy was intentionally taking snide little jabs at him every time he came over. 

It started with a harmless; 

_"Hey Billy."_

_"Let's get to work Harrington."_

To just being blatantly rude and obnoxious.

_"Come on Harrington, if you wanna graduate and keep that psycho you call a boyfriend, you've got to at least pass this test. Every guy wants a smart girlfriend."_

It was as if Billy was trying hard to get a rise out of him. And the more Steve ignored his childish antics, the more irritated he became. Steve would just show his annoyance by flipping a page extra hard or by leaving the room to get a drink or something. He'd give himself a pep talk in the kitchen and then go back to his room, with an even stronger resolve. Then Billy would catch his drift and eventually stop his heckling by going completely silent, Which was even worse than the snarky comments. It all happened so fucking fast, Steve felt like he was on a rollercoaster, trying to analyse Hargrove's attitudes. 

What made Steve sad was the fact that just a few weeks ago, Billy had given him one of the best days of his life. He'd been able to come out of his empty house and be with his family again. The people he loved the most. Billy had done that. He'd actually sat down with a couple of middle schoolers and had planned out a surprise. And Billy had seemed so comfortable and content that day, sitting next to him and secretly holding his hand- even if it was for a few seconds. It felt genuine. And it was. Steve knows it. He just doesn't know why Billy always has to second-guess everything now. 

"You done yet?" 

Steve breaks out of his tortured thoughts to glance at the blonde whose back is facing him. He's still looking out the window, cigarette burned down to its filter. The brunette flinches a bit when Billy rounds on him, electric blue eyes piercing him through and through. He shakes his head and clears his throat guiltily, glancing down at the blank paper in front of him. 

"Uhh..." 

There's an exasperated sigh from the blonde as he goes back over to the bed, collapsing on it tiredly. Steve studies him while he writes something on the paper. His thick brows are drawn into a tight frown and there's a tension in his jaw that makes it seem even sharper. The vein in his neck is bulging, almost as if he was pissed at someone. Most likely it was Steve but, Jesus everything about Billy was angry and volatile right now. 

"Quit _looking_ at me Harrington and focus on the goddamn paper." Billy bites out and Steve shrinks back a little. The boy doesn't seem to notice- just goes on scribbling out numbers and letters and calculations. 

"Alright, I've done the first part of the question. The _easiest_ part. What do we do now?" 

Steve frowns and tries to make sense out of Billy's extremely neat handwriting. 

"I've opened out the brackets Harrington, what do you do next?" .

"I-..." 

He looks at the paper and racks his brain hard. _What the fuck do I do now? Find the inverse? Add the fucking letters? What type of equation was this agai-?_

"We did this last week Steve, what d'you do next?" Billy demands again, his voice raised and aggressive now. 

Steve _hates_ it when he gets like that. He hates being yelled at cos even though he's not particularly fragile, people screaming at him made him want to cry. He bites down on his lip to stop it from quivering as Billy pushes him again. 

"What do you do next-!"

_"Stop yelling at me!"_

Steve doesn't mean to shout but he feels some satisfaction when Billy flinches slightly from his voice. But Hargrove doesn't back down. He stares Steve down like a predator, as if one word would cut his trip wire and send him ballistic on Harrington like the last time. A low growl erupts from his throat. 

"We've been working on this for the past few days Harrington and you can't even open out some fucking brackets. _Christ you're the dumbest person I've ever met."_

Steve gasps as a sudden silence is forced between them and can't help the way his face falls as the seconds go by. 

He feels as if he's been slapped in the face. 

His lips are sealed together tightly, to stop them from quivering. He doesn't want to cry, but he feels it coming on anyway. His chest constricts and he glares at Billy with wet, dark eyes. For his part, Billy doesn't even look apologetic. His mouth is screwed up into a nasty sneer and his eyes are cold, like ice chips staring back at Steve who slowly gets off the bed. 

"I'm stupid." He swallows resolutely, all the fight leaving him. Billy frowns slightly at him but his glare is still as cold as ice. Steve walks across the room to his door. 

"I know I'm stupid- that's what everyone tells me, all the time. But I didn't need to hear it from you too." 

He briskly leaves the room before Billy can see his tears fall, hiding in the solitude of his parents' room, the door locked behind him. They've got a huge bed and thick, cozy quilts but he just resigns himself to the carpeted floor. Curls up against the door with his head in his hands. His shoulders shake with the effort it takes to keep his sobs silent but he lets a few whimpering cries out anyway. 

About twenty minutes pass until he hears hard footsteps pounding down the steps. A few seconds later, the front door slams shut. 

_So much for that friendship."_

................

Walking the halls of Hawkins High was usually a power trip for Billy Hargrove. He'd become immune, almost numb, to the hungry stares from all the cows and the glares of envy from the jocks. He was the epitome of everything Hawkins was not. Hot, sultry and oh so cool. From the minute he'd stepped foot in the drab town, everyone had been on his dick. Thirsty for any morsel of attention he'd spare them. Desperate for his approval.

Well, everyone except one person. 

Steve didn't show up to school today- not that Billy was looking out for him but he still felt some type of way when he realized the other boy was MIA. Of course, he wasn't naive enough to think that what had happened between them last night had nothing to do with pretty boy's absence. Billy _knows_ that he was wrong. _Knows_ that he shouldn't have said what he said. It was the lowest blow a person could take and Steve absolutely did not deserve any of it. But, just like typical Billy, his anger got the best of him and once again, he took it out on Steve. 

He saw the broken and totally lost expression slowly form on the brunette's pretty face the second those words left his mouth. Saw those pretty, brown doe-eyes glass over with tears that refused to shed until he left the room to go hide wherever it was that he went. The damn house was so big, it would take hours to find him. And besides, usually when Steve left the room because of Billy's terrible attitude and overall obnoxious mannerisms, he would come back with a stiff smile and they'd get back to work. But last night, Billy pushed his limits and now it felt like they were back to square one. 

Sighing hard, Billy slams his locker in frustration, unable to get Harrington out of his head. He _hates_ the way the boy has become a part of his fucking life. Hates that he thinks about Steve being with Matt on a daily; imagining the way Matt holds him, touches him, _kisses_ him. It's disgusting sometimes, the envy he feels when he imagines what they get up to in Steve's bed. How Matt makes Steve moan and whimper. Whether he was a screamer or one of those tiny gasps and moans type. He _wanted_ Steve and he couldn't have him. And that sucked-

"Billy?" 

It's only his pride that keeps him from startling like a fool as he rounds on whoever the fuck just interrupted his daydreaming. 

"Wh- ...oh, hey Wheeler." He mutters awkwardly, continuing his stroll down the hall. Nancy keeps up next to him, getting a couple if weird looks from her fellow schoolmates. He wasn't friends with her. They'd only spoken a few times at that little surprise Max and her nerd friends had planned for Steve. He wonders what her deal is since he's never been one of her favourites. Hell, _he_ wasn't one of his own favourites. 

"That looks bad." She murmurs, gesturing to the dark purple splotchy blooming across his left cheekbone. Neil's doing. Precisely why he'd acted like a total dick towards Steve that night.

He shrugs uncomfortably, "It's not." 

They walk in silence for a minute or two before he decides to cut to the chase. 

"There a reason you're following me to class?" 

She shakes her head and sighs. 

"So, you know Mrs Byers and Hopper have been planning that dinner for the longest while?" Wheeler says, clutching her books tight to her chest. Billy's not gonna lie, if he wasn't so fond of Steve, he's pretty sure he would've had Nancy on his radar. She was a cute brunette with huge blue eyes that he swore sparkled. And she was pretty funny, not that he cared. But damn, it seemed like he had a thing for cute brunettes. He coughs awkwardly, trying to get rid off his embarrassing thoughts. 

"Yeah, what about it?" He grunts casually as they enter Chem class together, Billy automatically holding the door open for her. They receive a few odd looks from Tommy, Carol and some chick he fucked called Miranda. 

"Well, the kids and I were talking and we were thinking that maybe you could, join us." Nancy reveals, shrugging her shoulders in a sort of suggestive way. Billy pauses at that. 

"Me? No, Max couldn't have agreed to that." He snorts taking up residence at the back of the class, frowning slightly when Nancy sits next to him. 

"She did. She says the others feel like you're _growing_ on them." She jokes pulling out a notebook and some pens. Billy _has_ to laugh at that and he earns a confused look from Tommy. He pipes down. 

" _I'm_ growing on them? I don't even know their names."

"Well in that case, Dustin actually said you were growing on them like a fungus so..." 

Billy snorts and can't help the smirk that cracks his seemingly permanent scowl. 

"Okay, I think I know that little shit. He's scary." He confides, shuddering at the thought of the creepy kid with the curly mop and hat. 

"He's a sweetheart. You just don't know them that well." Nancy chuckles, her smile, infectious. 

"Yeah you're right, I don't." 

"And that's exactly why you should come to the dinner." 

He sighs- she's got him there. 

"I'll... think about it." He finally concedes but she perks up at that anyway. 

"Great! And I'm sure Steve will appreciate the company." 

_Great. His mind- again- immediately goes to that place where all it does is think about Steve Harrington._

He was so fucked. 

...........

Steve groans tiredly as he slumps onto his work desk, his cheek pressed up against the page of his notebook. His room is a mess of crumpled up paper and eraser dust, bottle of energy water and granola bars. There are clothes lying about the floor and his bed's not made up but instead looks like someone's been romping in it a bit too much. His hair's a total disaster and he's got dark circles under his eyes. 

It's been approximately two days since the little yelling contest between him and Billy. 

Steve hated the way things were left but he couldn't help but resent Hargrove immensely. The guy was a dick for sure, that was undisputed. But he was also a dick who was smart and articulate and he wasn't stupid like Steve. He could have any girl he wanted and he could possibly get into any college he wanted because not only was he charming, but he also had an IQ of probably nine thousand. Steve couldn't even _hope_ to measure up to even half of what Hargrove was worth. And that made Steve mad, because it only made him admire the blonde more. 

He'll be the first to admit that being called "dumb" wasn't the best premise to start his little Billy Hargrove fanclub, but, the truth was, Steve had always been a little envious of Billy's popularity ever since the boy moved to Hawkins. He was everything King Steve _used_ to be and then some. The whole basketball team was wrapped around his little finger and Tommy and Carol had obviously found a new friend in him. Steve Harrington was old news. Or in the immortal words of Nancy Wheeler, "bullshit." 

So, for the past two days he'd excused himself from school- partly to avoid Billy and partly to practice the fucking quadratic equations from hell. And so far, ...nada. Nothing he tried was working. He was always off by one letter or one figure and it frustrated him to no end. He could and would never be like Billy. Even if he tried his best, his best was just not going to cut it. So his resentment grew until it pushed him to the point of exhaustion and he eventually given up. 

Because he _wasn't_ ever going to be like the perfect fucking Billy Hargrove.

_Ever._

 

................

 

The evening had started out smoothly enough. 

Billy was working on his car out in the yard, Neil inside the house drinking beer and musing upon last week's newspaper. Things were still tense between them as it always was after a fight. They hadn't spoken to each other since that day and Billy was fine with that. God, any opportunity to completely ignore Neil was a blessing that he accepted without hesitation. He'd be stupid not to. 

Bryan Adam's _Run to You_ plays at medium from the speakers of his car while he's got his head stuck under the hood of his Camaro. The sun isn't that hot overhead so he's glad to work in some comfort but Jesus he hated appraising his car sometimes. He wasn't in the mood at all. His bed seemed much more appealing at the moment. In fact, anything would seem more appealing right now to him because of the fact that he had another tutor session with Steve in a few hours. 

His chest deflates noticeably at the thought of the pretty brunette and he snorts humorlessly, wiping at his nose, getting an unwanted smear of grease on his cheek. He was caught between ditching the whole thing and going over to the Harrington residence to apologize for being such a dick. Of course, the right thing to do was just fucking apologize and make amends before it was too late. He saw how hurt Steve was when those words came out of his mouth and he feels like crap about the whole thing. But that wasn't the only thing fuelling his repentant attitude. Nancy and those fucking kids expected him to be there for Steve. And so did the Chief. 

_When did you start caring for people other than yourself?_

Not you again. 

_Oh yes, it's me buddy. Missed me?_

Not really, no. And I don't care about them! I was just-

 _You were just what, Hargrove? Thinking about making good with Harrington so you don't disappoint those little dweebs. And Wheeler and the Chief. That's what you said right?_

No I-

_Face it buddy, you actually like those people._

Billy sighs, taking a water break as he leans against the side of the Camaro. Fuck it, the stupid voice in his head was right. He couldn't explain it but he'd grown close to the kids, especially with Max bringing them over to their house every other evening. And then there was Nancy who always kept in touch in the halls. Will said a few times that his mother had asked how he was doing, which was weird. And the Chief gave him a stiff nod everytime they crossed paths. They seemed to genuinely give a fuck about him and that made him both uncomfortable and warm on the inside. In some ways he began to realize why Steve had been so close with all of them and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't just slightly envious of that. 

But it wasn't his to keep and he had to keep reminding himself of the fact that no one was in his corner. The only one who'd been behind him every step of the way was dead...

And she wasn't coming back. 

_"And I told you to fuck off Henley!"_

Billy quickly reaches in and turns off the radio at the sound of his father's yelling. 

Who the hell was he shouting at? 

_"You never did..."_ His voice muffled out for a bit. 

_"Oh go to hell, you're just as much of a slut as she was! I told you not to call this fucking house again!"_

Dread filled Billy's gut as he realized what was going on. He drops his bottle and rushes inside, his heart beating like a bird trapped in a cage. 

"Dad, what are you doing?" He growls out with his teeth clenched tight, his jaw set. 

Neil rounds on him with the receiver at his ear. It was clearly Aunt Cassidy on the phone- she was the only one married to a Henley. Billy felt a heat erupt under his skin as Neil sneered at him. 

"I told you to keep them out of my business."

"Dad stop-" 

"Go to hell Cassidy! Leave my family alone and don't ever call this house again!" 

"Give me the phone!" 

"You fucking heard me!" 

"Dad! What are you doing?! Let me talk to her!" He pleads, literally feeling his mother's memory slip out from his grasp. Cassidy was his mother's sister and she'd always had a soft spot for him. If she was gone, then Billy truly had nothing left. 

"It's done boy!" Neil snarls, hanging up the phone. 

"I thought I made myself clear last time. But as always, you never listen!" 

The punch Neil deals him is a swift one that connects with his temple, making him black out for a second. He grunts harshly and falls to his knees. He struggles back to his feet and glares back at Neil. 

"You can't get rid of her!" He cries out as Neil grabs him by the collar. 

"If that woman ever calls this house again, I swear to God Billy I'll end you!" 

Another round of punches and he's a bruised mess. They're mean and calculated, a mean intent behind every hit. He tries to push Neil away but ends up crashing hard into a chair, doing his ribs dirty. Neil kicks at him and the steel tip of the man's boots catch him right in the stomach. Neil's never kicked him before so it fucking _hurts._ It's almost like Neil realizes this as well and so the hits stop coming. He hovers over Billy, his voice cold and menacing. 

"Get out of my sight." 

Billy's out of there before the man can make another move. 

 

...................

 

"What are you doing he-"

An abrupt pause.

 

"...What the hell happened to you?" 

Steve is caught off-guard the minute he opens his front door to find none other than Billy Hargrove standing in front of him looking like he had his ass handed to him six ways from Sunday. He'd honestly not been expecting the boy after what had happened and yet in some weird way he was glad that Billy did show up. 

Just- not the way he expected him to. 

He had on an old pair of jeans and a dirty white t-shirt that was smeared with some questionable substances. He didn't have his classic Billy denim jacket with him or his shades like he always did. His hair was a mess but his face bore the worst of what Steve knew was from a fight. And by the amount of blood caking down Hargrove's chin, he surmised it was a pretty bad confrontation. There was dark bruising under his left eye and a small trickle of blood running down his nose. His lower lip was busted and swollen, dark blood dried over the corner. Most of it looked as if Billy had tried his best to wipe away but ended up just making it worse. 

It didn't help that it was 5:43 in the afternoon- way past the time Billy usually got to his house. 

"We've got work to do, remember?" The boy just grunts before rudely pushing past Steve, dropping his bag down on the floor. 

"Wha- Billy, hold up." Steve struggles, locking the door quickly before turning to face the clearly jilted Hargrove. 

"We don't have time for your antics Harrington. Let's get to it-"

"Will you just wait?" Steve grumbles, annoyed. Billy shuts up with an equally annoyed huff. Steve actually looks cute standing there with his hands on his waist in _that_ pair of baby blue pajama bottoms and a oversized collegiate t-shirt. But Billy's not gonna tell him that. He's way too jacked up from that altercation with his Dad. Soft and cute Harrington isn't what he wants to deal with right now.

"What happened? Were you in a fight?" 

Billy rolls his eyes at the disappointing question. 

"Oh no Harrington. I was just busy frolicking in the courtyard and bumped into a tree. Are you done?" 

Steve folds his arms over his chest looking like a dismayed parent as he purses those pink lips, shaking his head.

"Tell me what happened." 

Billy scoffs with a humourless laugh that sounds dry and tired. He picks up his bag from off the floor and heads towards the door. 

"Screw this, I've got better things to d-" 

"Okay- Billy wait." Steve calls out softly, his hand on Billy's shoulder. The blonde promptly stills and shrugs it off. He turns around slowly and frowns hard at Steve. 

"What?!" 

Steve flinches a bit at that and it makes Billy feel sick. 

"Will you at least let me clean you up? I've got a first aid kit in the kitchen." He murmurs, huge eyes dark and pleading. Billy just wants to fucking get lost in them. Which is exactly why he should refuse and get the hell out of there as fast as possible but something holds him captive in Steve's softness. He avoids that doe-eyed stare and just grunts instead, ignoring how relieved Steve looks as he leads them to the kitchen. He goes over to the island and drops his bag carelessly onto the granite counter, taking up residence on the high barstools. Steve is _somewhere_ looking for the first aid kit.

Billy silently observes the brunette while he searches through the cupboards. 

Steve looks smaller for some reason- if that was possible- the boy was already skinny as fuck. The light grey t-shirt hangs off his lithe body like a drapes almost, it's so big. But his pajamas are tight and short, and they show off Steve's incredibly long Bambi legs perfectly. Billy tries his damnest not to stare but he can't help it. He wants to walk over there and pull Steve into his arms and hold him tight. He wants to run his fingers through the boy's long chestnut hair and listen to Steve's moans as he tugs on the strands. He wants to kiss Steve- not just on the lips but _everywhere._ He just really wants to bury himself in Steve's warmth and softness; to get lost in it until he forgets about Neil and everything that happened that evening. 

"Found it." Steve announces, bringing the white box over to the counter, sitting just opposite Billy, their knees brushing close. Billy quickly evades Steve's pretty eyes and instead looks down at the floor. He's not ready to look Steve in the eye, too afraid he'd break down in front of the boy. 

Steve for his part doesn't say anything, focused intensely on digging through bandages and gauze to get the sterile wipes. Deft fingers tear the packages open, pulling out a pure white towelette soaked in alcohol. It's not an unpleasant smell so Billy doesn't cringe too hard as Steve folds it in half. He feels Steve's eyes on him and his face heats up. He looks away for a second, shaking his head as if he couldn't believe he'd agreed to this. But suddenly Steve's fingers gently touch his jaw, turning his face back to him and Billy feels his resolve break. 

Not break. It fucking shatters. 

He blinks up at Steve and swallows indiscreetly. If Steve notices him staring, he doesn't make a big deal out of it and for that, Billy's grateful. Steve makes the first swipe across his cheek, the burn making him wince but he doesn't complain. He wasn't a bitch. He's had to do this for himself a million times. _That_ particular thought makes his eyes glisten a bit but he holds it in. Harrington is the _last_ person he wanted to see him cry. 

Steve takes another wipe and cleans up the blood around his nose. The boys fingers on his face feels incredibly soft and gentle. Everything about Steve is gentle right now and Billy hates it. Doesn't like being treated like he's fragile. The alcohol feels cool and refreshing on his skin though and the more blood Steve wipes away, the more Billy realizes his face hurts. He'd been numb before then. 

"You're not gonna ask what happened again?" He mutters unexpectedly and Steve blinks at him a bit in surprise just as he wipes at the corners of Billy's mouth. The blood's all gone but the bruises remain. Sanitizing his hands, Steve shrugs a bit too enthusiastically to be nonchalant like he's pretending. 

"I've never seen you walk out of a fight looking like this. Figured it was your Dad." He replies quietly, glancing up into Billy's eyes, the blue orbs piercing him through and through. Billy is a bit dumbfounded for a while before he clears his throat. 

_Damn, looks like Steve was smarter than he thought._

Speaking of which...

"I'm sorry... for what I said..." He starts awkwardly just as Steve looks away, capturing the boy's attention again. He sees the _exact_ time Steve's open demeanour changes into a more guarded and ashamed one. The boy shakes his head as if it means nothing. 

"It's cool, you don't have to apologize. You were right-" He starts but Billy isn't having _any_ of that shit. 

"No, Steve. No. I was wrong. I... I was angry and I- look, you didn't deserve any of that shit. Okay?" He says defiantly, blue eyes wide and insistent. 

Steve just looks like a kicked puppy now which is more adorable than it should be but Billy's not backing down on this one. The boy just nods his head instead, arms around himself as if he'd been overwhelmed by Billy's apology. 

"Okay." He mutters sliding off the chair to clean up the mess of bloody wipes on the counter. Before he could do that though, Billy's hands slide around the back of his neck, pulling him closer gently as their lips meet. 

Steve squeaks in utter surprise, his hands grabbing on to Billy's wrists as Billy pulls him closer. Hargrove's lips are devastatingly softer than he'd expected and he tastes the slight metallic tang of blood on the boy's tongue. He smells the dark, woodsy cologne and the sweat on the other boy and immediately his senses tune out everything else. Billy growls low in his throat as he slides off the chair, pressing closer to Steve's front. Its dark and hot and sensual... and Steve can't comprehend it all at once. The kiss shouldn't have been as hot and desperate as it became within a matter of two seconds but Steve heard himself moan softly before he pulled away and out of Billy's hold. 

"Billy stop- stop..." He whispers, panting as he takes a step back, almost crashing into the chair behind him. He has to hold out a hand back to brace himself from falling, his legs weak. 

Billy's eyes have gone dark and his lips are wet. He looks almost depraved for a second before shock comes over him and he mimics Steve in taking a harsh step back. 

"Shit- I... I didn't mean... I should probably go." He grunts awkwardly, grabbing his bag from off the counter. 

"Wait-!" Steve calls gently, a hand on Billy's chest, trying to stop him from rushing out the door in a panic. 

Steve swallows nervously, looking any and everywhere except for directly at Billy. He's a wreck and can't particularly think clearly at this point but he knows that Billy can't go home right now. Especially when his Dad beat him to a pulp. 

"You- ...you can stay." He insists, his voice barely a soft whisper. They're close now, standing face to face, Billy staring down at him while he blinks up innocently into his eyes. Steve _hopes_ he's not sending the wrong message even if he _was_ feeling insanely attracted to the blonde right now. But if he were being honest, being faithful to Matt is so far from his mind when Billy's gazing at him so fiercely. He _wants_ Billy to kiss him again. Wants to feel those hands on him again, pulling him close until their bodies are flush together and Billy's been infused into all of his senses. 

But he doesn't fool himself. He takes a small step back and keeps his hands to himself, biting his lip as he nervously blinks those huge, doe-eyes at the blonde. 

"You can't go back to that house Billy. At least not tonight. Stay here, please?" 

A heavy sigh escapes Billy who shakes his head and looks down at the floor, his curls falling in soft tendrils around his face. He can't look at Steve right now, much too afraid he'd snap again and try to steal another kiss. His resolve is fucking weak- in fact, it's been decimated by Steve and he can't work out the logistics of it all. Steve was way too good for him. And for Matt. None of them deserved the pretty brunette, yet they were both entrapped by him. 

*

An hour or two later Billy's fresh from a steaming hot shower and in his shorts. He'd refused to put on any of Steve's clothes, insisting that they wouldn't fit but secretly thinking that something like that was way too intimate. He wasn't going to go down that spiral. At least he hoped not to, he thinks, feeling his brain short circuit as Steve doesn't offer him the guest room. Instead, the boy just slides into his own bed, patting the other side suggestively. It was an innocent gesture that shouldn't have been so easily taken out of context but in their current circumstance, Billy felt his face grow hot.

Jesus Christ, this boy was going to be the death of him. 

His body grows warm as he slips under the soft blue blankets, Steve's own body shifting around to give him some space. He doesn't want to look at him but he does, as he settles comfortably, his head on the feather soft pillow. Steve's looking right back at him too, head resting on his hand as big, soft brown eyes regard him sleepily. Fuck, how could _anyone_ keep their hands to themselves when Steve was looking so pretty and soft? 

"M'sorry." Steve whispers to him as the lights go off. 

Billy feels Steve's warmth invade his space and suddenly the boy rests his chin on Billy's shoulder. His hand reaches out to touch... _something_ but he's unsure. Until Billy grabs the hand firmly before it could slip away, intertwining their fingers on his bare torso. Steve's hand feels so much more delicate and soft than Billy thought they would. Shivers roll down his body as Steve rubs his nose against his shoulder cutely, almost like a snuggle. 

Or a hug.

It shouldn't have made him this emotional but somehow he doesn't fight it as tears spring to his eyes, sliding silently down his face. 

Steve just holds his hand tighter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed...


	12. I Pray For This Heart To Be Unbroken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things that are good can always go bad... very, very bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Implied rape/sexual assault and drugging.

I Pray For This Heart To Be Unbroken 

 

_The silence that fills the room is a peaceful one that carries with it, the intimacy of two lovers._

It's around the fourth hour of the morning, just barely past dawn and the slowly lightening sky drapes the sleeping town of Hawkins in a fine, blue mist. Somewhere in the wilderness, an owl hoots excitedly and the wind blows a gentle whistle. It's freezing cold outside the Harrington residence. But inside Steve Harrington's room, it's warm and cozy. The thick pile of blankets is a big help but it's not why Billy wakes up feeling warm and content. It's not because the feather soft material of the sheets brush his skin deliciously either. And it certainly isn't the _teddy bear_ nestled close to his head between the pillows either. 

No.

It's because of the warm body pressed close to him.

Billy fixes his hooded gaze upon the sleeping brunette, tracing the lines of his pretty face all the way down to his neck. He memorizes the way Steve sleeps on his stomach, like a baby, with his face snuggled into his pillow tight. His hand stretches out of its own accord, caressing the boy's neck, his jaw, his face... His thumb touches the slightly parted lips, rubbing them softly. Then he cards his fingers through the soft chestnut hair, the long strands curling like liquid waves around his fingers. A lock of hair falls over Steve's face, over his closed eyes and Billy leaves it the way it is. Steve looks beautiful like that. 

Hell, Steve _is_ beautiful like that. 

It's only when he blinks a few times, does Billy notice just how _young_ Steve looks when he's unconscious. His face is pale and marble smooth, completely void of any tense veins or frown lines. He doesn't look particularly sad or discontented with his life and behind his closed eyes, Billy can pretend that there's a sparkle. He can pretend that Steve is happy and safe in his relationship with Matt. He can pretend that Matt treats him like the precious Princess he is and that he's never laid a finger him. 

That last part however, is nothing but a pipe dream. 

Matt's already put his hands on Steve- countless times and no matter how hard Billy's tried to stop it, Steve was defiant. He was so sure that Matt had good intentions when all Billy was sure of, was the fact that he didn't. Guys like Matt didn't deserve a sweet person like Harrington. _Billy,_ didn't deserve someone like Steve. He wishes he could try though. God does he fucking wish he could be the one to show Harrington just how special he was. He doesn't know _how_ exactly... but he sure as hell didn't want Steve to be stuck with Matt. 

"Mm," Steve suddenly murmurs under Billy's touch causing him to immediately draw back his hand. The last thing he wants to do is creep Steve out in his own bed. 

He shrinks back a little, putting some kind of space between them as reality starts to dawn upon him, and the thoughts he had in his head before- _gone._ Who was he kidding? Everyone knew he was trouble, no matter how many of the cows and the jocks at school were on his dick. That was just a phase- pretty soon, they'd all have to grow up and realize that his good looks and give em hell attitude was all a facade and a sham. A defense mechanism that he'd used to defy his Dad in an indirect way. Pretty soon, the girls like Tina and Gemma and Brie would forget about chasing him and go looking for someone who could provide stability. Someone who wasn't such a waste of space. And someone who was stuck in the perilous rut of violence and self-righteousness. Even the jocks would get out of their stuck ways and move on to bigger and better prospects. 

And then what would he be left with? 

What exactly did he have to call his own after he graduated from this hell-hole? 

_Nothing_... the answer was as simple as that. 

Max would be living her happy little life with her happy little family, Steve would either end up working for his father or tagging along with Matt for college and Billy? ...Billy would be bound to his car, lonely motel rooms and a lifetime of loneliness to look forward to. He had created this terrible habit of using people, making them feel good and then chewing them up and spitting them out without a second glance. It was only karma and the laws of the Universe that he be paid in kind for his evil deeds. 

A finger suddenly pokes his forgotten hand that's lying in between him and Harrington, abruptly waking him up from his dreadful thoughts. 

He turns to see long, dark lashes fluttering against prominent cheekbones to reveal a pair of sleepy and soft brown eyes. It stops his breathing for a second as Steve blinks himself awake, wincing slightly as his sight adjusts to the blue darkness in the room. He tries to conceal a tiny yawn but fails miserably, body stretching out like a starfish before curling up again, knees almost knocking against Billy's. Steve graces him with a cute and dopey grin and Billy almost whines at the way his chest soars. The boy pokes lazily at the silver ring on Billy's middle finger, scratching his nail against the cold surface idly. 

Billy can't help but grin at the endearing gesture. It doesn't mean anything- the gesture- probably just the actions of a boy drunk on seven hours of sleep. He stretches his hand out, catching Steve's fingers in between his. It becomes a tiny war of their hands, each finger fighting for position until Steve caves and just curls his hand into a fist and places it in Billy's much bigger palm. His big brown eyes are focused so intently on Billy's face, that he doesn't realize Billy's holding his hand tight until the boy's warm hand closes over his clenched fist. Billy looks up at him and suddenly their eyes meet. 

"Never woken up like this before." Steve whispers timidly, Billy's thumb rubbing at his knuckles.

Billy chuckles softly, raising a brow at him. "Is that a good thing?" 

Steve doesn't answer, just nods his head, a dorky smile on his face. He squirms closer, draping a long leg over Billy's, his hand on the blonde's face. The soft kiss that presses to his lips is unexpected and Billy finds himself pulling away fast. 

"Steve-" He warns but it's barely a rasp. He gazes down at the way his hand is on Steve's chest, just almost on his collarbone, pushing him away. But the pretty brunette doesn't take the hint. He goes in for a sweet kiss again and this time Billy's grip is on his throat, squeezing ever so gently, making Steve's eyes darken. The boy pants out- like he's turned on by this... like he's _thirsty_ for it. He swallows nervously and Billy can _feel_ the way his Adam's apple moves against his palm. It's hypnotizing. 

Until he rushes in for another kiss and Billy has to raise up off the bed on his elbows and push Steve away. 

"What are you doing?" Billy demands, sounding slightly pissed off even though his voice is still quiet. 

Didn't this happen yesterday? Except for the fact that the tables were turned and Steve was pushing him away? 

Steve shakes his head, those huge, brown eyes sad and glistening as he gets up to his knees, hovering over the blonde. His long dark hair falls into his face as he leans down and presses another desperate kiss to Billy's lips. Billy tries to push him off, grabbing him by the wrists but Steve's insistent when he wants to be. He wants Billy in a deep, carnal and starve-driven way that he's never needed Matt. It's confusing and makes his brain short circuit momentarily. He doesn't know what the _fuck_ he's doing. 

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, m'sorry..." He pants out in between kisses, apologizing for something they both don't quite understand. He brushes his lips against Billy's jaw, tracing down the line until he reaches that corded neck, pressing dainty little pecks on the heated skin. Billy's grip on his wrists is bruising but he doesn't care, he _wants_ him. He's never been so hungry, so desperate for something before. The attraction he felt for Hargrove in that moment was dangerous but he wanted it. He wanted more of it. Wanted Billy's hands on him. His lips, his _everything-_

"Stop... Steve, don't..." Billy rasps against his lips but he doesn't want to hear it. His rough, calloused hands run up and down Steve's body, from his face, to his neck, his shoulders and his waist. His fingers squeeze tight, coaxing a soft moan from Steve's throat. Billy enters uncharted territory when his hands slip down lower and lower until they reach Steve's ass, squeezing him firmly there. The whispered, _"yes"_ that leaves Steve's mouth has them both blushing profusely.

"Want you. Please... _please..._ " Steve keens and it ignites a fire deep within Billy that grants him the strength to flip them over until Steve is squirming underneath him, his pretty Bambi legs spread wide. He devours Steve's mouth, shoving his tongue down the boy's throat without waiting for permission. Not like Steve was going to stop him anyway; especially with the way he's rolling his hips to meet Billy's crotch, desperate for some friction. There are fucking warning bells going off in Billy's head but he can't seem to break out of the spell Steve's cast over him. 

_Stop._

What- ...why? 

_This is going to blow up in your face buddy. It always does._

Oh great! Now I finally have him and you expect me to let him go?

_Don't be so dramatic. I'm telling you this is going to make things worse. He's with Matt._

I don't give a fuck about Matt! 

_This is going to hurt the two of you._

Suddenly Steve is scrambling out from under him, catching him totally off-guard. 

"Ste-" 

"Shh!" Steve hisses as he reaches over to pick up the phone that's apparently been ringing for the last thirty seconds. Billy snaps his mouth shut and watches as Steve straightens himself, his back to Billy before answering a bit too enthusiastically for the wee hours of the morning. 

"Hello?... oh,... hey b..baby," Steve murmurs softly into the phone and suddenly Billy's brought back to reality fast and hard. 

It feels like getting smacked in the face with a slab of concrete and then having ice cold water poured all over him. Matt. He'd forgotten about that piece of trash. 

_I tried to tell you._

He just ends up sitting there for a while, willing his dick to go down while studying the back of Steve's head. The boy was twisting the phone cord nervously around his fingers while looking guiltily down at his lap. Billy could see the tension in his slanted shoulders. Could hear the regret in his voice.

"No, no... you didn't wake me. I was... just getting a glass of water..." 

It shouldn't have hurt as much as it did, but Billy fucking _felt_ it. A glass of water? Really? 

_Well what d'you expect him to say? That he's been sleeping with you and was about to get fucked when his 'boyfriend' called?_

Billy shakes his head before slipping off the bed as inconspicuously as possible. He _knows_ he can't be angry right now. At Steve or at douchebag Matt or even the fucking voice in his head. _He's_ the only one to blame. He shouldn'tve gotten into Harrington's bed in the first place. Should've just fucking kept walking last night. Should've pushed Steve away this morning. Should've just kept to himself. 

"Wait- you're _here?_ " 

He freezes. 

The tensions seems to build up within Steve for a minute before his shoulders relax again. 

"Yeah yeah, no, of course I'm happy you're back baby..." He murmurs softly and that's about all Billy can take. He slips on his jeans fast, buckling the belt without zipping it up, his dirty, greased t-shirt hanging around his neck. He grabs up his car keys and practically sprints out the room. 

*

"Of co-" Steve's about to say before he sees Billy darting out his door. 

_Fuck._

_"Steve? You still there?"_

"Um, yeah, yeah I'm here. Sorry, just... sleepy." He replies and almost winces at his terrible lie. His brain is split between listening to Matt and fighting the ginormous urge to run after Billy. 

"Well, I'll see you at school tomorrow okay?" 

"Okay, later. Love you." 

It's a quick dash down the stairs after he hangs up the phone, his breathing heavy and laboured as he searches for the blonde. The rumbling growl of the Camaro is ominous and makes a slimy, cold feeling of dread slide down Steve's throat. 

"Billy-!" 

He's too late... the car is gone.

...just smoke and mirrors.

 

................

"Here you go son," Officer Powell says cheerily, handing over a sealed envelope to the blonde, curly haired kid leaning irritatedly against the desk. 

"Thanks." Billy grunts grabbing up the vague, brown package, eyeing it suspiciously. There was only one name on the front, _Neil Hargrove._

"I'm sorry but- what is this? What business does my Dad have with the Hawkins Police?" 

"Those are just the security files on an abandoned lab building that the Hawkins Mech Company requested. They've been contracted by the government to redesign and re-engineer the whole compound." 

Billy turned his head to the far left to see who was talking, knowing damn well whose voice it was. Chief Hopper was leaning on the door of his office, biting indulgently into a glazed donut. Billy frowned but then shrugged. His dad was an engineer for the Hawkins Mech Company so he guessed it would make sense that he'd be involved in whatever it was that Hopper had just told him. He still found it weird though... Neil and the police having a cordial relationship? That was kinda unheard of for a man who usually avoided security personnel that weren't the military. 

"Hey Chief." He finally grunts, his eyes narrowing as Hopper beckons him to his office. 

He's hesitant at first but then shrugs and decides against his every instinct which was to run out of the frigging station and go home. 

"Have a seat." Hopper offers, gesturing towards the chair opposite him. 

"Look, I've got practice in a couple hours, what's this about?" He mumbles a bit impatiently but Hopper simply blinks at him casually until he sits. The envelope crinkles as his hands wring and intertwine anxiously in his lap. Jesus, was this another warning? He could assure the Chief that he _definitely_ wasn't going to be a bother to Harrington anymore since Matt was back. 

"How's school been?" Hopper grunts awkwardly, looking just as uncomfortable as Billy felt. The Chief was known to be a no-bullshit guy, so why was he beating around the bush now? Billy straightens himself upright in the chair. 

"School's been... okay..., why?"

Hopper dismisses him with a casual flick of the wrist, shaking his head. He's _clearly_ hiding sonething. 

"Just askin." 

"Just... asking..." Billy slowly deadpans. He's emotionally unstable and his patience is running out. It seems like Hopper can sense that too. Why the fuck did he want to check up on this kid again?? Oh, that's right; fucking Joyce asked him to. Jesus, where did his balls go? He was no good with kids, especially angst-ridden teens like the one in front of him right now. Joyce _suspects_ the kid of something but she won't tell him. So he's none the wiser but he figures he'd find out soon enough. Billy _had_ grown closer to their little ragtag group. 

"Uh, never mind. Take care kid. Tell Max that Jane said hi." 

He resorted to the easy way out of the awkward conversation/interrogation and though it was a coward move, Hopper was sure he'd made the right call. If his assumptions were right, then Billy wouldn't appreciate a one-on-one, heart-to-heart like this. The kid was troubled, but he didn't need to feel cornered into confessing whatever the hell was going on with him. He'd do so on his own time. 

Thankfully, Billy gracefully saves face and spares him a cringe of discomfort before nodding in mock salute. 

"Later Chief." 

 

................

"Shit- fuck! _Bitch!_ Missed you so much babe..." Matt grunts, hips thrusting rough and hard into the smaller body beneath him. 

Steve's bare legs are wrapped around his waist and he's panting and keening as his own hips grind upwards in response to Matt's thrusts. They're crammed into the backseat of Matt's dark green Chevy, in the parking lot of Hawkins High. Steve's aware that it's quite possibly the _worst_ place to gave sex with his boyfriend... especially on a Monday when the compound is totally packed with students. But, in his defense, Matt put forward a very convincing case whereby he relayed the desperation of not seeing Steve in so long and th- 

Okay, fuck it, he was sexually frustrated after that whole dealing with Hargrove and he _really_ hadn't seen Matt in so long that he was _hungry_ for it. He needed a good dicking and besides, he felt like he earned it, after waiting for Matt to return from his vacation. He'd told the other boy that much. 

"Fuck m'gonna cum!" Matt growls into his ear, teeth biting down hard on the delicate and dewy skin of Steve's jugular, making the smaller boy wail out in response. Steve can _feel_ the hard cock pulsing inside him, emptying inside the protective later of latex. Thank God he'd convinced the guy to wear a condom because he seriously didn't want or need to be walking the school hallways with his ass leaking cum. 

"Yes- oh fuck! M'cumming! Matt-!" He whimpers out, his back arching prettily as molten pleasure cracks through his body like lightning, electricity shocking every nerve and muscle in his body. His hips spasm a couple of times before he's all spent out, thick streaks of white on his pale stomach. He bites his lips, moaning indulgently as Matt grins down at him, leaning further to plant a rough kiss on his lips. They're a sweaty pile of tangled limbs and hot kisses on damp black leather but Steve finds himself chuckling as Matt's tongue burrows its way into his mouth, his arms wrapped around his boyfriend's waist. 

"Blech, now my stuff is all over your stomach." He grimaces jokingly, eyes taking in the sight of his cum smeared across Matt's slightly hairy abdomen. 

Matt chuckles along with him, taking a tissue and cleaning the both of them, discarding it in a plastic bag sitting at the bottom of the footwell. 

"Don't act all grossed out like you didn't enjoy that _filthy_ fucking session you prude." 

"It was filthy." Steve muses shyly, eyes glazing over as he looks off into the middle distance, one arm stretched to prop up behind his head. 

"Bet you never did anything like this with any girl before huh?" Matt smirks, fastening his belt, dark jeans low on his hips. Steve's pretty doe-eyes take in the magnificent sight, laser focused on those sharp and defined hipbones. He bites his swollen lower lip. 

"What? You mean fuck? I've done it loads of times with a lot of girls." He scoffs, grinning as Matt struggles to return some semblance of decency to his lower body, trying to pull Steve's own jeans over his hips. 

"How many did you fuck in your car though? Hm? And, in the parking lot in broad daylight?" 

Steve rolled his eyes. "Alright, fine. I've never done _this_ with any girl. You're my first." 

Matt grins like the Cheshire cat, finally fixing Steve's jeans on his hips, zipping and buckling the boy's belt. He settles his weight over Steve's body and kisses him deeply, mouths hungry against each other. 

"I quite like the sound of that. Being your first and all that." 

Steve smiles softly at him, sighing as they both come down from the sex-driven high they'd worked themselves into. They're both shirtless, bare chests rubbing against each other, Steve's nipples are tingling. He feels Matt settle on top of him, burying his face in Steve's neck. Steve's own fingers are carding through Matt's short blonde hair slowly, indulgently. He blinks up at the ceiling of the car, the light beige colour blurring as he grows sleepy. 

"M'glad you're back." He whispers slowly, intimately in Matt's ear that even _he_ believes it. 

It's funny how Billy's eyes suddenly show up in his mind, dark and glowering blue. 

 

..................

As fate would have it, today was Steve's first day back on the court. 

Coach Bell announced it for the whole team, much to his displeasure and embarrassment. He was nervous. His legs felt like rubber and his coordination was disgustingly off. Matt was there though, his green eyes guiding him, encouraging him gently. A soft pat on the back, a sexy wink here and there. And soon, he was drenched in sweat, his t-shirt clinging to his body as he dribbled the ball around, getting back into the groove of things. His soaked hair fell into his eyes, his pink tongue out in concentration. 

"C'mon Harrington! Lemme see you hustle!" Bell hollers from the sidelines just as Steve moves in closer on the net. Matt's on team skins, along with Billy who's been suspiciously reserved for the entire evening. He hasn't seen the blonde all day at school despite them having at least three classes together. It was easy to assume that Billy was avoiding him after that _unnerving_ night they spent together. Steve feels the hot blush rising to his cheeks as his eyes meet Billy's for a millisecond before a hard body crashes into his left side, stealing the ball from him. 

_Matt._

The jock shows off a bit, doing runs with the ball before sinking a three pointer. Their team celebrates with obnoxiously loud hoots and cheer and Steve can't help but roll his eyes, hands on his knees as he curls over to catch his breath.

"Too bad Harrington." Matt teases, nudging him in the ribs before brushing his hands tenderly over the back of Steve's neck. He can't help the stupid grin that adorns his lips or the happy sparkle in his eyes. 

At least- until he blinks and looks across the court to see Billy snorting and purposely turning his back to them. His grin falters then and he quickly averts his gaze before Matt notices. Bell calls a break and the team disperses and migrates to the coolers. Billy keeps his distance however, grabbing his water and standing off to the side closest to the gym's exit doors. Matt pulls him to the benches and hands him his energized fruit water. 

"You okay?" He throws out there casually, eyeing Steve a bit suspiciously after gulping down a good mouthful of his own drink. 

Steve quickly shakes his head and nods a bit too enthusiastically. "Yeah. I just- ...uh, first time back y'know? It feels a bit tiring." 

Matt grins and shakes his head. 

"I bet. You were out for a while, it's gonna take more than one practice session to get back in the groove. Don't worry." Matt placates, running a hand through Steve's dark, damp locks. He blushes and dips his head slightly, cheeks burning, acutely aware of the electric blue gaze scanning him up and down. 

"Yeah, I kn-" 

Bell's loud voice interrupts him. 

"Alright ladies, we're gonna wrap up early today. Staff meeting and all that, but those of you in Trig, Stats, Chem and History still have class. So shower and head to class quickly." 

There's a collective groan from the team but they still reluctantly head to the showers. Steve manages to shower by himself, neither Matt nor Billy in sight. He's a bit thankful for the space but he isn't sure it's what he wants. Pretty soon he shuts off the steaming water and settles on the bench to pull on his clothes. The loud, booming sounds of jockish laughter and mindless chatter echoes all around the locker room. Most of it is Matt recounting everything weird he'd done in Texas. Steve's happy for the momentary piece of quiet to dress. He needs time to think. Time to plan everything he's going to say to Billy when he gets the chance. His nerves are fried though, as he pulls on a dark pair of jeans and a dark green sweater. 

"Hey babe." 

A smooth hand slides up his back, rubbing and massaging at the tense muscles there. His eyes flutter shut for a second before he turns around and is greeted by a curt kiss from Matt. 

"Hey." 

"Gotta head to class now 'kay? I'll see you at three." 

"Okay, have fun." He sighs, reaching up on his tiptoes to plant a sweet kiss on the boy's lips. Matt chuckles, a low and sultry sound that makes his jeans stir. He quickly pulls away and Matt takes his leave with a couple of the other guys. 

*

Fifteen minutes after the locker room, he finds Billy at the back of the school smoking on a cigarette. 

He's leaned up against the wall with the crackles white paint, one leg propped up while the other is planted firmly on the ground. Aviators are on his face, covering his eyes and his hair looks perfect in the evening sun. Those light blue jeans fit him skin tight, his denim jacket seamless on his broad, muscular shoulders. He looks like something out of a magazine. Steve can't help but think, _'California Boys!'_ He sighs and shakes his head. He couldn't chicken out now. They needed to talk and he felt like he really needed to apologize for that whole night. 

"Never took you for a stalker Harrington." 

_Shit._

"I wasn't... stalking." He murmurs, shoving his hands in his pockets as he approaches the other boy. 

"What d'you want?" Billy sighs, taking a deep drag, thick white smoke blowing from his lips like a dragon. Steve stands, mesmerized for a while before he manages to shake himself out of it. 

"Look- ...Billy, I-" 

"I know what you're gonna say, pretty boy. It's cool. It was one weird night, I shouldn'tve been at your house and it was all a mistake. No need to stress over it. It's cool." Billy interrupts crassly, dragging a bit harder on his cigarette. He jaw is doing that ticking thing it always does when he's pissed and Steve's a bit crestfallen. 

"It wasn't weird... you were hurt. I was just helping-" 

"I wanted to leave. You begged me to st-" He cuts himself off harshly, cursing under his breath as if he'd just confessed to a dark sin or something. 

"You should go to class Harrington. I can't imagine what'll happen to that pretty face if Matt catches you out here with me." He finishes cruelly, ignoring the hurt that flashes across Steve's face. To Steve's credit, he takes it in incremental strides. 

"C'mon Billy, we have to talk about this. I need to talk about this." He pleads, almost reaching out to touch Billy's shoulder but quickly restraining himself. 

"So talk. You've got, five minutes." Billy shrugs with much disinterest, not really checking the time on his wristwatch. 

"That's not enough time."

"Sure it is." 

" _Please_ Billy?" 

The blonde sighs, muttering something under his breath before dropping the burnt out cigarette to the floor and crushing it under his boot. 

"Fine. I'm supposed to be home by eight tonight but I can drop by at seve-" 

"Um, no wait, you ca- ...i mean, let's meet up at the library." Steve interrupts quickly, his face burning with sick guilt. When he looks up, he can see the mean glint in Billy's steel blue eyes. 

"Hm, lover boy's back in town so little Stevie's gotta tread carefully right?"

"Billy-"

"No, I get it. Gotta watch out for that one. He's got a real bad side, real mean fist. Am I right?" The blonde sneers, the disgust clear in his eyes. He snorts obnoxiously at Steve who's got his head hanging a bit in shame. The small brunette suppresses the urge to cry and squares his shoulders. 

"Seven, at the library." He murmurs before taking his leave, sniffling like he's got a terrible cold or something. 

Billy shakes his head and stomps off in the other direction. 

 

..................

Of course, Steve knows that _nothing,_ absolutely nothing goes according to plan in his life. 

Ever. 

"Matt I'm serious, I've got homework to do and I have to study for Carver's test on Thursday." 

They're in Steve's car but Matt's behind the wheel, Ray Bans on and the wind blowing in his face. It messes with Steve's hair, making the thick strands go all over the place no matter how many times he tries to tuck the pieces behind his ear. The engine purrs quietly, contentedly as they speed down the highway, the silvery mottled horizon of the dying afternoon sky rising up before them like an ominous beast. The sun is just about gone and there's a specific chill in the air that Steve can't seem to shake off. His nerves are shot and his hands are shaking. 

Matt made him do five lines before school was over. 

No.

 _He_ let Matt force him to do it. 

His body had gotten pretty calm for the few weeks Matt was gone. He hadn't felt for that fucking white powder the entire time until Matt got back and brought him into the fold again. Now his nerves were frazzled, there was a chill under his skin that went from ice cold to scorching hot every few seconds and the base of his skull was reverberating with some kind of numbness. The icy wind whipping at his face wasn't helping. 

"C'mon babe. Jeremy's been talking about this stupid fuck fest of a party for weeks. I need to be there." Matt begs a bit, but it's not convincing. He's already made up his mind and Steve knows just how things go when Matt's made up his mind about something. 

"Well, right. _You_ need to be there. I don't. Just take me home, please." 

He tries to keep the desperation out of his tone because fuck, no one was that itchy to go home and do homework. His truth was buried just on his lips; _Billy's waiting for me!_ He needed to get to the library before it was too late and Billy left. But, Matt couldn't know that. 

"Oh will you stop being a whiny bitch for two seconds? I finally get back and now you don't want to hang out. What the hell is that about? Huh? You got someone else waiting for you?" 

Matt's voice was pinched and hard and Steve could tell he was already pissed. He'd done about two lines back in the bathroom so that was less than what Steve did but Steve knew, better than anyone that it didn't take coke to make Matt turn into a complete psychopath. Okay, maybe psychopath was pushing it... but still. He quickly closes in on himself and avoids Matt's glare. 

"Answer me!" 

Steve flinches hard but keeps his calm. 

"Of course not." He mutters quietly, wet eyes blinking at the rolling scenery outside the window. 

"Don't spoil this for me Steve. I want to have a good fucking time tonight. You got that?" 

Matt's got a finger pointed on his face and Steve tries his damnest not to smack it away. 

"Yeah." 

A harsh turn to the right has the car pulling up on some random mansion like house just outside of the busy town of Blue Lakes. It's a residential area for sure, the kind of setting Steve's used to. He fights the urge not to roll his eyes as he hears the pounding of heavy metal and drunken cheers coming from inside the building. He'd never been here with Matt before but Matt's spoken a few times about his friends like Jeremy and Brian. They were in college, just two years ahead of Steve. He assumed they had the same type of mannerisms though; loud, aggressive and obnoxious. Steve's hands are shaking as he steps out of the car, Billy on his mind. 

"C'mon let's go." Matt orders, shoving a small baggie into his jacket pockets before slamming the car door shut. Steve follows like a little bitch. 

He _feels_ like a little bitch. 

* 

Twenty minutes later, there's a good amount of alcohol in him and his head is swimming. 

He can't remember who was waiting for him back home, doesn't seem too concerned as another line is drawn up for him. Matt's friends seem cool. Jeremy is clearly the top dog of the group, it's his house they're in. He's built big and muscley like Matt. And he's got blonde hair and blue eyes- Steve doesn't know why that sounds so familiar. Brian's a total douche with dark hair and dark amber eyes. He's sleazy and has tried to grab up on Steve at least twice since he got there. But it's all cool. Cos Steve's on cloud nine and all the worries he's had brewing in his confused head are suddenly gone. Non-existent. 

"Damn, you've definitely loosened up babe." Matt groans in his ear, sliding up behind him, pressing his crotch to Steve's ass. Steve grins and turns around, a bit tipsy but Matt's got him. 

"M'feelin _great_ baby." He slurs, eyes hooded and sore from all the smoke and alcohol. 

"Yeah?" Matt rumbles, dusting off some white powder from Steve's nose. The buzzed brunette nods and giggles like an amused five year old. He plants a wet kiss on Matt's lips, the dark green beer bottle almost slipping out of his grasp. 

"Woah there buddy, I'll just take that." 

Steve tries to retrieve his beer but Matt's got it out of reach. He feels his boyfriend's larger, warmer body press closer to him, pulling him in tight.

"C'mon, let's go have some fun." Matt rasps hotly in his ear before dragging him bodily upstairs into one of the bedrooms. 

"You gonna fuck me?" Steve asks seductively. 

Matt grins at him and slips out of his shirt. 

"You're being a complete flirt right now." 

He chuckles low in his throat. "M'feelin a bit _slutty_ for you right now." 

Matt grunts in response and shoves at Steve's chest. 

Funny how things can change in a matter of seconds. 

Steve's vision is blurred and all out of focus as he collapses backwards onto the bed. He can hear, no- _feel_ the thumping of the bass from the music blasting downstairs. The sounds and melodies are rather muffled and incoherent. He's had way too much of _everything_ tonight and now the world's starting to fade out. His stomach swirls a bit as his head sways from side to side. He feels a gentle hand clutching his jaw, sees a face hovering above him but it's all blurry. 

"M- ...Matt?" 

His own voice sounds unreal and detached to his ears. 

_"He's out?_

_"I think so..."_

_"Jesus Christ Danielson, you had me waiting all fucking night for this."_

_"Calm down Bourne, he's right there."_

A flash of black says past his eyes and he struggles to stay awake. 

"Matt?" 

There's suddenly a deep silence in the room besides the thunderous booming of the music. He doesn't feel good at all. A soothing hand on his chest quiets him slightly. He moans sweetly as Matt massages him gently, calming down his frayed nerves. 

"I don't feel so good..." He whispers drunkenly to the body lying on top of him. 

_"It's okay baby, I'm here. Just close your eyes."_

It's the fleeting second that he actually breathes deeply in relief that he loses much of his consciousness. His subconscious takes over and he's abstractly aware of hands all over him, loosening up the tightness of his clothes. His jeans are off and the room becomes ten times colder than it was before. His shirt shoves up exposing his chest and he whimpers quietly trying to close in on himself. 

"Stop..." 

Did he say that? 

It didn't sound like him... just an echo of a voice in the wilderness of his muddled mind. 

"Matt-" 

_"Fuck, can't he shut up?"_

_"Fuck you Brian. And go easy on him, I've still got to tap that when you guys are done."_

The last thing Steve hears before fading is his own voice gasping in pain. 

 

..............

Back in Hawkins, it's 9PM on the clock as Billy trudges up the steps of his front porch. One look into Neil's darkened eyes tells him how the night's going to go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Exams are finally over and I thank all of you who've been waiting patiently for an update. Much love. I am sorry.


	13. I'm Above  You Smiling As You Drown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy has some words for Steve who's got no one to blame but himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I know it's been a while since I've updated but yesterday I found myself in a Harringrove mood.

I'm Above You Smiling As You Drown 

 

_4:45AM_

The black, leather-band watch on his wrist says as much, the place so quiet, he can practically hear every time the seconds-hand ticks down the line. His eyes are blurry though, and the skin around them feel sore and swollen. His tongue is heavy in his mouth as he squirms on the b- ...the _bed?_

_Where the hell was he again?_

A soft groan sends vibrations through his chest and he freezes instantly, blinking blearily down at the heavy, muscled body lying on top of him. The first logical thought was Matt but careful inspection concluded that the jock with the dark raven hair currently lying on top of him was _not_ his boyfriend. 

_Wait- ..._

An uncontrolled gasp escapes his lips as he frantically scans around the room, dark brown eyes taking in the hung-over bodies lying motionless on the bed and on the carpet. They're all jock-looking guys, with their jeans belted low on theirs waists and no t-shirts. The one lying on top of him however, was down to his boxers... as was Steve. His lips quiver in disbelief and shock as he tries to squirm from under the heavy body. His muscles tremble with the effort, a telling soreness throbbing between his legs. 

"No..." He whimpers, ignoring the hot tears suddenly slipping down his face. 

The memories come back to him like a powerful wave in the sea. The kind that builds up like a fucking wall, currents pulling him towards it before crashing down hard overhead, pulling him under the rough tides. Matt had dragged him along for this... party, with his college friends. Ryan- no, ...Brian had been hounding him all night. Jeremy had tossed him a few interested smirks but he'd stayed by Matt's side all night...

_Didn't he?_

He vaguely remembers making out with his boyfriend before... 

_Before what?_

They got into Jeremy's room... making out...

_"I don't feel so good..."_

_"It's okay baby, I'm here. Just close your eyes."_

He can feel the goddamn hands unbuckling his jeans- 

A terrible wave of nausea hits him and suddenly he's actively scrambling to get off the bed. Brian grumbles as he rolls onto his side but his eyes remain closed. Steve tries his best to hold back the mournful sobs that wrack his body as he shakily pulls on his jeans, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling in his lower extremities. He's fucking leaking some guy's release- they didn't use condoms? Before he can yank on his t-shirt, the nausea takes over and he crumples onto his hands and knees, heaving dark yellow bile onto the beige carpet. 

"Fuck babe-"

He heaves a second round of alcohol and God knows what else he ate last night before glaring up at the person suddenly standing over him. 

_Matt._

The blonde moves to rub his back but Steve smacks his hand away with all the conviction of a wounded lion. He growls through the worst of the heaving as Matt stands silently at his side, a grimace on his stupid face. Steve's sure the vomit was going to stain Jeremy's carpet but he couldn't find it in himself to care. He struggled to his feet, again smacking the helping hand Matt offers, trembling as he slips on his t-shirt. 

"Baby-" 

_"Don't touch me!"_ He actually screams and for a second, Matt looks shocked, his green eyes widening in momentary surprise. The other guys in the room grunt and groan their way to consciousness and Matt looks a little sheepish. Not apologetic at all. Steve feels a hellish heat explode under his skin at that and snarls at Matt.

"Give me my keys." 

Matt sighs like he's dealing with a five year old throwing a tantrum and chuckles softly.

"Hey, hey calm down. It's okay, you-" 

"Don't _fucking_ touch me Matt! My keys-... Now!" He yells, shoving the taller boy in the chest, feeling a little satisfaction as he stumbles back. 

"Would you calm down?" The blonde scoffs tossing the keys at him. He struggles to catch them, glaring holes into Matt's face. 

"Calm down? You and your friends ra- ...you fucking _asshole_." He finishes weakly as the tears well up again. He shoves his way past the blonde, ignoring the half-hearted calls of his name from behind him. It's the way that he storms out of there like a bat out of hell, his shame on full display and his dignity on the floor in shattered pieces. A pained whine leaves his throat as he slams his car door shut, flooring the gas pedal. 

_He fucked up..._

He fucked up big time. 

 

......................

 

Billy's nursing his own hangover, unfortunately not one induced by alcohol but rather a vicious beating at the hands of Neil. 

He's lying on the dusty carpeted floor of his room, blood dried and caked down his face. His right eye smarts from a laceration on the corner while his nose throbs with the familiar ache of broken cartilage. He can barely breathe through the thing, the rusty scent of blood making him nauseous. It was both funny and fucked up how he thought he should be used to the smell by now. A pathetic groan that turns into a whine leaves his throat as he tries to sit up, his back protesting the sudden movement strongly. The sound of broken glass tinkling to the ground draws his attention and he sighs tiredly at the shattered mirror on the floor. 

_Of course Neil smashed his sorry ass into the mirror._

His mind is foggy but he knows exactly what he got that beating for. 

Punctuality was one of Neil's "Holy Grails" of being a stand-up man. After all, he was a father who wanted only the best for his children and if that meant shoving good habits and proper mannerisms down his fuck-up of a son, then so be it. So, Billy pretty much already knew his dogs were dead when Steve didn't show up at the library when he was supposed to. And the extra two hours later that he'd stayed waiting had only nailed a couple more nails in his coffin. He'd held out hope that Steve would stick to his words and meet him so that they could talk things over. 

And he got fucked over. 

A growl escapes him but he immediately freezes when he hears footsteps just outside his door. The subsequent knocking almost makes him jump out of his skin. Sometimes the day after a serious beating was worse than the actual beating. God, what was he- 

"Billy! C'mon, I'm gonna be late for school!" Max hollers from the other side, her small, stupid fists banging on his door as if it were some kind of drum. He shakes his head, trying to get the fuzziness out of his vision and the cotton out of his ears. The room sways crazily as he gets to his feet, a hand stretching out of reflex to break his fall. 

_Fuck he felt like shit._

"Billy!" 

"Alright! Shut the hell up ya twerp!" He growls drunkenly, shaking the glass out of his hair. He seriously doesn't mean to be so hostile to Max but her constant pounding on his door is churning his already upset stomach. His nerves are alight like live wires and his lip is swollen and purple. He's weary, pissed and there's only _one_ face in the world right now he wants to punch. 

He grabs his keys and stumbles out the door. 

"Bill- woah, your face..." Max starts, the softness of her voice making him feel that much worse. He cringes at her obnoxiously, eyes darting around the living room. 

"Where is he?" He demands, wiping at his bloody face with the wet towel she rushes to bring for him. 

"Left for work." She answers, green eyes assessing him subtly. He gestures towards the damp towel and grumbles a small, "thanks." She doesn't make a big deal out of it and he couldn't have been more grateful to have her in his life. 

"Alright c'mon, let's go." 

*

The ride is silent but he can feel the crazy, buzzing tension all around them. 

The feeling is way too familiar... like the way it used to be when he was taking out his anger on her and she sat there in his car all stoic and afraid until they reached home. 

He _hates_ that feeling. 

"You ate breakfast right?" He mutters mostly to himself but seriously hoping she heard him so that he doesn't have to repeat himself. She turns from looking out the window to stare at him for a second. 

"Yeah, mom made waffles." She answers after a while, taking out a small package from her backpack. 

"I forgot to give you this." 

He frowns down at it as she places it on his lap. "The hell is that?" 

He can practically _feel_ her eye roll. 

"I packed some for you, you douchebag." 

He sighs, leaning back against the seat as they turn into the parking lot. He hates the part of him that _makes_ him act like a total dick whenever someone does something nice for him. It almost like taboo for him to be nice to her but he's been trying to become a better person. 

"Max y- ...you didn't have to." He ends up saying under the breath of a heavy sigh, shaking his head as the engine cuts off. She grins at him hurrying out the door and slamming it shut before leaning over the window. 

"You're welcome." 

He shakes his head, backing out of the parking lot. A hot shower sounded like the right idea before he headed back to school. 

 

..................

 

Steve's absence sits like a glaring hole in his personal windshield, with him from the very moment he steps foot into first period. 

The brunette's seat looks terribly abandoned and vacant from its place in the corner of the classroom. It's the only desk that's shrouded by a shadow, the rest of the class exposed by brilliant sunlight. For some reason that specific imagery makes him feel a sliver of worry for the pretty boy but then his head throbs painfully from where Neil had slammed it into the wall and he feels an ugly rage fill him. He pointedly ignores Steve's empty chair after that and actually tries to focus on the topic at hand: Circle Theorems. 

"Hey, man, what the hell happened to you?" Colt Reagan whispers giddily to him as if he had some kind of cool story to tell. God knows he'd had to make up a bunch of stories over the course of his fucked up childhood to explain away the bruises sustained from Neil's abuse. 

But he's tired. 

"Shut up Colt." He mutters wearily, his pen digging into the paper idly. 

"Was it Matt? Did he mess up your face like that?" Tommy pushed, his grin just a little too self-indulgent. It's as if they were major losers- which they were- and were trying to live the "cool life" vicariously through him. He rolls his eyes, fixing them with a harsh glare. 

"No it wasn't-" 

"Matt's an asshole." Colt adds unhelpfully. Billy accepts the sentiment though, shrugging mostly to himself in agreement. 

"Don't tell me you were fighting over Steve again." Tommy chuckles, his annoying voice making Billy's fist clench. 

"Hey, where _is_ Harrington anyway?" Colt asks, questioning no one in particular. 

Tommy shrugs. "Dunno. Haven't seen him all day." 

Billy blinks dumbly for a while. "Maybe Matt knows." He can't help but snark, a bit begrudgingly. Tommy and Colt continue their little conversation that Billy tunes out in favour of focusing on his work. Thinking of anything other than Steve and Matt was the idea, before he turned crazy from the insidious anger boiling within him. He could hardly wait for gym practice, the opportunity to let off some steam _dangerously_ tempting. 

 

........................

 

Steve's been sleeping with his eyes wide open since he left Matt at that stupid party, so he doesn't hear when the door opens or when his parents call his name. 

He's lying in bed under the weight of his blue blanket, the air conditioning on full blast despite his windows being flung wide open. The weather outside is dark and dreary with the threat of a torrential downpour and dead leaves dance wildly in the thick grey wind. It's almost as if it's a physical representation of what he's feeling inside. His large brown eyes stare at nothing in particular, unblinking and haunted. They're bloodshot and sore from tears that had stopped a few hours ago. 

_"Steve?"_

That's his Dad.

_"Stevie?"_

He can barely register the sound of his mother's voice. They must have come back from their business trip. The thought passes through his mind with barely enough interest for him to react. He hears them call his name one more time before the front door slams shut. 

He's shrouded in silence once again, at the mercy of his morbid thoughts.

It's a task, trying not to blink because everytime he does, all he sees is Matt's face, laughing and grinning drunkenly at him while his college buddies use him for their own personal pleasure. He relives that horrible night all over again and it stirs up the remaining bile in his stomach. He almost trips over himself trying to get to the toilet but fails to anyway, only managing to make it to the trash bin by his desk before heaving into it. His knees dig painfully into the floor as his body curls over the bin, frail arms supporting him shakily. His throat contracts hard, causing him to gasp in pain as a feverish heat shoots up his spine and reverberates at the bottom of his skull. 

Tears spill from his eyes but he's not crying- it's just falling down his face like some kind of automatic spring. He shakes his head, stumbling to his feet as the phone on the sidetable rings. He glares at the thing hard, willing it to stop but it doesn't. It had been ringing a lot in the past few hours but he'd refused to answer a single call. He didn't think he could stomach a conversation with anyone at the moment, let alone open his mouth and talk. 

Becoming mute was the better alternative. 

But the stupid phone _kept ringing._

He picks up- ...his shallow breathing sounds scratchy over the line. Doesn't say a word until...

"Steve, c'mon babe I know you're there." Matt begs like the dog he is. Steve forces down a dry heave that was making its way up his throat at the sound of Matt's voice and shakes his head, tears cold on his face. 

He can't- _won't._

"Stevie? Baby c'mon, please will you stop being childish about this and just talk to me?" 

_Childish?_

Steve immediately sees red and flings the phone across the room. It hooks on the cord that's attached to the wall and jerks back with a loud crash. It's still plugged in and he can hear Matt's tinny voice leaking through the receiver. He picks it up again, wiping furiously at the wetness on his face. 

"-okay? Steve? Babe c'mon, I'm serious-"

"Leave me alone." Steve finally manages to choke out, cringing at how raw and broken his voice sounds. It's like he hasn't heard it in years. There's a sharp pause on the other end of the line before Matt replies. 

"Baby c'mon, I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry if things got a _little_ carried away at the party. Brian and Jeremy are jerks but they didn't force themselves on you. I was there the entire night." 

Steve can feel himself sinking slowly into a deep pit of insanity at Matt's claims, shaking his head in denial as if Matt were there to see it. A wretched sob bursts from his throat and he quickly slaps a hand over his mouth to keep from making another sound. The tears come back though and he hates the way they feel like they're a part of him now. 

"Stop." He chokes, "I don't want to hear this... I don't- don't ever want to see you... p- please don't call here again." 

There's a crack in the wall around the outlet where he yanked the phone's cord out of its socket. 

 

................

 

Billy only knows blinding anger by the time he pulls up at Steve's front door. 

He knows it's potentially dangerous, being _this_ angry. Hell, the last time he'd been so upset, he'd pummeled Steve's face into the ground. It was only ironic that he'd end up at Harrington's all pissed off and looking for a fight. His head plays Matt's dumb fucking voice on replay as he approaches the front door, his eyes electric and hard. 

Steve was gonna have to explain himself out of this one. 

The first knock goes unanswered, and the second and third ones after that. He damn well nearly splits his knuckles banging on the elegantly designed wooden door. 

"Harrington! I know you're in there!" He yells, pounding his fists in quick succession with every unanswered second that goes by. The sky is becoming darker overhead but he could care less. He needed to get this off his chest. 

Five more minutes pass before he hears the door unlocking slowly from the inside. It swings open slowly, meekly as if afraid to reveal what's behind it. His eyes are hooded as he glares at the person hiding halfway behind the wooden panel. His mouth opens but he pauses almost instantly when he notices how different Steve looks. 

He's pale- paler than usual and his hair sits atop his head in a mess of greasy brunette strands. But it's not really the hair that stops him; it's _everything else._ His eyes look tired and swollen red and his lips look chalky white. There are dark, bruise-like marks circling his eyes like some kind of zombie and his cheeks are sunken in, making him look hollow and dead. 

"Billy..." The brunette greets, looking sort of relieved. His smile looks forced but Billy doesn't really have the time or patience to assess his mannerisms. 

"Looks like you had a fun time at that party, huh?" He snarks, revelling in the flash of panic that dissolves the small smile on Steve's face. 

"B- Billy, wait-" Steve swallows nervously, a bony hand reaching out to plead his case. But Billy steps back fast, avoiding his touch. 

"You don't need to explain anything to me Harrington. I'm just some idiot who likes to get his chain yanked right?"

A confused frown adorns Steve's face and it's more than Billy can take right now. 

"What-" 

"I knew you were stupid but I didn't think you'd be dumb enough to fuck with me."

"Billy I don't even know what-"

" _Meet me at the library, six o' clock, we need to talk._ Does any of that ring a bell to you?" Billy snarls his hands clenching into fists. He barely even has the constitution to feel bad when Steve flinches back wearily.

"I'm so sorry I-" Steve starts again but Billy takes a threatening step forward, shutting him up effectively. 

"I didn't come here for an explanation Harrington. I came here to tell you that whatever it is you needed to talk to me about, it doesn't matter. Not anymore anyway."

"Billy- stop-"

"No!" The blonde finally screams, getting in Steve's face, his blue eyes alight with all the rage he'd stored throughout the day. Steve gasps in shock, stumbling back into his house. 

"I waited, for you. I waited for hours in that damned, dusty place and you didn't even show up-!"

"I'm sorry! Matt wanted-" Steve protests desperately, but Billy shuts him down again with a hard shove. He almost falls on his ass but his frail hands break the fall.

"Matt? Like I said, I didnt come for you to make any excuses. Matt told me about the party in gym class. Looks like you had the time of your life. I got this for being late, by the way." Hargrove growls, showing Steve all of his latest bruises like some kind of proud masochist. It wasn't like he was even upset abput Neil kicking his ass though; he was more furious about the fact that he'd become some kind of puppet Steve could pull on a string whenever he needed attention. The pity in Steve's brown, doe-eyes only makes him more incensed.

"I don't want your sympathy, Harrington. Yeah, Neil beat the crap out of me but it doesn't matter. I've had worse. But just know, that I'm done, alright?"

A sort of pained, longing whimper leaves Steve's lips at that and he tries again to reach for Billy who pushes him away roughly. 

"No please- I can fix this! Bil-"

"There's nothing to fix Harrington, _I'm done with you."_

Steve's still standing there completely shattered when Billy leaves and his parents return two hours later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy minhoy


	14. When I'm Gone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve once again finds himself in a downward spiral. Billy's got some of his secrets unturned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Falling back in love with Harringrove.

When I'm Gone 

 

It's a weird feeling for sure, when Steve finds himself having to hide how he truly feels from the people closest to him. 

He sits at the dining table, beneath the dimmed chandelier, diamond crystal shining in his lowered eyes as the chef brings out various dishes for their late night dinner. His mother, Judy Harrington had forced him out of his catatonic state after finding him standing in the doorway, their front door wide open, unmoving. John, his father of course couldn't be bothered that Steve looked like actual crap and had just muttered a frustrated "Hey son" as he shuffled past him. But Judy, always trying to act like she was the perfect mother had dragged him to his room and had ordered him to get ready for the beautiful dinner she'd planned for the evening. 

_A nice family affair after being apart for so long,_ she'd called it. 

"So Steve, honey, how has school been? You weren't answering any of our calls and we were really worried about you." Judy coos, her tone saccharine and sickening. It's mocking to his ears and he tries not to roll his eyes over the sound of clinking glass and metal. He watches as she nudges John sternly, as if forcing him to show interest in their son would make Steve feel loved or at least... worth something. 

John grunts, almost like he's dreading this talk. 

"Of course. Why weren't you answering our calls? You know how your mother gets." 

Steve _does_ roll his eyes then, stabbing at the well-done steak on his plate with his fork. 

"I was busy." He mutters, shovelling green string beans into his mouth so that he wouldn't have to respond to their pathetic excuse of a conversation. 

"Busy with school I hope." John grunts obnoxiously, cutting his medium-rare steak with much fervor. His face is creased and lined with the worry of a man who looked like he'd set himself up in a trap called marriage and was now regretting all the sins that came along with that trap; including Steve. He stares at Steve expectantly from across the table, his eyes sharp and narrowed unlike his son's which were round and doe-like... and innocent. 

_At least they once were._

"Yeah, exams and all that cr-" He freezes mid-sentence, blinking up to see John glaring at him. They'd been gone so long, he'd almost forgotten about his Dad's "no swearing at the table" rule. As if that rule excused him for cursing out loud whenever his secretary cancelled their "afternoon plans." John Harrington was the biggest hypocrite Steve had ever seen. 

He sighs, taking a sip of dark, red wine from his glass. 

"I got a ninety-four in my History make-up exam." 

Judy seems absolutely pleased and peachy with that piece of news- even though deep down he knows she couldn't give a rat's ass about it, so he takes her reaction with a grain of salt. But his dad... his father was _never_ pleased. There were very few things in this world Steve was certain could please his Dad and he was definitely _not_ one of those things. He needed a hundred and ten out of one hundred or nothing. 

_Case in point,_ Steve thinks as John shakes his head disapprovingly. 

"It was a make-up test, Steven. Maybe it'll be more impressive when you actually pass a test on the first try?" He snorts with a shallow smile that never reaches his eyes or his lips. Steve's clutch on his knife and fork tightens as he flares slightly, not in the mood or mindset to deal with his Dad's bullying. Judy- ever the uninterested peacemaker between father and son shakes her head with a distracted chuckle. 

"So, how is Nancy Wheeler? I'm surprised she isn't here. You two were inseparable." She asks reaching a perfectly manicured hand across the table to pat his arm. She barely even reacts when he pulls away from her touch. His jaw twitches hard and he suddenly doesn't have an appetite anymore- _not that he'd had one in the first place._ He's pissed off and confused and hurt and visibly in pain- the kind that leaves your stomach twisted and your chest numb- and they can't even see him when he's right in front of them. 

"I'm going to bed." He chokes, tossing his napkin on the table, his chair scraping back loudly against the opal tiles. 

"Oh Stevie, don't be like that. What's wrong?" Judy croons sadly, placing her glass of wine gently down on the table. 

"You sit your ass back down in that chair and don't spoil this lovely dinner your mother's planned for us." John growls, pointing his fork at Steve threateningly. The brunette glares back at the man, angrily returning to his chair as the chef brings out dessert, his full plate whisked away simultaneously. He can feel his emotions getting the better of him, bubbling up his chest like a wildfire and then slowly creeping up his throat. It's best just to blink the tears out of his eyes though and play happy family with two people he didn't even think he knew anymore. 

They didn't give a damn about him or his life. 

"Oh my! Hot fudge brownies and salted caramel cheesecake ice cream, your favorite." Judy celebrates with a huge grin and bright eyes as if that would make him all better. He didn't even have the energy or the guile to tell her that it _wasn't_ his favorite dessert. He watches as John digs into his plate, inhaling indulgently while Judy smiles at him like she's sick or something. 

Jesus it's _his_ life that's happening right now- right in front of him and he feels like an outsider. Like part of the audience watching as his mother and father act out their roles, pretending to eat dessert, pretending that they spend time like this often... pretending like they're a family. 

_"He's out?"_

_"Jesus Christ Danielson, you had me waiting all fucking night for this."_

His stomach turns. 

His fork flatters hard against the ceramic plate... his hands are shaking.

_"I don't feel so good..."_

_"It's okay baby, I'm here. Just close your eyes."_

There's a hand... touching him, unbuckling his belt- 

He hears the distinct sound of a frightened whimper and he glances up but all he can see is the blurred faces of familiar people, hovering over his paralyzed body like vultures. 

Suddenly his clothes are too tight, his body is shivering like it's winter again and he's cold sweating for no reason. His hands are shaking, hard and he swallows but there's a lump in his throat that seems to want out- now. 

"I don't- ...I'm gonna g-" 

The words dont quite come out like he wants them to and instead manifests themselves in the form of a few pieces of steak and string beans he'd had just a few minutes ago. He's throwing up on the floor, on his hands and knees- vaguely aware that he'd just fallen from his chair. He hears his mother's panicked, "Stevie!" and he tries to look up but is taken over by another strong convulsion that has him writhing like a worm on a hook. 

And he can't... 

He can't get the image of Matt's leering face out of his head. Everytime he closes his eyes he sees Brian and Jeremy and whoever else had given themselves permission to steal from his body. For a second though, he's granted a small mercy and when he closes his eyes, all he sees is black. But then, he opens them and suddenly he sees Billy... and his fierce blue eyes glaring holes into him, screaming bloody murder at him for being a lousy human being. 

_Or whatever they were..._

The last thing he hears before passing out are his own terrified sobs. 

 

................

 

"That little shit Max said something to you- _didn't she?!"_

Billy couldn't believe his fucking ears as he stood by the roadside, where _Officer Unfriendly_ had pulled him over. For Hopper's part, he'd stayed perfectly still and calm like the surface of water on some secluded forest lake. Billy on the other hand... was crazed and overcome with blinding anger at the man. How did he know about Neil? Why the fuck would Max do this? 

"Your sister didn't _have_ to say anything kid." Jim replies evenly, his voice thick and muffled from the cigarette trapped between his lips. He's leaned up against his police cruiser, chill as ever in his khaki uniform and sheriff's hat. The brim of it casts a dark shadow over his wolfish blue eyes as he carefully avoids the blonde's vicious glare, trying his best to light his cigarette in the gusty winds. 

"So what? You just took a wild guess?" Billy snarls, his haphazardly parked car a perfect metaphor for his own mannerisms. He's a mess and he's ashamed that Hopper had just basically called him out and he's got no idea what to do about any of it. His hands are propped on his waist, fingers curled into fists as if he's about to throw down and God knows his erratic ass would rather fight than face his demons. 

That was Hopper... his demon. 

"Bruises like those don't just happen after some stupid school squabble. You forget that I've been around for a while." Hopper says sagely, scratching at his beard nonchalantly which only serves to irritate Billy further. 

"Yeah well, that doesn't mean jack shit _Chief._ That's not what _this_ is." Billy scoffs, gesturing wildly to his black eye and heavily bruised right cheek. He kicks angrily at the dirt on the side of the road, spraying gravel and sand and grit on the flung open door of his Camaro. He doesn't even flinch when a stone smacks hard against his window, cracking his glass slightly. Jim observes the boy silently, puffing on his cigarette like a chimney, thick white smoke billowing past him. Secretly it's like looking into a mirror for him- a mirror that showed the image of his past self. A young Jimmy Hopper screaming and spitting vitriol at the first person to call him out on his bullshit for excusing his father's abuse for "tough love." 

The only difference between them, Jim guessed was the fact that Billy had the balls and the guts to hate Neil for his crimes. _He'd_ blamed himself for his father's behaviour for a long time. He didn't want Billy to go down that same rabbit hole. 

"I'm not here to tell you what to do Billy. God knows what I'm telling you is gonna go through one ear and come out the other-"

"So why bother?" Billy interrupts harshly, eyes flashing at the pack of cigarettes the Chief offers him. Jim sighs as the boy smacks the cigarette pack out of his hand and watches diaappointedly at the array of white sticks strewn all over the worn asphalt. He lowers himself down on one knee, patiently picking up the cigarettes one by one- pissing Billy off even more now. 

"Because, one day- umph- you'll get tired... _real tired,_ of your old man and decide to do something about it." Jim answers with a quiet but sound air that causes Billy to halt, brows furrowing more out of curiosity than confusion. He frowns hard at the police chief, chest heaving with the deep breaths it takes to calm him down. 

"Believe me kid, that's a road you _don't_ want to go down." 

"Why would I believe you?" The boy demands weakly. His voice doesn't sound so juvenile or impatient anymore but rather sounds like a desperate one, pleading for answers he's too afraid to ask the questions to. Hopper instantly recognizes it and rises to his feet, towering over the boy now, making his presence felt. 

"You don't have to believe me. Just know that I'm here, if you need a safe place to- ...to think things through before you do sumn' stupid." Jim grunts, kinda sounding like he's clearing his throat. He knows that unimpressed look on Billy's face, can see the retort formulating in the kid's head, so he quickly tips his hat, heads into his cruiser and dashes the fuck out of there before things blew up. 

In his rearview mirror, he can see the curly haired blonde just standing there in the cloud of dust kicked up by his wheels, solitary. The blue Camaro sits beside him, its bent wheels and open door like some kind of meaningful metaphor. 

"Not stupid?" 

He turns tiredly to Jane who sits up from the back seat, her curly hair mussed. 

"Oh, he's stupid alright. But I think he's smart enough to make the right decision. Smarter than I was. Thanks for telling me."

Jane offers him a reserved smile in the rearview mirror, her brown eyes bright and hopeful. 

"His Papa should be eaten by demodogs." She says innocently, folding her arms like a spoiled child. Hopper chuckles, tossing his crumpled up cigarette out the window. 

"Can't say I disagree with you there kid." 

 

...................

 

The shadows act like some kind of morbid television in the dark room.

They play along the dark blue walls with each light that passes, natural or otherwise. For the series of times bloodshot brown eyes have been staring at them, one would think they'd have names by now. Dasher is the one that keeps flitting across the ceiling, everytime a car passes by. And Silk... Silk is the one that's there all day, dipping, curving and dancing loftily like the waves on a calm shoreline. She only comes out in all her glory when dawn breaks. And she's there during the day when Mrs Harrington knocks on his door softly. 

"Hey sweetie, feeling any better?" She whispers to him but he ignores her. 

Silk is currently blinking along his windows in a frantic dash of movement. Must be the trees outside, billowing in the strong winds. He feels her long, manicured fingers stroking his damp forehead, removing the wet cloth from its place. He isn't sick, but he might as well be. School has been the last thing on his mind even though he was allowed an extension thanks to a call his father put in. But he didn't think he was ready to go back to that place and see Matt, cackling like a jackal with his idiot friends. And Billy- ...God knows he wasn't ready to see him again... _if_ Billy wanted to see him at all. 

_I'm done with you!_

He flinches as a ray of sunlight flashes over his eyes, but it's honestly a reaction to his memory. Billy's voice is as loud and as angry as ever and he can't seem to scrape his brain of the sound. Those are the times when he listens to his music too loud or becomes so engrossed in scrubbing the bathroom floors that he doesn't realise that his hands are bleeding. Time has become an abstract thing for him- fluid, like the way he spends his days practicing equations and cleaning his room until he can't think of anything anymore. 

He's pretty sure the world has moved on without him. 

"Hey Stevie. I brought you your favorite, beef lasagna." 

"Thanks mom." 

Like always, he doesn't have the heart to tell her that it's not his favorite but, whatever. This equation was enthralling anyway. He feels her planting a gentle kiss on his head and forces himself to welcome the touch no matter how much his skin crawls. It's an act and concept that's been difficult for him to enjoy in these past few weeks. Of course it was because he kept feeling strangers' hands all over his body, touching him, fucking him, squeezing him- 

Those days are the hardest. 

His screams aren't quiet enough and his tears are never-ending. When his parents are home, he has to stifle every single sob. At times, he finds himself in the bathroom, sitting in a tub of ice cold water, scrubbing at his skin until it's red and raw, bloody and damaged... and the water is pink. Other times, he's lying on the bathroom floor, coke smeared white on his nose and the door locked. He would hear his mother calling his name, or his Dad when he actually stayed around long enough to care. But their calls would go unanswered, just like the phone and _that's_ been ringing off the hook for the past four days now. 

Dustin, he supposes. 

It's weird when he thinks of the kids now. Like they're somehow tainted by memories of the demogorgon. And those demodogs. When he closes his eyes, in the absence of Matt and his friends and even Billy, he can see that horrid face, split into four bloody petals with razor sharp teeth and jagged claws. His dreams would turn into nightmares, the monsters chasing him and the kids, picking them off one by one until he tripped and fell into his own pool... the pool where Barb had died. Then he'd wake up in a fevered haze, remembering how Nancy blamed him for that and he wouldn't be able to sleep for the rest of the night. 

"Stevie?" 

The hesitant knock is met with complete silence as he merely blinks, hands at his sides as if he's in some hospital bed. Maybe he was and this was all just a-...no, it couldn't b-

Another knock. 

"Stevie honey, are you awake?" 

The door opens with a loud whine causing him to wince absently. Judy comes in with a paper in her hand and a glass bowl in the other. She sits beside him, nudging him gently with the bowl of cubed fruits. 

"I brought something for you to eat." She whispers, grinning proudly at him. He frowns at her, eyes sore and red from crying even though they're completely dry. 

"M'not hungry mom." He murmurs weakly, unable to gather the energy to feel bad as her face falls. 

"I'll just leave it here on the bedside table in case you start to feel a little peckish."

He gestures with his chin at the paper in her hand. "What's that?"

A sudden look of hesitation crosses her face briefly but then she concedes, handing it over for him to read. 

"It's the school. They're doing the best they can to accommodate you Stevie but there's only so much they can do. You can either take the year off or-"

"Why can't I just call in sick for the rest of the month?" He pleads, glaring hard at the paper in his shaking hands. He should really eat something. 

"It's been two weeks sweetie. They're going to need a much more solid answer than that. Now I know you hate going to doctors but Dr Richards isn't a bad idea." 

Steve regards her with barely disguised disgust. 

"I'm not going to a shrink mom." 

"Then it's out of our hands, Steve." 

"Our? Who's 'our'?"

"Your father and I-" 

"Oh please. Dad wouldn't give a crap about me if I was dying."

"Stevie, that is _not_ true!" Judy gasps, alarmed. 

He fixes her with a sardonic look. "Feels like it." 

An uncomfortable silence fills the space between them for what seems like an hour before Steve crumples up the letter from school and tosses it on the floor. 

"Forget it. I'll go to school." 

"Steve-"

"No, it's fine mom. I'm fine. Everything's _fine._ " He spits weakly, a caustic chuckle following his voice. Dark brown eyes glare silently out the window after that and his mouth sealed tight, a definite statement that he was no longer in the room. 

A few moments later, so was his mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't wait for s3


	15. Oh What Do I Do Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, he thinks, but did I change for the better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh it's been so long since I've updated but I really do live these boy's and this story so, here's another chappy!

Oh What Do I Do Now?

 

Demogorgons had _nothing_ on high school kids. 

It was a harsh and punishing reality that Steve had to face the minute he stepped out of his Dad's new- but utterly _used _, 1961 Chevrolet Impala. The first thing that really hits is the glaring sunlight, beating down upon his brow as if it held a magnifying glass over him alone. It figured, since he'd been holed up within the shadowy confines of his room for weeks. Regardless, the second thing he notices as distinct and almost frightening, is how populated the parking lot appears. Teenagers in their jeans and sweaters with piles of books clutched tightly in their skinny, breaking arms. He doesn't miss the way eyes immediately _rivet_ to him at the slamming of his door. The hairs on the back of his neck start to prickle and he has to close his eyes for just a second to pull himself together. __

___Get over it man!_ _ _

___This isn't the first time you've walked this compound!_ _ _

__He hears a few muted whispers and exaggerated laughter that makes him cringe inwardly. Did his face have something on it? Was there not enough Farah Fawcett spray in his hair? _Did everyone know about what had happened at that party- ...?_ His blood literally chills at the thought and he has to lean against his car for support. The thought itself is _mortifying_ and he grits his teeth, trying desperately to tamp down his urge to puke all over his car's candy red paint. Sure, his physical bruises had healed and disappeared after a certain period of time; but the _mental scars_ ...Jesus, the emotional wounds just couldn't seem to let him go. _ _

__"Hey Harrington."_ _

__The unfamiliar voice shakes him out of his reverie and he snaps up to stare at a group that had stopped on their way to the assembly hall to _ogle_ him. _ _

__"Hey man." Steve greets awkwardly, shifting uncomfortably under the guy's bold attention. Alex Tennisson, Steve remembered; a popular guy who hung out with the jocks but was secretly a nerd. His group consisted of Tina Grey, Dave Sutherland and Rory Sitwell, some more well-known sources of gossip in all of Hawkins Middle school. He had a foreboding feeling in his stomach that they'd only come over to ostracize him but half of him also hoped- _prayed_ that they would be kind. _ _

___But,_ they did say that hope bred eternal misery so... he should've expected the jab that came out like a sincere inquiry of Steve's well-being. _ _

__"Shouldn't you be wearing a straitjacket?" Alex sneers, his grin mean and proud, as if he'd spent hours coming up with that joke._ _

__"We heard that you went crazy and had a mental breakdown." Rory confesses, looking as scandalized as some of the reporters when they'd covered the story of Will Byers. The forced smile on Steve's face vanishes just as quickly as it came, the brunette tracking their backs as they walk off cackling. He rolls his eyes, fingers nervously digging into the silver chrome trimmings lining the doors of his red car._ _

__This shouldn't be so hard; _it really shouldn't!_ _ _

__But it was._ _

__His brown, doe-eyes search the area, wide and hurt; but anxious nevertheless for a familiar face. All he sees though, are people he'd rather see in a Demodogs's mouth than as his friends. Turns out being popular really did have its perks. And just like that, he'd lost everything. He gulps with some difficulty, shaking himself of those petulant worries. He accepted the fact that he'd been replaced; _he accepted that._ But acceptance and reality were two, _very_ different things. _ _

__The familiar rumble of a car engine demands his attention and he can't help the way his heart stops when the dark blue Camaro pulls into the parking lot. His eyes trace the blonde Californian as he steps out the car, forever looking gangsta in that white shirt and those tight fitted blue jeans. Steve's heart aches a little harder than it had been for the past few weeks and for a second he has half a mind to hop back into his car and get the hell out of there. But as Max heads towards the assembly hall, and Billy stays behind to fidget with something, he knows this may be his only chance to make things right._ _

__He quickly scans the area around him before making a beeline for Hargrove._ _

___What do I say though? Hey, I'm a stupid, selfish bastard. I forgot you and went to that stupid party and got myself fucked over... literally. I'm sorr- ...what am I sorry for again?_ _ _

__"Harrington."_ _

__The sharp voice that spits his name cuts through his thoughts like a knife. He flinches visibly but doesn't chicken out, shoving both hands in his pockets as a stiff, cold wind blows across the lot. A large surge of force allows him the dignity to look up at the blonde's face but he's disheartened to notice the cold detachment in Billy's expression._ _

___Gulp._ _ _

__"H- ...hey, Billy."_ _

___That was weak... And you croaked._ _ _

__He hates that stupid voice in his head._ _

__Billy's silence is unnerving to say the least but he presses on, albeit awkwardly._ _

__"I'm um- ... er- glad I caught you-"_ _

__"You look like shit." The blonde remarks crudely, his blue eyes raking down Steve's significantly thinner body. He's got on a pair of oversized blue jeans and a black hoodie that sags a bit around the neckline. Probably not his best- ever- but he didn't feel like doing his hair or making himself pretty these days. Hell, he could barely even _look_ at himself in the mirror without throwing up. _ _

__Billy grumbles again._ _

__"What d'you want Harrington? Thought I told you t-"_ _

__"To leave you alone, yeah. Sorry, I guess I just couldn't... couldn't leave things the way they were." He stumbles over his explanation and it only seems to piss the Californian more. The stoic eyebrow raise from Billy begs for him to press on and he wrings his hands together nervously. God, he felt like such a _fool_ now. _ _

__"I have to fix this- _...please_..." _ _

__He doesn't mean to sound so whiny and desperate but it happens anyway. He secretly figures that his recent isolation made him crave communication and support. Things he never thought he would've needed had it not been for Matt and his horrible friends. What they'd done to him... was starting to take its toll, pounding at the walls of his skull until he screamed hard enough for the memories to go away. But the silence only lasted a few moments._ _

__Pretty soon they'd return... as long as he was alone._ _

___So weak._ _ _

__Billy regards him silently, his eyes hooded as if he were looking down on Steve._ _

__"I don't want you to fix anything Harrington. I said I was done, and I meant it. That wasn't me trying to be cryptic or difficult. I'm just done with- ...you... _this..._ with everything." _ _

__He gestures the space between them._ _

__"But-"_ _

__"We shouldn't have ever become friends, is what I'm trying to say Steve. We were better enemies."_ _

__Steve's stunned to silence by the finality in Billy's voice and it's... _evaporating._ It sucks and he feels his chest twinge uncomfortably at the thought that he'd ruined his already rocky friendship with Billy... someone he'd come to actually... enjoy. It's a losing battle he realizes, as Billy reaches into his pocket for his Zippo. The words- begging ones- but words all the same, die in his throat and leaves him standing there with his heart on his sleeve. He wishes Billy would just look him in the eye, but the blonde doesn't, instead focusing on lighting his cigarette. _ _

__The slam of the Camaro's door sounds like the report of a shotgun in an empty room._ _

__

__..................._ _

__

__It's not surprising to realize that the world- or at least Hawkins- had moved on without him. Everyone seemed contented with their lives, as mediocre as they were, not that Steve thought the world revolved around him but _geez;_ he at least thought they'd miss him. _ _

__So far, Tina had passed him straight in the hallway and Tommy and Karen had made fun of his haggard appearance. His cheeks had burned with shame as some freshman girls rolled their eyes at him as he went to open his locker. He wished to God he could just stuff his head in the damn locker and never come out of there until it was time to go home. Like an ostrich._ _

___A very sad... ostrich._ _ _

__"Steve?"_ _

__He turned around so fast, he swore he'd snapped his own neck._ _

___Nancy._ _ _

__Her huge blue eyes regard him carefully; genuine curiosity with a little bit of trepidation. It's almost as if she were afraid of him. Or embarrassed to be seen in public talking to him. Not too long ago, Johnathan Byers had been in this exact position while Steve had been on the other._ _

__Karma was a bitch but Jesus... _didn't he pay enough for his ignorant sins?__ _

__"Hey Nance." He greets softly, turning away to stuff some books into his locker. The action was part honest and part, him trying to hide his stupid face. Somehow, facing Nancy made things a hundred times worse and came with a harsh resentment that sometimes left him feeling ashamed. After all, it was because of Nancy he'd gotten to where he was at currently._ _

__As ugly as those feelings were, he couldn't help it._ _

__"I was so worried about you. I kept calling but your mom said you were resting. How- what's going on with you Steve?" She blurts out, those pretty blue eyes glistening with concern. He almost wanted to retort that his welfare was no longer her problem but he slammed a book into his locker instead._ _

__"Nothing. Seriously it's fine Nance. I'm fine. Everything's fine." He mutters, sorting through some loose file pages scattered at the bottom of his locker._ _

__Her hand on his shoulder shouldn't have made him jerk back as if he'd been burned but... it did anyway, leaving Nancy with her hand out, eyes shimmering and terrified._ _

__"I- ...I'm sorry. Didn't mean to..." He chokes, going back to rummage his locker. He half expects her to walk away as fast as she can but a quiet sigh tells him she's still there._ _

__"It's okay." She promises earnestly, like an over-eager puppy or something. It's almost adorable... _almost.__ _

__After a lengthy stretch of uncomfortable silence, she asks quietly, "Are you okay?"_ _

__"I've got a lot of work to catch up on so I'm gonna spend the rest of free period in the library." He tells her, shoving some papers into his bag. She nods fervently, blue eyes shining._ _

__"Oh wait- hey, I can give you my notes. I've never missed a day so, y'know, everything's there."_ _

__Steve's thrilled at the idea and for the first time that day, he feels hopeful. If it's one thing he could depend on to distract him from his messy thoughts, it was homework._ _

__"Thanks Nance, really. You didn't have to-"_ _

__"Oh shut up. Of course I had to." She grins at him and he finds himself mirroring her. She hands over several wire-bound notebooks, each labelled Mathematics, Literatures in English, Chemistry and Principles of Business._ _

__"I've been behind on Physics too, you think you can help me with that... please?" He asks softly, avoiding her eyes. It's a moment of weird timidity that he doesn't particularly like but it's become a trait of his recently._ _

___Oh how the mighty have fallen._ _ _

__"Oh, that..."_ _

__Her eyes narrow and gaze down at the floor as if she were guilty of something._ _

__"Um, I lent my Physics notes to Billy. He- um, he wasn't here for a couple of days and he... needed to catch up." She mutters, arms wrapped tight around her thick textbooks. He can see she's nervous about revealing that little fact; hell, he always knew when she was feeling uncomfortable. She was doing that cute thing where she bit into her soft lower lip, pressing down into the flesh until it became sore and tingly._ _

__But enough about her... _did she just say she'd lent her notes to Billy?__ _

__As in, Billy _Hargrove?__ _

__His awkward smile instantly vanishes and he finds himself closing off again. Disassociating. He quickly turns back to his locker, his jaw flexing slightly, his lashes heavy over his face._ _

__"Billy Hargrove? You... and Billy Hargrove..." He murmurs as if he was still trying the words on his lips, the mere thought of Nancy and Hargrove leaving a sour taste in his mouth._ _

__"No!" Nancy is quick to amend. "When you say it like that... sounds terrible. No, he's just gotten close to the kids as of late and to be honest, he's not that bad once you get to... know him. I'm so glad he's the one helping you study. Even Max says he's been getting better."_ _

__Steve wants to vomit._ _

__Jesus, she sounds like a television ad for Billy Hargrove; _the Bad-Boy with a heart of gold._ Oh yeah, he's just fucking perfect. And Steve knows he's coming off a bitter point of view but..._ _

__God he wishes he could switch her off._ _

__"And what d'you think of him? You suddenly what, like him?" He presses, not rudely but not casual either. It's tipping on a dangerous line of sounding like an accusation._ _

__Nancy shakes her head, oblivious to the fire bubbling inside him and the look on his face._ _

__"No, I don't like him, _like him._ I just think he's a decent person. I mean, sure he was a major jerk but he's apologized for all he's done." _ _

__"And you're cool with that?" He pushes, his tone almost antagonizing._ _

__She frowns slightly at him but nods, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "I mean- ...I guess. People grow Steve. They change. You did."_ _

__That particular line has his thoughts at a stalemate, his memories reeling back to the time before Nancy, when he'd been ruling the world, with Tommy and Carol at his side. Had sacrificed a lot of his old self after he'd gotten with the starry-eyed babe from Algebra. At least, that's who shed been to him _then.__ _

__Now they were so far removed from each other, that she actually seemed more popular the him while he remained isolated, blended into the background. He'd probably been silent for a long time before he realised she'd walked down the hall at the ringing of the bell._ _

__He stays frozen in place as students rush past him in the hallway._ _

___"People grow Steve. They change. You did."_ _ _

__Yeah, he thinks, but did I change for the better?_ _

___Or is it all downhill from here?_ _ _

__

__........................._ _

__

__The smell of clean sweat, freshly waxed floors and dirty, old gym socks immediately hit him in the face as he takes a few ginger steps into the court. It should smell familiar, _feel_ familiar and be familiar to him but it doesn't. Instead it just makes him feel sick to his stomach. He can see the guys on the other end of the court, doing their drills, flourishing under Coach Bell's commands. The first person he sees, is unfortunately Matt. _ _

__His stomach twists into several severely uncomfortable knots at the sight of the other boy, nails digging into his palmto keep him from spazzing. Matt's shirtless- as usual, playing for the skins- his naked skin gleaming bright with sweat. His impressive muscles flex and curve just beneath his skin, like waves of caramel. Steve hates the way his body automatically responds to that kind of visual temptation and it takes everything in him not to run into the shower stalls and puke all over the floor._ _

__"Harrington!"_ _

__That's Coach Bell hailing him out from across the court._ _

__He freezes in place as all his teammates turn to stare at him, some curious, some judgmental and some... _not even looking at him._ _ _

__Billy's golden curls are all that greets him as he approaches the group. He doesn't know what the Californian is looking at... _or what he finds so damn interesting about the wall of the gymnasium..._ but it makes a petulant feeling of anger and longing bubble within him. His anger and his resentment suddenly burn like acid in his throat and he has to swallow it down as Bell snaps a finger in front of him. _ _

__"Welcome back Harrington."_ _

__"Hey Coach." He mutters, passing the man a slip of paper that basically excused his lengthy absence from the institution. He'd had to pass out those slips to every teacher and administrator he'd encountered today and it was humiliating, to say the least. It was bad enough that the entire student population glared at him like some kind of eyesore; _a pink slip handed personally to the teacher made things even worse.__ _

__"Alright Harrington, we'll start you off light. Isolated training until you're ready to be integrated into the team again." Bell declares, the whole team staring at him with spiteful smirks and grins._ _

__Billy still hasn't even _breathed_ once in his direction. _ _

__"As for the rest of you, I want laps around the field. You can come back in twenty minutes."_ _

__

__***_ _

__

__Billy runs laps as if he's got a chip on his shoulder the size _and depth_ of the Grand Canyon. It's almost as if he's running from some kind of inescapable monster, and just like in a dream, he can't seem to escape it. Of course the monster would be his spiteful thoughts of one Steve Harrington, making a mockery of him inside his head. _ _

__He can see the image of the brunette every time he closes his friggin eyes. That messy hair blowing wistfully in the soft breeze. Huge, dark brown doe-eyes that just sparkle as if they're staring into star-light. Soft, cotton pink lips being bitten roughly by white teeth. His skin is pale- paler than usual with a few, splotches of red and purple, especially near his jaw. Looked like he'd been through the wringer. Billy tries his damnest not to cringe at the thought of Matt hitting Steve again but he does anyway. It slows him down a bit and he allows Tommy and Ryan to breeze past him._ _

__He'd been in the lead... in control all the time._ _

__But he couldn't get Steve out of his head._ _

__He'd seen the way the skinny boy had gazed at Matt and his stupid body when he'd first walked into the gym. He hadn't even paid the slightest attention to Billy. No. Those eyes and that hungry stare was all for Matt, although Billy could sense a bit of revulsion in the boy's expression as well. He chalked it up to the wild and reckless way Steve and Matt maintained their relationship. They were young and stupid and in love or some shit, Billy didn't give a flying fuck. He just hated the way _he_ hated the way Steve looked at Matt._ _

___Told you you'd get attached._ _ _

__There's that fucking voice again; in his head, taunting him like the very memory of Steve Harrington._ _

__Shut up, Billy snarls at it, accelerating his pace._ _

__"-that your bitch is back." Ryan jokes, his stupid voice and pants just behind Billy. They've settled into a jogging pace now, conserving energy before they sprint again._ _

__Matt snorts at his buddy, but can't help the sleazy grin that splits his face in two._ _

__"Not my bitch anymore man."_ _

__Billy frowns slightly, but he just knows they're talking about Steve._ _

__"Shit, when the fuck did that happen?"_ _

__Matt laughs, a loud and obnoxious thing if any._ _

__"Caught him."_ _

__"What?"_ _

__"Red handed man."_ _

__"You're fucking lying." Ryan remarks, totally scandalized. Billy can tell he's really amused by what Matt's telling him. Billy was too, only he kept him mouth shut and kept jogging. Close enough to hear but far enough that he didn't look obvious. Apparently Harrington had gotten frisky with someone at that party a while back. Must've been some guy, Billy thinks with a flare of bitterness._ _

__"Ain't lying. Looked like he'd gotten a bit wild when I was in Texas. Went to my damn friend's house and fucked some of his friends there."_ _

__Ryan's about to lose his goddamn mind while Billy's feet stutters a bit in their jog._ _

___Fucked? Some...?_ _ _

__Tommy comes and passes them with a stupid cackle but Billy doesn't even care._ _

__"Damn. Looks like the cat's out of the bag. Harrington might be a sweetheart here, but it looks like he's a bit of a slut given the mileage and the freedom." Ryan snorts, clearly loving this delicious piece of gossip._ _

__Matt chuckles, indulging in his lie. "Pretty boy's always been a slut. Hard to keep his goddamn pants on."_ _

__"So what, did you break up with him?"_ _

__"It's been over since that night."_ _

__Billy doesn't even know what to think after that, so he just keeps running, and running._ _

__And running._ _

__

__........................_ _

__

__Back in the gym, Steve's just gotten an A+ review from Coach Bell for his remediation practice._ _

__He has a stupid grin on his face..._ _

__...completely unaware of just how hard his life is about to come crashing down._ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much love and enjoy minhoy. XD


	16. Don't Make Me Cry By Myself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the kids prepare for the worst, so too does Billy and Steve. The only thing is, Steve isn't sure what's worse; being eaten alive by demogorgons? Or getting eaten alive by his own emotions?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the welcome backs and the love! I've missed you guys! This chapter is a bit of a downer... surprise surprise! I promise it gets better.... soon... hopefully...
> 
> Drop a comment if you're still a fan of this fic!

Don't Make Me Cry By Myself 

 

"Is this really necessary?" 

"Yes." 

"How?"

"Because it's standard issue. In every game, ever horror movie, there's always a sequel with a bigger and much scarier monster. Demodogs are one thing, but, can you imagine a demogorgon the size of the Mind Flayer? We need to plan our strategy from now."

"That's insane!" 

"Dustin, stop it you're scaring Jane."

"Not scared." Jane responds quietly, an indulgent smile on her face as she nods at Dustin to continue on with his crazy theories. 

"I think Mike's the one who's actually scared." Lucas comments cheekily earning a nod from Will and Max. 

"I don't think _anything's_ bigger than the Mind Flayer." Will says with a shudder, his dark eyes distant though not as haunted as they used to be. 

"What about the Terminator? He's pretty strong." Max suggests with a shrug.

"I said big, Max." Dustin snipes, shaking his head exaggeratedly. 

"Hey, just because something's big, doesn't mean it's super powerful. It just means that there are more areas to attack. Areas where weakness can be exploited." She shoots back, earning raised brows from everyone. 

That _did_ make sense. 

"Okay fine. That's true. But we need to make sure that everyone's ready when the time comes." Dustin amends, chewing religiously on a piece of cherry licorice. 

"When _what_ comes Dustin?" Mike grouses, "Jane says that she doesn't feel like there's anything out there. It's just blank, infinite space every time she tries the blindfold. The Mind Flayer's gone. Right Jane?"

All the kids instantly turn to the brunette girl, who blinks back at them with slightly dazed eyes. Her lips quiver a bit at being put on the spot like that and she gulps nervously. It was true. She hadn't sensed any imminent, extra-dimensional danger ever since she put away that huge, imposing Mind Flayer. Hawkins had been peaceful and the government and their toxic lab had been gone for well over two or three months now. If there had been even the slightest inkling that they were in danger, she would've alerted Hopper. 

"Well, Jane?" Mike prods.

Jane opens her mouth to respond but is interrupted by an abrupt knock on the door. 

Radio silence engulfs the living room as the knocks grow in urgency. They can hear the sounds of birds chirping outside, the scratching of nails on dry skin as Dustin digs at an itchy spot on his leg. Their ears are all tuned to the front door however, hearts in their throats and mouths dry as they anticipate the worst. 

_"Where's Billy?"_ Lucas whispers to Max who damn near jumps out of her skin. 

_"He's in the garage fixing his car."_ She hisses back, jumping at another round of raps on the door. 

_"What if it's the guys from Hawkins Lab?"_ Will asks with a worried edge to his voice. Jane shifts uncomfortably next to Mike. The dark-haired boy bites his lip nervously, hating himself for thinking that if it were any kind of danger, Jane would protect them. He couldn't entertain the thought of her being their shield but realistically he was aware of the fact that she was the only one in their group mostly equipped to efficiently take out any kind of threat. 

Max slowly gets to her feet, ignoring the panicked fingers grabbing her ankle. 

"I'll just see who it is, let go of my leg Lucas!" She hissed, grabbing a crowbar that had been resting quietly in the corner near the couch. The Hargrove house rarely had visitors and if it did, it was more than likely friends of Neil's. She hoped to God that was the case and not something much more threatening and sinister. 

The crowbar felt heavy and cold in her sweaty palms, but it was her only reassurance so she put all of her trust in it. Jane and the boys also crept up quietly behind her, eyes wide and anxious. She prepared her mind for whatever threat might come, unsure of what to expect but certain that she could protect her friends with her powers. 

The knocking hardened by the sixth minute before a familiar voice broke through the silence. 

"Billy! C'mon I know you're in there! Just- ...please... I- _really_ need to talk to you." 

Dustin was the first to crack. 

"Steve?!" He yelled, shoving past everyone to yank open the door. 

_"Steve?"_ The other teens chorus like some kind of overexcited echo. The door swings open wide on its hinges as the dumbfounded brunette gaped at them with wide eyes. Max is probably the only one who feels unsure about the whole thing since she knows about Neil's hatred for Billy having any guy friends. All a part of Neil's wonderful programme of making Billy into the ideal man, of course. 

"Dus- guys? What- how... _what_ are you doing here?" Steve stutters, chuckling nervously as if he'd been caught doing something extremely wrong. The kids don't seem to notice however, as they rush up to their favorite babysitter and crowd him with a tight group hug. 

"We missed you!" 

"He smells like vanilla!"

"No, he smells like _chemicals!"_

"Did your hair get longer?"

"Oh my God, it's so glorious!" 

_"It did get longer!"_

"Guys, guys hold on-" Steve protests but it's weak and brittle as the grin on his face grows wider. After a few weeks of being treated like complete crap and having to deal with not only his unrelenting parents but also a conniving ex-boyfriend that couldn't stop taunting him; it felt good to be missed. He could almost feel the adoration the kids held for him, surging through his body like oxygen in his veins. 

It felt... _pure._

"I've got so much to tell you man!" Dustin squeals excitedly, practically dragging Steve into the Hargrove's house. Mike tugs at his other arm and yammers about some new game. It sounds almost the same as D&D but he's not too sure. 

"C'mon let's play it now! We'll kick your butt!"

"I- I think I'll take you up on that offer some time soon." He replies, easily enough. It hard to believe that just a few minutes ago, he'd been a tangled mess of nerves, trepidation and uncertainty. He'd half expected to be turned away by Billy before he'd even made it to the doorsteps but here, right now, everything seemed to fall into perfect place. 

...as if he'd never left.

As if he'd never gone astray. 

His brilliant grin mellows at the thought and he finds himself desperate to make amends. He needed to see Billy. 

Now.

"How come you're here?" Max inquires, as if she's just read his goddamn mind. His eyes flicker to Jane who is standing quietly to the side, fingers clasped together as she gazes at him with vacant yet intrusive eyes. His skin prickles at the thought that she might know exactly what had happened to him but then she looks away and he breathes out. 

"I was- ...just here to work out some school stuff with Billy." He answers quietly, eyes trying to read Max to ensure that she hadn't accidentally noticed his blatant lie. But after a hot second she just shrugs and points to some vague point over her shoulder.

"He's in the garage." 

Steve nods at the gesture, but lingers for a minute, not sure if he's ready to be shut down by the blonde boy again. He takes a look around and realizes that the kids are all there, hanging out at Billy Hargrove's place... the way they used to at his. It's a bit insulting and he tries to ignore the pinch of jealousy and embarrassment he feels at that. If he was being honest with himself, he'd admit that it was his distant behaviour that had led to the kids turning to Billy. But Steve Harrington was a liar, if anything, and he could stand to hide beneath his pride for a while longer. 

"Hey, d'you want to help us plan our attack?" Dustin asks excitedly, pulling up a sheet of paper from the floor. Steve grabs the thing quickly, holding it just so it doesn't show how shaky his hands are. 

It looks like a rudimentary, totally juvenile map of Hawkins. Bright colours represent specific zones, like the "possible portal zone" and the "magnetic forcefield zone." Steve feels the corner of his lips curve upwards a bit at the purity of it all but his morbid mind overcrowds any sort of humour from this.

"Guys, what is this? You can't go poking at this stuff alright? It's dangerous. It's not a game." 

He misses the way the kids smile at his mothering, but he can't help the way his body relaxes when he realizes that he sounds like his old self. Berating his kids in a desperate but futile attempt to prevent them from ripping open a door to the frickin Underworld had sort of brought the old Steve back and for that he felt a smidge of gratefulness. 

"We know that Steve. But that doesn't mean that we can't prepare ourselves if things _do_ go bad." Dustin defends, earning a nod from everyone except Jane who's still staring at him quietly. 

It's unnerving. 

"We just need to be sure." Mike adds as Lucas shakes his head. 

"I'm actually with Steve on this one guys. It's just gonna blow up in our faces." 

Will nods a bit at that. "That's true. I mean- isn't the government still no monitoring us?" 

"And don't forget they're still on the look out for some Russian kid with powers." Max warns, gesturing towards Jane. 

"And if they're still spying on us, it means that we need to be careful about what we do and say." Steve says pointedly, stressing on his every word. He knows he can come across like a pussy when it came down to this whole Hawkins cover-up thing but in truth, it was his last shred of self-preservation. He _was_ scared of what the government could do to him if he ever spilled his secrets. 

Dustin lets out a heavy sigh. "Maybe you have a point." 

Will pats the boy on his shoulder and smiles at Steve. "Billy's in the garage." Steve nods slowly, sighing as he heads towards the back. 

He hated coming down on the kids when they just wanted to protect themselves, but- ... _how else was he supposed to protect them?!_

 

......................

 

Billy's laser focused, blue eyes electric, sweat running down his face, teeth clenched hard, jaw ticking. His hands are covered in black oil and grease down to his arms and his hair is damp from the heat. AC DC blasts from a box he has built into one of the cupboard shelves in the wall. It sounds scratchy because of the cassette quality but otherwise fills his cluttered head with mindless notes and melodies that help him forget. 

He doesn't really want to think about _anything_ right now. 

His week had been crap, filled with annoying bitches, idiotic teammates, a stupid Steve Harrington and of course, an irate Neil Hargrove. Of course, Neil was always one hundred percent angry and Harrington was as stupid as they come. But this week, had been _unbearable._

Steve had tried and failed to justify setting him up with that stupud party and incurring the wrath of Neil and if he was being honest, Billy was becoming quite tired of Harrington and his dainty little lies. The boy was just a _magnet_ for trouble and Billy wasn't sure if he liked being around that kind of energy. Of course, he wasn't one to judge, being the resident bad boy and all that. But Harrington... he was just bad. Tripped up over his own feet like a newborn fawn, couldn't make up his damn mind and played with people like a spoiled Prince would with his peasants.

A part of Billy just wanted to admit however, that Steve was just as broken as him, in ways that even he couldn't explain. The boy was too trusting, too soft for his own damn good and one day that was going to get him hurt. Billy realised that after getting his ego bruised by Nancy, Steve had sort of just disconnected with, everything... but for him to just give himself over to someone as manipulative as Matt Danielson was a true sign of weakness. Physically and mentally. 

Steve was just a tangled mess and Billy couldn't afford any disasters at the moment. 

"Hey." 

_Too late._

The voice cuts through a quiet part of the song that had been playing. He frowns down his nose to the space between his legs where he could see a pair of familiar white Nike's Cortez approach him timidly. They're scuffed at the front, totally dirty and undeniably Steve Harrington's. He feels anger and impatience bubble up within his stomach and his jaw ticks harder. He chooses to quietly go about his tinkering, purposely ignoring the way Steve's shoes linger next to his. He seems nervous and unsure as he stands there in silence. 

Billy notices the skinny black jeans and offhandedly guesses that Steve's got on his favourite red sweater. That sweater was also Billy's favorite because Steve looked fucking beautiful in it. But he quickly dashed those thoughts out of his head and returned his focus on the Camaro's underbelly.

 _Fuck Steve Harrington. He can go to hell._

"I- ..." The brunette tries but his voice only comes out as a weak and pathetic croak, so he shuts up. The music is too loud for him to strike up a proper conversation anyway. 

_Good,_ Billy thinks smugly, hating the fact that he's now currently idling under his car since all of his work was already done. He didn't need to stay under there any longer but the thought of having to deal with Steve's pathetic excuses was less than appealing. After a couple minutes however, he slides out from under the car, intentionally ignoring Steve who's taken up residence on an old chair next to the radio. He's fiddling with a piece of wire on Neil's work table. 

"Don't touch that." Billy snaps, immediately sliding out from under his car. Steve drops the wire as if he'd been burned, looking down at his shoes guiltily. A dusty pink blush adorns his pale face and for a minute, Billy feels bad. But he quickly shakes it off. 

"Gonna need to talk to Max about opening the door for strangers."

Steve goes to speak but a shrill screech from _The Scorpions_ interrupts him. He reaches out and turns the thing off-

"Don't touch that either-" Billy starts but it's too late. The music cuts off abruptly, plunging the two boys in an uncomfortable silence. They're facing each other, but not looking at each other; quite the paradox. Steve avoids his glare as much as possible and Billy just glares at the wall behind the brunette. 

"I'm sorry." Steve finally murmurs, like a child that's been scolded. 

_"For what?"_ Billy scathes, hands on his hips, dirty rag hanging out the back pocket of his jeans. Steve's eyes rove over his entire body, taking in the grease smeared all over his arms and face. The dirty, once-white wife beater that's currently bulging over all his muscles. His bare feet and the jeans that's belted on his waist low. 

"For- ... I dunno. Everything." Steve answers helplessly. There's an inner conflict behind his pretty doe-eyes but he doesn't elaborate. 

That's weak, Billy thinks, scoffing as he leans against the Camaro, those bulging arms folded sternly, legs crossed at the ankles. 

"Is that right?" He antagonizes, loving the way Steve's face visibly crumbles. It's mean, and harsh, just like the old Billy.

"What happened to your car?" Steve asks softly, nodding at the smashed left headlight and the sizable dent on the Camaro's door. Billy's smug grin goes sour and he snorts. 

"Neil happened. Smashed her with a baseball bat." 

Steve shakes his head as if it were his fault and apologizes again. His hands are clenched tight, veins showing green beneath his white skin. He looks tortured and frail but Billy honestly cannot find it within himself to care. He still feels the burn of Steve tossing him aside when Matt called from Texas. And he hasn't forgotten how Steve had set him up at the library once again to run off with Matt. He's pissed, and tired... and he's done playing Steve's game. 

"What are you doing here? And _please,_ save the dramatics for Bell." He bites, noticing Steve's little flinch with a feeling of deep satisfaction. 

"I- ...I don't know. Billy I- ...I just have to make it right." The brunette pleads quietly, his voice shaky. 

"Why's it matter to you?" 

"What?" 

"Why's it matter to you? To make things right with me?" Billy pushes, vein pulsing in his neck. 

Steve shakes his head jerkily. "I dunno-"

"Bullshit!" Billy snarls, tired of Steve's innocent act. He kicks against the Camaro, launching himself just inches from Steve's face. The pretty boy jerks back in his seat, gasping in shock. 

"Why?!"

"Why _what?_ " Steve cries out.

"Don't play dumb. Tell me why?!" 

_"I don't know!"_ Steve finally cracks, his little outburst making Billy back off a little. There's nothing between them but harsh pants, thick tension and charged heat. 

Harrington was a _magnet_ for trouble. 

"You _care_ , alright." 

It's said so softly that Billy almost misses it. But he takes one look at Steve's face and sees the broken and twisted turmoil in his eyes. 

"What?" 

"You care." Steve repeats, elbows in his knees, head cradled in his hands. "After everything with... with Nancy and... and Matt you- ...you were _there_." 

Billy's speechless, his mouth just barely agape and his chest tight with uncertainty. He'd been asking for Steve's honesty for so fucking long that when it finally comes... he doesn't know what the hell to do with it. He could only stand there, staring at the shell of his former enemy... former friend? Steve Harrington was trouble. 

"I know we started off as... as enemies or whatever but then you- ..." 

"What? Tutored you?" Billy cackles, unable to stop himself from laughing. "That wasn't me trying to be your friend Harrington. I needed extra credits, so I struck up a deal with Mrs Keller. That's all that was." 

Steve looks him in the eye this time, and is unable to turn away. His eyes are huge, glassy and Billy recognizes the fresh look of betrayal. His lower lip quivers involuntarily and he bites down on it hard. 

"You're lying." Steve whispers, shaking his head, disbelieving.

Billy grunts. "I'm not."

"Bullshit. _Bullshit!_ " Steve growls, shooting up from the chair. He doesn't even care about the fact that those words were the same ones that started his unravelling. 

"What- you actually thought that I cared about you? You're way past delusional Harrington." Billy taunts. 

"Stop it! All those times we talked, and you told me about your Dad-"

"Don't!" Billy snarls, "That ain't remotely the same. I only said those things to make you feel good about yourself. Didn't think you'd take it to heart."

"And what about that time... in my room when we almost-" 

"Yeah, no." Billy shoots back almost immediately. "That was just me trying to get in your pants. See what all the hype was about." 

If Steve didn't look completely and totally decimated then, Billy would've chalked it up to his eyes playing tricks on him. But the tear that slips down Steve's face isn't an illusion and Billy follows it's track, shimmering down pale skin. 

"No. No you stopped Ryan from- ...in the locker room. You couldn't have been trying to-" 

"Wow. Wheeler did a number on you didn't she? Ryan was a dick. He deserved what he got but don't think I ever gave a damn about you pretty boy." 

_That was harsh._

"I said I was sorry. And I am." Steve chokes. "If all this is still about the party I-"

"It's not about the fucking party! It's about you playing with people like they're pawns. One minute you're helplessly in love with Matt and the next, you're kissing me like you mean it. But let's not forget how you always choose him. I don't even care about what you do with him but don't you _dare_ act like I owe you something."

"I'm not-" Steve protests weakly but it goes unheard. 

"And by the way, you can drop this wholesome, innocent act. Matt already told me about that party. Looks like you love the attention." 

Steve's entire system halts, his his eyes riveted to Billy's face. His blood runs cold and his stomach twists unpleasantly. 

_What?_

He could instantly feel the wave of shame crashing over him, washing away his last shred of sanity and leaving him cold and exposed. Billy knew... about the party... about the ra- his stomach twists at the memory of Matt's friends holding him down, violating him. He vaguely hears himself ask Billy about what he knew. 

"Matt told me how you screwed his friends. Then he dumped you. No wonder you're running back to me, pretending that I give a shit about you. Granted Matt's a piece of shit anyway but, you gotta admit Harrington, that's weak." 

Steve's shut down after that revelation, his eyes going blank, his chest hollowed out. He grits his teeth, his jaw ticking hard. It's like that feeling with Nancy all over again; when she'd told him that he was bullshit and that she didn't love him. Only this was a thousand times worse. Because what the hell could he say? _No, you've got it all wrong. Matt's friends actually raped me?_

Who would believe him? And besides, it was embarrassing and his father would kill him if he ever found out. 

It was a double edged sword and Steve's pretty sure he'd get hurt either way. 

_Just shut your mouth. Don't say a fucking word._

"I'm sorry." He says quietly, ashamed to even look Billy in the eyes. He takes his leave without so much as a nod to the kids. 

_You're over Steve Harrington._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *hides from angry, angsty readers*

**Author's Note:**

> :/ ....... I'm sad. Hope u enjoyed.


End file.
